In case you’re wondering who the behemoth in the picture is, it’s Pierce Brosnan’s wife Keely Shaye. A long time ago, she looked like this. Now she looks like she should be dodging harpoons and swallowing puppet-makers whole. I’m not sure if those are chins or just a stack of backup pancakes for emergencies. Either way, it’s probably best not to poke at ‘em. You wouldn’t want to lose a finger in the attack.

Despite the success of gay cowboy romance Brokeback Mountain, Pierce Brosnan is convinced the bisexual scenes in his new movie The Matador should stay cut. Pierce had almost backed out the role because he and his wife Keely Shaye Smith were concerned it contained too many overtly gay sex scenes. He says:

“I don’t regret it, not at all - even with Brokeback’s success. The original problem was the director (Richard Shepard) threw everything at it - including the kitchen sink. It was too much. It came on full tilt. I felt it took away from the ambiguity of his sexuality. I just got it toned down.”

Sometimes it’s a wise decision. Take Top Gun, for example. Thank God they cut all the gay sex scenes in that movie because Tom Cruise is already gay enough when he’s just acting.

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