Lindsay Lohan was photographed “necking” with rumored girlfriend Samantha Ronson at P. Diddy’s yacht party in Cannes yesterday. The Sun says

In one shot Lindsay nuzzles the DJ’s neck, while in another they’re holding hands leaving at 5:30 a.m. A fellow guest said: “They looked like proper lovebirds. And they didn’t care who saw them draped over each other.”

Rumours that Lindsay and Samantha were lovers started last year.

In Lindsay’s defense, it’s pretty hard to resist the call of a pork pie hat. Next to a heartfelt ballad played on the didgeridoo or a your collection of mint-condition Star Wars action figures, it’s practically the only thing guaranteed to moisten a girl’s panties. Well, maybe a good kick in the bladder, too. But that’s just not as sexy.

Yielding to the pork pie call in at Dolce & Gabbana in Cannes:

Britney Spears has been getting an awful lot of attention lately, so Paris Hilton decided to swing the limelight her way with a fake lesbian make-out session with “House of Wax” co-star Elisha Cuthbert. Page Six says

Revelers at Tenjune in the Meatpacking District Tuesday night spotted Paris making out with “24″ star Elisha Cuthbert. “They were drinking and dancing, and all of suddenly they just started kissing,” said the onlooker who told us the liplock lasted “about a minute.” Cuthbert’s rep denies the story, although several witnesses confirmed they saw the face-suck.

That’s one of those things that sounds sexy until you get up close. Sorry, but those two are just gross. Paris Hilton looks like a combination of the Goon from Popeye and claymation Gumby and Elisha Cuthbert might as well be my seventh grade gym teacher with that haircut. It’s just like that time I rented this flick called “From Pole to Pole” and ended up with a documentary about the Earth’s inconstant magnetic field instead of the penis-fest I was expecting. Needless to say, I won’t be hitting up PBS for porn anymore. That goes double for the Discovery Channel and TLC. “Wild Down Under” my ass.

Paris arriving at the TRL Tuesday and Elisha shopping at Bristol Farms over the weekend: