Madonna’s taste for baseball players had apparently been a long time in the making — former Oakland A Jose Canseco is claiming that she tried to seduce him 17 years ago in the hopes of getting a hold of some of his sweet Cuban sperm. Us Weekly released the following excerpts from his candid interview:

Us: How did it happen?

JC: Her people approached me saying she was interested in meeting me.

Us: What did they say was the reason?

JC: I’m Cuban and she wanted a Cuban child.

Us: And she barely knew you at this point.

JC: She didn’t.

Us: So she was interested in your genes.

JC: Yeah, I’m Cuban 6-foot-3, athletic, built.

Us: At that first meeting, what happened?

JC: She turned on Truth or Dare and showed me the masturbation scene and asked me what I thought about it. Then she sat on my lap and kissed me. I then told her that if I left [my wife] I would lose a lot of money and she said, ‘I have lots of money. Don’t worry about that’.

Well, that’s completely normal. Fucking celebrities, man. It’s like they live on the Island of Dr. Moreau. But with less animal-human hybrids and a lot more burning when you pee.