Julianne Hough has a lovely spread in this month’s issue of Prestige Hong Kong, and I went out on a limb and assumed you hadn’t already bought the magazine. She looks nice and all, but that sweater she’s wearing on the cover is a little small, isn’t it? I wouldn’t have thought Ryan Seacrest would let her borrow his best cashmere shrug for some photo shoot. Especially if she were gonna wear those shoes with it.

Because being Ryan Seacrest’s beard just wasn’t paying off with the job offers like she expected, Julianne Hough had her cell phone “hacked” and the photos “leaked” online yesterday. Wink, wink. And I’m sure more people would be talking about her if the pics were any good. They’re not. Sure, there’s some stripper wear and the bikini, but there’s also a swim cap and a mustache and a very large zit she just picked right in the middle of her forehead. To be honest, they’re really more embarrassing than they are sexy.

I knew right away that the man pictured kissing Julianne Hough was not her boyfriend Ryan Seacrest because A) He isn’t wearing a mankini, and B) His chest isn’t freshly waxed. And also, he doesn’t seem to be worried about the salt water stripping his highlights and mangling his cuticles or all the sand that’s collecting in his vagina chafing later during spin class.

With Diego Boneta shooting “Rock of Ages” in Miami:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Whitney Houston has been banned from attending any future Prince concerts after repeatedly trying to make her way onstage at his shows while high on crack and Wild Turkey. TMZ says:

Whitney attended several Prince concerts in the last few weeks and appeared to be “intoxicated” at each show.

Whitney was constantly badgering Prince’s staff to let her up on the stage … but Team prince shot her down every time because P’s people “didn’t want her to embarrass herself.”

Our sources say Whitney’s erratic behavior, coupled with repeated and excessive ticket demands became too much for Prince — and his team ultimately banned Houston from his concerts.

Personally, I never burn a bridge until I’ve urinated or vomited on it first, but that’s just me. Whitney wasn’t even given the chance. She got trumped before she even played her card. And ten bucks said that card would have been one of her weaves covered in puke and crack residue and a hilarious video we could watch over and over again on YouTube. Way to ruin it for everybody, Prince!

Oh, look — even MORE pics of Julianne Hough in a bikini. What are the odds?:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Arnold Schwarzenegger and wife Maria Shriver shocked the world this morning when they announced that they had separated after 25 years of marriage. The couple said in a joint statement:

“After a great deal of thought, reflection, discussion and prayer, we came to this decision together. At this time, we are living apart while we work on the future of our relationship.

We are continuing to parent our four children together. They are the light and center of both of our lives.

We consider this a private matter and neither we nor any of our friends or family will have further comment.”

I was gonna say something like, “Well, I guess he won’t be back” and call him the DIvorceantor, but then I thought it would just make you hate me more than you already do. So instead I just posted these pictures of Julianne Hough in a bikini. Hasta la vista, bad Terminator puns!

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

I didn’t watch the ACMA’s last night and neither did you, so don’t try to lie and say you did. I know you better than that. Honestly, aren’t we kinda past all that shit now? You don’t have to try and impress me anymore. Just like I don’t have to try to impress you. So in the spirit of our newfound honesty and openness: Brooklyn Decker Julianne Hough boobs. Also, I’m not sucking in.

Brooklyn:

Julianne:

I’m sure you woke up this morning with several unanswered questions churning inside your head — “What day is it?” “Where am I?” “Is that pee?” and “Who won the American Country Music Awards 2009 Entertainer of the Year?” Well, worry no more, my friends. All the answers you need are right here. People Magazine says

Carrie Underwood became the first woman since 2001 to be named ACM entertainer of the year – and only the seventh female to win the Academy of Country Music’s top honor since it was first handed out in 1970.

Underwood also took home the award for top female vocalist, a repeat of last year’s win.

Marisa Miller:

Kelli Pickler:

Leann Rimes:

Taylor Swift:

Carrie Underwood:

Nicole Kidman, Matthew McConaughey, Miley Cyrus and lots more after the jump.

(more…)