So now that Miley Cyrus’ pantless-blazer getup is out of the way, we can talk about who actually won at the Billboard Music Awards last night. Let’s see — um, there’s Taylor Swift… she’s clearly holding some sort of trophy in that picture, so she must have won something. Probably Best Country Artist or Song of the Year or Most Photogenic, if only because Most Disappointingly Not-See-Through Lace Dress isn’t a Billboard Music Award category. Unfortunately, I’d already uploaded all the Taylor Swift pictures and downloaded Temple Run before I realized there wasn’t a nipslip in the whole bunch, so my hands were effectively tied here. I blame the industry.

This see-through Givenchy monstrosity is what Beyonce chose to wear to last night’s Met Gala. Puppeteers estimate that at least thirty Fraggles had to die in order for that dress to be made. I’m just glad Jim Henson’s not alive to see this.

Sienna Miller attended the Lancel Dinner on the Champ-Elysees in Paris Thursday night in what appeared in the thumbnails to be a sexy see-through lace dress. It wasn’t till I’d already paid for the pics and uploaded them that I realized it had one of those stupid nude pantyhose liners and you couldn’t see shit. I don’t know who was more disappointed — me, when I didn’t see any nipples, or your parents, when you weren’t a stillborn. Sorry, that’s just the holiday rage talking again. Be glad you’re out of range of my pepper spray.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Well, I’ll be damned. You can do something with sheer red lace other than hang it from an antebellum whorehouse window. Scarlett O’Hara could really learn a thing or two from Lady Gaga.

“Performing” at New York’s Fashion Week yesterday, plus some of her drunk at the VMA’s afterparty: