Kris Humphries and his attorneys are claiming the above clip of Kim Kardashian professing her marital woes to mother Kris Jenner — which aired in a episode of “Kourtney and Kim Take New York” last month — was actually filmed on a soundstage in back December, meaning he now wants an annulment on the grounds that his entire marriage was clearly a big scripted lie. The Daily Mail says:

The scene was presented as having taken place two months before during a business trip the mother and daughter duo took to Dubai in October – just weeks before Kim filed for divorce after 72 days of marriage.

Kim and her mother Kris were spotted leaving a Hollywood TV studio on December 6 with the 31-year-old socialite wearing the same outfit and hairstyle as she does in the scene.

Her mother Kris was photographed following her daughter out of the studio, with an assistant carrying the purple kaftan-style dress she wears in the scene, shot in the back of a limo.

A source [said]: ‘Kris feels that if this is true and the whole conversation was faked, this would help prove that he got married under fraudulent circumstances… yes, this did occur after the marriage, but this is one clear example that could help sway the judge to grant the divorce on the grounds of fraud.’

I tried to get a marriage annulled once, but it turns out “tuck-and-hide” isn’t actually considered fraud under Tennessee state law. But don’t worry — I’m already in the preliminary stages of drafting my own bill to change all that. If we all step up and make our voices heard, together we can make a difference.

Screen caps from Kim’s photo shoot for Esquire:

31-year-old sex tape star Kim Kardashian and 29-year-old homewrecker LeAnn Rimes have more in common than just a prescription for Valtrex — they both attended the same church in Calabasas this past Sunday. The Daily Mail says:

LeAnn attended the morning service at the Life Change Community Church with her husband Eddie Cibrian, while Kim arrived with her mother Kris Jenner, sister Kourtney and nephew Mason.

Following the service on Sunday, Twitter-mad LeAnn posted: ‘Thank you a great service [Pastor Brad Johnson] you made me cry.

She then added: ‘@KimKardashian great seeing you and the fam. See you soon xoxo.’

Kim then swiftly replied with: ‘You too babe! See you soon! Xoxo.’

I’m fairly certain that in the Bible, the earth opens up and swallows the whores of Babylon whole when they dare to cross the threshold of the most holy. Which is really ironic when you stop and think about it, in that it’s usually the whores doing most of the swallowing and everything.

You already knew that Kim Kardashian was a vapid self-absorbed twat, but even I hadn’t fully grasped the voracity of her own ego until now. The Daily Mail says:

Kim Kardashian was seen reading a Google Alert about herself on her Blackberry when she ran errands in Los Angeles earlier this week.

The system notifies users when a particular name crops up in the news, so that the person in question can keep up with the world is saying about them.

And 31-year-old Kim was seen stopping as she checked out what the press was saying about her that day.

As Kim clutched her phone a message clearly reading ‘RE: Google Alert – Kim Kardashian’ was legible on her screen.

Before we judge, maybe it wasn’t the display of insatiable vanity and abject narcissism that it appeared on the surface. She was probably just checking her Google Alerts to make sure she was still famous. She knows as well as you do that her 15 minutes are long since up.

Photoshopped into another dimension in their krappy denim kollections for Sears:

Kim Kardashian tries to pretend that she’s some kind of philanthropic public servant instead of the talentless overexposed whore she is, and when she’s not staging photo ops in soup kitchens, she’s lining her pockets with staged “charitable” endeavors in which she pockets ninety percent of the proceeds. I swear, the rage this woman inspires in me is borderline homicidal. Daily Mail says:

While making a big play of her philanthropy under the banner ‘Charity Auction Supporting the Dream Foundation,’ some may be surprised to learn that she only donates 10 per cent to the cause.

The rest she pockets herself.

The site does carry the statement ‘a portion of the proceeds benefit the Dream Foundation’ on the homepage… but some may not have thought it would be as little as 10 per cent, the minimum required by eBay’s Giving Works operation.

