Aug 9, 2010
The 2010 Teen Choice Awards happened last night and will air on Fox tonight at 8pm, in case you’re into wasting your time. Having awards handed out by teens means that shitty movies like The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, and Jennifer’s Body get picked. If you’re interested in how many awards Justin Bieber got, and other reasons you should weep for the future generation, you can check out the whole awards list here. It being the Teen Choice Awards also means that there were a lot of people I have never heard of, but here’s some that I do recognize:
Kristen Bell:
Cat Deeley is a freaking giraffe and I wouldn’t even reach her shoulders:
I had no idea who Destinee & Paris were, so I looked them up and Wikipedia describes them as: “Destinee & Paris (formerly known as Clique Girlz and Clique) are an American girl group consisting of sisters Destinee and Paris Monroe.” I think I just died a little inside. Plastic girl on the left seems to have shiny boobs and is possibly wearing a body stocking.
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Jun 23, 2010
Sasquatch Khloe Kardashian, being a famous nobody, probably Googles herself all day long, since she didn’t miss out on the rumors that she used her boyfriend’s money to buy him a gift. Says Digital Spy,
Khloe Kardashian has slammed rumors that she did not use her own money to pay for husband Lamar Odom’s new car.
The 25-year-old purchased the $400,000 Rolls Royce for Odom as a gift to celebrate the Los Angeles Lakers’ NBA Finals win.
“People r so pathetic (sic),” she wrote on her Twitter page.
“Y would I give some1 a gift w/ their money? That’s lame. I actually make my own money. Shocking I know. Stop hating!”
Kardashian’s mother Kris Jenner described the vehicle as a “drop top coupe, white on white”.
It is shocking to me that she makes her own money. It’s shocking to me that anyone would pay her money to follow her around with a camera. I’m shocked that someone hasn’t paid to have her pummeled with a camera. I’m also shocked that at 25, she can’t manage to write in complete sentences. It kind of takes the oomph out of calling someone ‘pathetic’ when you have the grammar of an 11 year old. I no u r but wht am I!
Leaving Boa Steakhouse on Sunday, sporting what looks like a stain on her boobs:
Jan 18, 2010
Khloe Kardashian (The Tall One) wants you to call her Mrs. Odom now. From Star:
What’s in a name? Apparently a lot if you are Khloé Kardashian — or should we say, Mrs. Kardashian-Odom.
That’s right, Khloe — who married basketball player Lamar Odom in September — has decided she wants everyone to refer to her by her new name Khloé Kardashian-Odom.
In fact, when Khloe was in talks to host the AXECYB.com party at the Sundance Film Festival later this month, “Khloé stressed she wants all of the invites, press releases and tip sheets to include her married name,” a source tells Star. “She also said while in public everyone is to refer to her as Mrs. Kardashian-Odom.”
Whatever, lady. I’ll call you what I want, and you’ll just have to consider yourself lucky that I’m only calling you The Tall One, and not something like The Large Retarded One.
Nov 6, 2009
Ugh. That Other Kardashian (not the preggo and not the one with the ass; the Amazonian one) went on Chelsea Handler’s show with her pretend husband, and this ridiculous shit happened:
They got married just a month after they met, and now just another month later, Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian look to be wasting little time taking another big step.
Appearing on E!’s Chelsea Lately, Kardashian, 25, was asked by host Chelsea Handler if she was pregnant yet, like sister Kourtney.
It was Odom who answered: “Soon.”
“You planning on having a baby soon?” Handler asked. “You want to do that right away?”
“I do,” said Odom, 30.
And Kardashian’s answer? “Okay,” she says.
Look, I don’t really care if two clinically retarded people whore themselves and their fake TV marriage out to anyone who will listen so they can make easy money and never have to get real jobs. I mean, it’s cheap and disgusting, but so is most of Hollywood so I just can’t be bothered to get worked up about it. But please, for the love of all that is holy, can’t the fates intervene and somehow arrange it so these two get trapped in an industrial sized microwave for approximately eight hours, or however long it might take to fully irradiate their reproductive organs? I really feel like that’s not a lot to ask, here.
Leaving the E! studios after their appearance on Chelsea Lately:
Sep 29, 2009
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s wedding this past weekend was all for show (specifically, for her show), because it turns out the two aren’t actually legally married at all — and they won’t be until they can agree on a prenup. C’est l’amour! TMZ says
Two high-powered family law attorneys are already squaring off, trying to hash out the prenup Odom wants as a condition to marriage. The negotiations — which began last Friday — are already contentious.
Our sources say the couple will tie the knot — legally — once the prenup is inked.
Or they could just go ahead and get the divorce papers rolling while they’re there. You know, save everybody involved a little time and legal fees when this all blows up in their faces.
At their rehearsal dinner:
