Sasquatch impersonator Khloé Kardashian will be marrying L.A. Lakers forward and boyfriend of one month Lamar Odom this upcoming weekend. According to Star Magazine

Khloé Kardashian sure isn’t one to waste time — she’s set to marry her boyfriend of only one month on Sunday!

Why the rush? The attention-grabbing nuptials talk is timed nicely with the debut of his new clothing line and airing of her reality show.

Well, I’ll be damned. All it takes to make Khloe Kardashian look feminine is to put her next to a six-foot ten-inch 230-pound black guy with mitts the size of tennis racquets and arms like a silverback gorilla. Mel B really might want to look into getting one of those for herself.

At Katsuya with Lamar last week:

Prepare for the coming of the Antichrist — the Great Satan, Jr. is knocked up! Us Magazine says

Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant.

The E! reality star, 30, is not revealing the father’s identity or how far along she is… [and] refused to say if she and ex-boyfriend Scott Disick were back together.

“You’re going to have to see on the show,” she said, referring to her new reality show with sister Khloe, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, which debuts Sunday.

Oh, I have a hunch who the father is. He embodies all that is evil and will usher in a seven year reign of death and destruction at the dawning of the End of Days. Isn’t it obvious? I’m talking about my stepdad. You’re not the boss of me, Ted!

In Miami with Bigfoot in a sarong:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin