Girls Gone Wild douchebag Joe Francis “punched and kicked” Playboy’s 2008 Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole in an assault at an L.A. nightclub last night. TMZ says

According to [Jayde's boyfriend Brody] Jenner, he and Jayde were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis’), Jenner says “unrelentingly.” Jayde felt he was harassing the woman — whom Jayde and Brody know — and she threw a drink on Francis.

Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde’s hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away — Brody followed.

Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground. Francis left the scene.

Jayde [says] she will press charges against Francis. Jayde has a black and blue cheek, her face is swollen, she has a bruised left rib and her lower abdomen is sore. Some of her hair also got pulled out.

Wow. Just… wow. Give me a moment to collect my thoughts here. I might need to pace around with my fingers interlocked behind my head. I mean, are we talking about Joe Francis here? The same Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild? Because that Joe Francis is always such a class act. Really, he’s never shown any indication that he has anything other than the utmost respect and admiration for women. This is all just coming straight out of left field.

Old NSFW Playboy pics:

Amy Winehouse doesn’t just have a penchant for cocaine and heroin; the British songstress also has a taste for some of the finer things in life. Like fine dining, for example. The Daily Mail quotes her as saying

“I went to a restaurant recently and my friend was like, ‘Do you remember the last time we were here? The head waiter carried you but you were trying to punch and kick us’. [I know] I’m a terrible drunk… but there are [still] certain instances where I’ll… come to work and be like, ‘Listen, if you want to have a nice day, please get me some alcohol’.”

Funny, I say the same thing when I get to work. Only I say it into a mirror. The one over my bed. And then I point my fingers like a gun and give myself a little wink and grab the bottle of scotch off the floor and start typing.¹ Yep, I’d say Amy Winehouse and I have just about the coolest fucking jobs in the world. Suckas!

¹_{Maybe I put pants on; maybe I don’t. It’s a mystery!}

Amy getting gussied up for a conjugal with Blake Fielder-Civil: