I don’t care how many bikini shoots Jordana Brewster does for crappy men’s magazines — it still doesn’t atone for Fast and the Furious. That requires a full-on naked apology. Nothing says I’m sorry like nipples!
In the May issue of Maxim:
“Fast and the Furious” star Jordana Brewster is in Rio shooting “Fast Five,” which — as the similar alliteration would suggest — is part of the same terrible F&F franchise. Even though she looks terrific in a bikini, I’d still rather gargle fire ants and broken glass than watch any of those godawful movies. They’re unbearable. I’m sure there’s big money to be made from catering to the douchebag demographic, but there’s probably big money in the fecophilia and pedophilia market, too. If we don’t draw the line, who will?
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
I’m not exactly sure where the editors of Maxim went wrong with this year’s Hot 100 List, but I think a safe bet is sometime around the year 1996, or “the last time the words ‘Jennifer Love Hewitt’ and ‘hot’ were used in a sentence without referencing fudge sundaes” as it’s known to the rest of the modern world.
Your “Top 100″ — 1. Olivia Wilde; 2. Megan Fox; 3. Bar Rafaeli; i4. Malin Akerman; 5. Mila Kunis;6. Eliza Dusku; 7. Adriana Lima; 8. Rihanna; 9. Jordana Brewster; 10. Jennifer Love Hewitt:
The equally disappointing 31-100 listed after the jump
-
