The year-end list-making frenzy is eating the innerwebs alive right now, but I know how you pervs operate so the only list we’re going to pay any attention to is the Daily Mail’s list of Most Desirable Celebrity Bodies.  From People:

While there remains no shortage of Hollywood starlets whose stick-thin frames continue to appear in magazines and on the red carpet, it seems now more than ever ordinary women are tiring of the look — and the possible extreme measures it takes to achieve that near-impossible standard. A recent survey, which polled 2,000 women aged 18 and over, found that stars with curvier, healthier figures were more desirable, reports the UK’s Daily Mail.  Could the era of too-too-skinny starlets be coming to an end?

I don’t agree with everyone on this list, but the top three — Kate Winslet, Kelly Brook and Halle Berry — are inarguably beautiful, and it certainly would be nice if people would quit trying to convince us that looking like an emaciated refugee or a cartoon character is sexy.  Kate Moss looks like she died at least four years ago, and that’s more “hot mess” than actually hot.  Katie Price isn’t scrawny, but she’s so shiny and orange and plastic and I just want to dress her up and put her in funny poses in shop windows.  I love Victoria Beckham because she’s delightfully insane, but let’s face it, she’s a bony alien with basketballs bolted to her chest and I don’t think that’s sexy.  So for the most part, I think this is actually a pretty good list.

The Daily Mail’s list of Most Desirable Bodies:

1. Kate Winslet (16% of votes)

2. Kelly Brook (15%)

3. Halle Berry (12%)

4. Cheryl Cole (10%)

5. Beyonce (6%)

6. Megan Fox (5%)

7. Lily Allen (4%)

8. Keeley Hazell (2%)

9. Kate Moss, Katie Price, and Victoria Beckham (tied at 1% each)

Katie Price (AKA Jordan) launched some kind of styling product line at Superdrug today.  Apparently it involves curling irons and straighteners and whatnot.  I don’t know; nobody cares anyway.  What’s important here is that Katie is, as always, dressed like a total crazypants.  Behold the insanity!  I guess just one slutty pink outfit simply wasn’t gonna cut it for this merchandising extravaganza, and thus we have: KatieJordanPriceBarbieTwoFace.

You know, I really don’t understand what goes on in my brain when Katie Price happens.  She’s totally white trash, completely fake, kind of an idiot, embroiled in an elaborate hoax of a marriage with a cartoonish gay man, wears more makeup than Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Lopez combined, and is, as far as I can surmise, utterly devoid of practical purpose.  Also, have you ever heard her talk?  Holy Hannah Montana, she’s annoying.  And yet… oh, how I love her spectacle of plastic lunacy.  I have absolutely no idea why.  It’s just one of life’s infinite mysteries.