If there’s one thing NY Yankee Alex Rodriguez can’t pass up — other than a syringe full of testosterone, that is — it’s a good tranny whore. Kristin Davis, the she-male Manhattan madam who supplied disgraced New York governor Eliot Spitzer with hookers, claims A-Rod was her loyal customer over a span of several years. The NY Daily News says

Davis met Rodriguez in June of 2006 in a gym in Philadelphia, shortly after she opened a branch of her call-girl service [there].

Davis told a friend the then-married Rodriguez asked her, “What are you doing tonight?”

“I said, ‘I’m having dinner with my boyfriend. But if you’re looking for someone to hang out with, here’s a number.’ I gave him my agency’s card.”

That night, Davis told a friend, Rodriguez booked a two-hour “date” with one of her girls. Rodriguez soon became a repeat customer of one of Davis’ three Manhattan agencies. Two former employees said [that] A-Rod hired prostitutes more than a half-dozen times, often meeting them at the Four Seasons hotel on W. 57th St.

An an an e-mail exchange between Kristin and A-Rod provided by a former booker for Wicked Models proves that Rodriguez then began dating the madam while he was still married:

Rodriguez: “Thanks for setting me up with Samantha. She was gorgeous. But she is not you. When can I see you you are gorgeous . . .”

Davis: “Hi Alex. You don’t want to see me. I’m no fun. lol. Just because your (sic) so sweet, here are some pics of me and I appreciate the compliments. Your (sic) a doll. Thanks, Kristin”

Rodriguez: “You have been playing hard to get for a year now, your (sic) killing me.”

Davis: “It’s not playing I am hard to get. Maybe you should try harder.”

Rodriguez: “Kristin, I definitely will and I love the pics. I put the one on my cell so I can look at you all the time. Alex.”

Davis: “You are too sweet. I’ll let you know when I get someone you like.”

Rodriguez: “My sexy blonde girl. When can I see you again? I am addicted to you. Did you get the flowers I sent?”

Rodriguez’ persistence is said to have paid off with the buxom, 32-year-old Davis. Though Davis’ agencies typically charged clients more than $1,000 an hour, Davis told a friend: “Alex didn’t pay me… I went out with him just because he was so flattering. I couldn’t not give in.”

Davis told a friend she and Rodriguez grew apart “when he found out I had a new boyfriend. He got upset. What was I supposed to do? He was married.”

Well, you know what they say about dipping your “pen” in the “company ink” — you can dip all you want, but that don’t mean you can use your wiener to sign a check. People get all “freaked out” when you do. Definitely something to think about, Alex.

Hi guys and dolls, it’s Sonya today. Any of you men (or women) wonder how much you’d have to shell out to bang your favorite celebrity lust? Well wonder no more, because Kristin Davis, infamous New York madam to former Govenor Eliot Spitzer, has put together a price list of her top ten female celebrities. Gawker gives sets out the list:

1. Britney Spears: If she cleaned herself up maybe I could get a thousand dollars an hour for her. But if was the old Britney before she went crazy I could have gotten $2,000 easy.
2. Paris Hilton: She would get $1,500 an hour. She’s slender and doesn’t have implants. She’s blonde and I could get away with selling her as a Ford model.
3. Beth Ostrosky: I like Beth. She’s tall and blonde. It’s always a homerun if I can get a girl who’s 5′9” or above. She’s usually perfect. Beth would be in the upper ranking. I could get $2,000 an hour for her easy.
4. Katie Holmes: Katie would be very popular because she has that All American, college girl look. She would be super popular. Men want girls who look like Howard Stern’s wife; the tall slender model type or they want that non-flashy, classically beautiful fresh face young look. The girl next door whom they could never get. They want the runway model they can’t have now, or the prom queen they couldn’t have then. I could probably get $2,500 an hour for Katie. Maybe even $3,000. I could max out on her.
5. Angelina Jolie: She would be my top girl. I call it my “Number one.” I would put her at $2,000 an hour. But you couldn’t get her unless you booked her for 4 hours. I wouldn’t let her go for just an hour. Maybe if you were a good client you could get her for an hour, but I would charge a lot more. At least $2,500.
6. Sarah Palin: (Laughs) I wouldn’t have any market for her. She couldn’t work for me. She’s cute, but not for my kind of clients. There are escort agency’s that specialize in specific kinds of demographics. She could work for a cheaper agency. Maybe a $300 dollar an hour type agency. I would call her a mid-range escort type.
7. Playboy Playmates: I had many Playmates call me for work. Many! I’m talking about centerfolds. But I would only work with 1 out of 5. Usually, they’re boobs are too big or too fake looking. They look to California. For the most part I wouldn’t use Playmates.
8. Lindsay Lohan: She would do great! She’s got that fresh face and freckles. Men would eat her up! I could get $1,800 an hour for Lindsay….Easy! I would let her go for just the hour. She would work more volume for me. Short stays and busy all night. But I’m sure I could get clients to extend time with her if I asked.
9. Rihanna: I think she is stunning and gorgeous. If I were a client I would choose her. But honestly, I don’t have a market for her. She couldn’t work for me. It’s unfortunate. The African American and Asian models never do well. Rihanna wouldn’t bring in any business for me.
10. Melania Trump: She’s hot. She would make a lot of money. But the one problem with her is that men don’t like Jewish women and eastern European women. So I would have to lie about her nationality. Maybe say she’s from Amsterdam or Sweden. Otherwise she would have trouble getting work. I would also change her name. I could get $2,000 an hour for her if she played along and didn’t let it slip where she’s from.

