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Julia Roberts proves it — one crazy eye is scarier than two. Yikes. SIDE NOTE: the image on the left is what Sarah Palin sees when she envisions herself at the 2016 Inaugural Ball. Only in the version in her head, she’s wearing her Miss Alaska tiara and there’s a Winchester bolt-action hanging from the belt.

The rest of the night’s worst dressed in the gallery above!

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A trapezoid is smaller on top and bigger on the bottom, so it’s the perfect shape for disguising the extra junk in your trunk after all that holiday binging. Not that Julia Roberts has any extra junk in her trunk that needs disguising here. I honestly don’t know if she’s put on any weight. She could be exactly the same size she always was, or she could be in the early stages of her second trimester. We’ll never know in that dress. And that, my friends, is the whole point.

Plenty of binge-worthy trapeze-cut tops, tank dresses and tunics in the gallery above!

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The color is fab. The rest of Julia Roberts’ look at the NY premiere of “August: Osage County” is not. Her Proenza Schouler dress is bulky and reads like a polyester uniform and the waistband sits too high, which makes her look wide through the middle. And THOSE SHOES. They’re a crime against God and humanity. May they suffer the same fate as Kellie Pickler’s platform pumps. Amen.

44-year-old Julia Roberts in a bikini isn’t bad, but then 44-year-old Julia Roberts in a bikini isn’t good, either. Welcome to the Switzerland of celebrity swimsuit pictures.

In Hawaii with her three kids Hazel, Phinnaeus and Henry (whose names are now etched on her body in the traditional tramp stamp fashion):

PHOTO CREDIT: Star Magazine

I know there’s been one question that’s been eating at you for weeks now — did Julia Roberts get breast implants? Let’s ask someone who’s never treated her for their expert medical opinion! Star Magazine says:

“It does look like she had a breast augmentation; they look significantly larger now,” observes Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Stuart A. Linder, who does not treat the actress.

“She was probably a 34A or small B, and now she looks more like a nice, full C cup,” Dr.Linder tells Star. “Her breasts have more projection, and she certainly fills in her bathing suit much, much better.”

Aw, he can’t tell shit from that picture. She might have just gained some weight is all. Her suit might be padded. She might have stayed underground for the last six months, hidden from the sun’s evil rays, and her skin is just reflecting more light back to your eye in some kind of ultra-pale person trompe l’oeil. We’ll have to ask her fellow mole-people next time one of them surfaces. Rumor has it they already made her their queen.

At the “Eat, Pray, Love” premiere:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

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