The “minimum required by eBay’s Giving Works operation.” I see. She’s estimated to be worth $35 million. She’s got the shows, of course, and her clothing line, and her fragrance line, and that endorsement deal with ShoeDazzle, a best-selling (dear God) book and a workout DVD series, but she’s still gonna find a way to squeeze a dollar out of your pocket by masquerading as a supporter of The Dream Foundation. That’s gold-digging at its absolute finest. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was Jewish instead of Armenian.

Meet Kim Kardashian’s Sketchers spokesmodel replacement: a French bulldog in tiny sneakers. Sweaty spoiled Armenians with big fakes asses must not resonate with consumers like they used to. USA Today says:

The move [to replace Kardashian] comes about two months after she filed for a divorce from basketball star Kris Humphries, but Skechers executives insist that negative PR following the divorce filing has nothing to do with their decision.

“Kim got us more attention than we ever dreamed,” says Leonard Armato, president of Skechers Fitness. “But we have to establish Skechers as more than a lifestyle company.”

In the spot, the tiny dog — bedecked in Skechers’ new GOrun shoes — races a pack of greyhounds.

That’s a real one-eighty — from a commercial starring someone who likes getting peed on to a commercial starring someone who likes to pee on things. It’s your classic role reversal. Subtle AND clever. I like it, Skechers!

Her Skechers Super Bowl commercial:

Kris Humphries may be back on the court, but the reception was less than welcoming for his first game back. Gee, you mean a sham wedding to the most useless person on the planet wasn’t the popularity booster you thought it would be? Color me surprised. Says OK! Magazine,

Although he’s been off the court for a while thanks to the lockout, he’s been on screen front and center on Kourtney & Kim Take New York.

During the Nets game last night against the New York Knicks, the former Mr. Kim Kardashian dealt with an uproar from the fans when he entered the game in the second quarter.

E! News pointed out the play-by-play announcers even made comments about the boo birds. “Kris Humphries coming into the game, just signing a new deal. There’s a… the boos from the fans. He’s one of the most famous players in the NBA now, it has nothing to do with basketball but obviously with his marriage and quick divorce to Kim Kardashian. You feel bad for the young man. He’s gonna, no doubt, hear all sorts of taunts and stuff throughout the season.”

Even after a few plays on the court, a second commentator said, “The crowd is still in a frenzy.” Announcers were “shocked at the treatment he’s getting.”

You feel bad for him all you want. I prefer to point and laugh. It’s that kind of ability to kick people when they’re down that got me where I am today. That is, alone and making fun of other people from the anonymity of a computer.

Miranda Kerr  for Victoria’s Secret, because if I wanted to see pictures of Kris, I might as well look at the evolutionary chart.

This will neither shock nor surprise you, but it turns out the overpriced shit the Kardashians hawk at their stupid Dash stores is actually manufactured in overseas sweatshops. Who could have ever fathomed the Kardashians were soulless money-grubbers? I know this is certainly the first I’m hearing of this. Radar Online says:

Items in the family’s high-end K-Dash by Kardashian label and the Kris Jenner Kollection, and ShoeDazzle, a company that Kim cofounded and endorses, are all manufactured in… squalid factory-run dormitories filled with the stench of sewage while toiling up to 84 hours during seven-day work weeks to produce some of the goods that helped the rest of their family earn $65 million last year.

Shockingly, the impoverished workers earn just a paltry $1 an hour, with temperatures inside non-air-conditioned factories soaring to over 100˚F. Workers in the region can come out with as little as $15 a month once rent and food debts have been paid to their bosses.

“You can’t talk during working hour… You can’t listen to music; you can’t stand up and stretch. You can’t even put your head up and look around, or you will be screamed at. If you get permission to use the toilet, you get four minutes. If you’re highly specialized, you cannot even go to the bathroom.”

The allegations about Kardashian products in this post have nothing to do with their products sold at Sears.

See, this is exactly why you don’t want to get your associate’s at the Kathie Lee Gifford School of Business.