Soooo….I wonder how much Kristin would charge for her own services? I’m sure there’s a demographic for a transvestite burn victim with reconstructive plastic surgery, but can it be that in demand?

My psychotic instincts may have been a little off yesterday, because it turns out that mock-turtlenecked and be-Burberried-dog-flanked “Sex and the City” star Kristin Davis is in fact the one gobbling a wiener in the picture in yesterday’s post. However, technically, I’m still right, because there isn’t any sex tape — just a slew of naked photos sold by an angry ex-boyfriend. TMZ says

The photos were snapped in 1992 by an ex-boyfriend. We’re told the ex-boyfriend was pissed at Kristin and then sold the photos to a third party.The third party got involved in a business venture with another guy and we’re told that guy pilfered the pics and they ended up online.

Being the classy and distinguished site that we are, I can’t post lewd nekkid pictures here. I can, however, link them. For instance, you could look at this mother-of-God-in-the-name-of-all-that-is-holy NSFW picture here, or you could just look at this picture of a sea squirt and not get fired from your job. They basically look the same. And (NSFW) this? What this fuck is (NSFW) this? I don’t know whether to throw up or touch myself. I guess I could do both, just to save time. It can be just like my wedding night all over again, only with less crying and threatening to kill myself.

An explicit photo of what is believed to be “Sex and the City” star Kristin Davis tongue-bathing some fat guy’s wiener made its way online yesterday. The source of the photo claims the picture is actually a screen cap from the actress’ soon-to-be-available sex tape, but I find that a little hard to swallow¹ because A) Kristen dresses her dogs in little sweaters, as evidenced above, and B) anyone who starred in two Tim Allen flicks back-to-back is clearly into masochism and not your run of the mill fellatio. There should be doilies and cat figurines and maybe a gimp mask somewhere in the background. It just doesn’t add up.

¹_{Pun intended!}

See the NSFW photo made magically LSFW via my mad Photoshop skillz after the jump.

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Are you prepared to get “Carried away” this way May? Yeah, me neither. The official Sex and the City movie trailer finally arrived online today. To be honest, I liked this movie better when it was called “Golden Girls” and aired in syndication on the Lifetime Network. This version has way too many Blanche Deverauxs. It’s like watching those women in television commercials who sit around the table discussing the trouble with their brand-name denture adhesives/irregularity/bone density talking about waxing their beavers and doing anal instead. In New Line’s defense, “cinema gold” and “cinema old” sound a lot alike. Of course, so does “cinema gold” and “enema mold,” but that doesn’t always translate to a box office success, either.

Kristin Davis was photographed on the set of the Sex and the City movie yesterday, wearing a prosthetic pregnant belly — as it seems her character, “the least ugly one” is knocked up in the upcoming film. Oh, whoops — I guess I should have issued a “spoiler alert” to all of the gay men and lonely 45 year old women out there reading. Sorry, but the only thing that could possibly make me give an iota of a shit about the plot of this movie is if Kristen Davis has got a killer mutant baby brewing in there that goes on a killing spree moments after birth, bloodily killing the entire cast. Starting with Sarah Jessica Parker.

More photos after the jump in which (spoiler alert!) no one is messily eviscerated. Unfortunately.

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