Britney Spears wrapped up her Femme Fatale world tour in Puerto Rico on Saturday with a onstage lap dance for resident Jersey Shore douchenozzle Pauly D. God, I hate that asswipe. Just look at his stupid smarmy face. And the hair. Jesus Christ, the hair. Paint him green and he’s Archibald Asparagus from fucking Veggie Tales.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
“Jersey Shore” star Pauly D got an onstage lap dance from Britney Spears during the Montreal performance of her Femme Fatale tour last night. The Daily Mail says:
The 29-year-old dragged up Jersey Shore star Pauly D onstage to give the shocked star a lap dance.
Pauly, 31, who was DJing before and after the show last night, was beckoned up onto the stage by the star as she sang the steamy Leather And Lace from her Circus album.
I don’t know what video they’re talking about, but in the video I saw, Britney Spears doesn’t give Pauly D a lap dance. Britney Spears’ dancers give Pauly D a lap dance. Half of whom were dudes in fishnets. It’s only slightly less embarrassing than the night hooked up with Deena.
Britney giving another dude a “lap dance” in Chicago earlier this month:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
There was no shortage of entertainment on hand at Rihanna’s 22nd birthday last week, unless you count the midget stripper in the leather corset. Nine MSN says
Rihanna’s new boyfriend Matt Kemp the idea to present her with a frisky little person stripper for her birthday.
“Bridget the Midget” performed a raunchy dance for Rhi at her birthday party in Arizona and according to other party guests, Rihanna absolutely loved the kooky gift.
“She thought it was funny,” says a friend.
“Funny” is a fat person being dragged face-first through the sand while still attached to a parasail. A half-naked dwarf wielding a riding crop is not funny. It’s like something from a Stephen King novel. All she needs is a twin and a tricycle and she’d make Pennywise the Clown look like the goddamn Easter Bunny.
In case you wanted to breakfast in reverse this morning: The Sun says
Fueled by the local rum, Amy Winehouse [and] her lover Josh Bowman… broke a bed and lamp in her room during a weekend pillow fight that got out of hand. By the time security arrived, she had stripped off to her birthday suit and was giving Josh a lap dance.
I tried to think of something worse, like emptying an old person’s bedpan or abcesses with maggots in them, but nothing seemed as bad as a naked lap dance from Amy Winehouse. Suffice it to say I would rather wear Roseanne Barr’s ass like a hat while skipping rope with a cobra.
More of Amy topless because I hate you:
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