I’m not a gay man or a bitter divorcee desperately clinging to what’s left of my rapidly-waning sexuality, so I don’t really give a shit about the Sex and the City sequel. But there are a lot of you out there that are super-excited about the movie, which includes this “surprise” cameo by Miley Cyrus. Pacific Coast News said

“Kim Cattrall and Miley Cyrus shoot a scene for “Sex and the City 2″ where they turn up for a movie premiere in the same outfit! The premiere was for a movie called “Heart of the Desert”, which appeared to star Samantha’s (Kim Cattrall) boyfriend Smith (Jason Lewis). The dresses were by Matthew Williamson.”

When asked for comment on her makeup, Miley reportedly said, “It’s simple. We, uh, kill the Batman.” Why so serious, Miley?

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Yowza! The last time I saw knees this sexy, I was at the elephant exhibit at the zoo! Now, I have no problem whatsoever with women showing their age. I just don’t get how someone who’s 53 has knees like she’s 73. I don’t think even my grandmother has knees like that, and she’s been deceased 27 years. Have they been subjected to excessive wear and tear?Hint, hint. Well, she’s in show business, isn’t she? I think that about answers the question.

Boy, the the lead guitarist from Poison has really let himself go. Who would have thought the years would have been so unkind to someone as talented as C.C. DeVille?

Look what the cat dragged in (get it?):

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin

Worth1000 has worked their digital wizardry on the likes of Amy Winehouse and Keira Knightley in their latest photoshop endeavor, “Celebrities as Body Builders.” Sadly, this may be the best Amy Winehouse has ever looked in her life. She’s like what Madonna would look like if she were an actual Jew or even slightly effeminate in the least.

More digitally-altered actress hijinx:

Sex and the City’s Kim Cattrall is taking off her clothes again, this time as part of a campaign to raise $100 million to keep a Titian masterpiece on public display in Britain. The Daily Mail says

The 52-year-old actress duly rose to the challenge, holding her own among the nubile young bodies who were assembled to recreate Titian masterpiece Diana and Actaeon.

BBC Two’s The Culture Show teamed up with artist and photographer Tom Hunter to create a modern-day version of the artwork. For the recreation, Cattrall posed alongside the cast of cult cabaret production La Clique.

It’s amazing the power that boobs can wield. From saving art to convincing the masses to spend their faltering U.S. dollars on overpriced chicken wings and Axe Deodorant Body Spray, boobs make the world go ’round. I’ve stopped referring to mine as “breasts” in favor of the more empowering “Weapons of Mass Destruction.” Mostly because people start screaming and scrambling for the exits like I’m brandishing a goddamn bomb whenever I pull my top off. I guess sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, people feel like they just can’t take it.

Technically but barely NSFW:

Are you prepared to get “Carried away” this way May? Yeah, me neither. The official Sex and the City movie trailer finally arrived online today. To be honest, I liked this movie better when it was called “Golden Girls” and aired in syndication on the Lifetime Network. This version has way too many Blanche Deverauxs. It’s like watching those women in television commercials who sit around the table discussing the trouble with their brand-name denture adhesives/irregularity/bone density talking about waxing their beavers and doing anal instead. In New Line’s defense, “cinema gold” and “cinema old” sound a lot alike. Of course, so does “cinema gold” and “enema mold,” but that doesn’t always translate to a box office success, either.