^{Click images for NSFW versions}

I’m glad PETA has finally seen the light and done something that can actually resonate with the non-psychotic-and-hopelessly-misguided rest of us normal people. We could give a shit about the way the Colonel fries his chicken or how many crepuscular rodents have to die to make one floor-length chinchilla coat, but we really, really care about boobs. In fact, the only thing we seem to care about more than boobs are vaginas. 260 million pages of archived erotic content can’t be wrong!

Keely from the back:

Here’s a delicious sample of Page 3 girl Keely Hazell’s 2010 “Erotic Calendar.” Not to be confused with Keely Hazell’s 2010 “Psychotic Calendar,” which mostly consists of pictures of me jumping out the dumpster behind her flat and hacking off my own ear with a Swiss Army knife while she stands there screaming. Those pics still technically belong to Scotland Yard.

These pics from Keely Hazell’s 2009 swimsuit calendar are almost a year old, but fortunately, there’s no expiration date on boobs. You’re welcome!