At the Kardashian Khaos store at the Mirage Hotel & Casino in Vegas last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Mediatakeout.com reported today that then-married Kris Humphries had been caught partying with two blondes in his and wife Kim Kardashian’s New York apartment while she was out of town, and they even posted evidence in the form of pics and video from Twitter user claiming to be one of the girls involved. But if you look closer at the pics, you’ll note something is amiss, and I’m not just talking about that one girl’s teeth. Anyway, you see it yet? Nine MSN says:

Surprise, surprise, cameras were rollin’ the whole time.

In the background of one of the Twitter pics, there’s a very large, very visible production camera filming the whole incident. So this leads [us] to ask: ‘is the entire ‘cheating’ scandal a set-up for their hit show, Kourtney & Kim Take New York?’

We wouldn’t put it past the K-Klan!

Ah, so E! scripted her husband’s affair, just like they scripted their marriage and their divorce and her sister’s inevitable miscarriage. They’ll probably schedule the D&C miscarriage to coincide with the anniversary of her father’s death. Nothing’s fucking sacred to those people.

Now that the whole of America has been infiltrated by the Kardashian posse, Kim is taking the stank to Australia. Trouble is, she naturally thinks that she is exempt from following the rules, and has landed herself on the Aussie shit list. Sears should have considered the international implications before exporting a known pestilence to a friendly nation. That shit is likely to start a war. Digital Spy reports,

Kim Kardashian has been added to an official Aussie immigration ‘watch list’ after breaching the conditions of her visa application three times.

The US reality television star, who recently visited Australia as a special guest of the Melbourne Cup Derby Day and to launch her handbag range, reportedly only applied for a tourist visa when she was in fact in the country for work reasons.

A subsequent investigation has since found that Kardashian’s two previous visits to the country in 2007 and 2010 were also for business purposes but were only supported by holiday visas.

The Department of Immigration’s official statement published by the Herald Sun read: “If people are undertaking work in Australia, they need to be on an appropriate visa with work conditions attached to it.

“If people do breach conditions, then the department can counsel them or cancel that person’s visa… and the department may record their breaches and immigration history. Their history would be taken into account if they apply for another visa to enter Australia.”

To be fair to Kim, I don’t think she’s ever worked a day in her life, unless it has to do with working dick, that is. She heard “go Down Under” and she got confused. It’s perfectly reasonable, when you think about it.

Hawking her Kardashian Kollection line of bags with The Incredible Hulk:

Latest diversion for the Kardashian Kamp: Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband Kris Humphries is gay! But is it really Kris Humphries… or just an evil twin masquerading as Kris Humprhies? Could he be possessed by the devil? Suffering from amnesia? Or any one of various other soap opera cliches? The Examiner says:

The headline of this week’s edition of Star magazine reads “Kim’s Bombshell: KRIS IS GAY!” [and] includes the teasers: “He wouldn’t touch her after the honeymoon,” “WHAT KHLOE SAW,” and “NOW Kris vows to DESTROY the Kardashians!”

I was gonna call bullshit on this and pin it all on Kris Jenner’s PR machinations, but then I came across this picture. Yes, that’s a kashmere kardigan. The only heterosexual man who would ever be caught in a cashmere fucking cardigan is Mr. Rogers. Plus the man spells his name with a K. He probably dots the I’s with little hearts, too.

The City of Los Angeles Mission finally found something more bland than the soup and dirtier than the homeless to serve on Thanksgiving. Well played, Commissioner!

Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Love Hewitt at a totally staged publicity shot Thanksgiving day:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

After her 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries turned made her a complete laughingstock, Kim Kardashian sicced her “sources” on the tabloids in an attempt to convince the stupid twats that watch her show that she was the real victim in all this. Us Magazine says:

Kardashian’s hubby soaked up the perks of being married to one of the most successful reality stars ever — staying out late at clubs in NYC and L.A., and demanding free bottle service and more wherever he went.

Even worse? He could be downright cruel to Kardashian, 31. “He belittled her in front of people,” one insider [said]. “He’d call her stupid. It was truly sickening. He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.”

He even took exception to her world-famous posterior, calling her “fat ass,” the source says.

Well she IS stupid and fat-assed and talentless and her fifteen minutes should have been over two years ago. It’s sad when Kris Humprhies is the smart one in your relationship