“Comedianne” Kathy Griffin spent her New Year’s Eve co-hosting CNN’s End of the Year Countdown with Anderson Cooper, and by “comedianne” I mean “social wart” and by “co-hosting” I mean “bleating ‘Shut up! I don’t go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!’ at an inaudible hecklers on live TV.” Good times. This is why you don’t hire Kathy Griffin to do anything except impersonate a woman at a drag show or feast on little children in her gingerbread house.
If you thought Ashton Kutcher’s crappy new show “Pop Fiction” couldn’t get any lamer, allow me to present Exhibit D. As in D-list and D-Bags. Adnan “Fifteen Minutes Long Since Over” Ghalib and comedianne Kathy Griffin, panty-shopping together! Egad! In case you don’t know, the show’s premise involves celebrities setting up the paparazzi, like Paris Hilton and her personal shaman or Audrina Partridge and her meaningless tattoo. And in case you didn’t care, you could get the same quality celebrity fishing turds out of the shitter at Hyde or wringing out Lindsay Lohan’s t-back. Well-played, Kelso! Well-played.
Comedianne Kathy Griffin narrowly escaped being mowed down outside a popular L.A. nightclub in a drive-by shooting. TMZ reports
After our cameras caught Kathy Griffin walking out of Teddys at the Roosevelt Hotel on Hollywood Boulevard, someone inside a passing vehicle opened fire. As the panicked crowd ducked for cover, the lead continued to fly. At least one person was injured. Other bullets connected with the front entrance, where several chunks of concrete were blasted out of the walls. The LAPD is currently investigating the incident. So far, no arrests have been made.
I don’t know if there’s a whole “East Side/West Side” thing that goes on between shitty d-list stand-up comics, so this could be some kind of comedian-gang-related incident with which I’m not familiar. But my gut leads me in another direction. That this was an assassination attempt. I mean, who doesn’t want Kathy Griffin dead? Or paralyzed? Or chopped into tiny bits and sprinkled into a vat of acid? Or hosed down with kerosene and lit on fire? I know I think about it all the time. Just you wait ’till I finally get cancer, guys. I’m up to three packs a day. Then that “Make a Wish Foundation” is going to have to make all my homicidal pyromanical dreams come true. Sure, the chemo might suck, but between Kathy’s crispy corpse and all the OxyContin Medicare can buy it’s going to be fuckin’ awesome.
More of Mischa Barton in the bikini after the jump, because even fully-clothed Kathy Griffin is fucking disgusting
Falling down is always funny. Even funnier if the person who fell down is fat or ugly or an amputee, so these pictures of Kathy Griffin eating the pavement yesterday are about as good as it gets. If her pants had fallen down and the guy behind her gotten kicked in the nuts and farted, we’d be looking at the “America’s Funniest Home Videos” trifecta. But I’ll take the ugly tranny falling down if that’s the only thing we’ve got, because falling down is still funny.
One more hilarious picture of the wipe out after the jump
