The National Enquirer got its hands on some pics of John Travolta in full drag at an L.A. party back in 1997, exactly six years after he’d married current wife Kelly Preston. Yeeeah… you do the math. The Daily Mail says:

The magazine claims that his wife of over twenty years has left him in the wake of his cross-dressing scandal.

A ‘friend’ of the actress’ says: “Kelly told me their marriage is over and made it clear that she’s no longer living in the family home.”

“She’s put up with John’s double life for decades while his behavior remained in the shadows… but all this coming out in public has humiliated her. Kelly is absolutely destroyed.”

I don’t know what should upset Kelly more — the gay sexual assault lawsuits, the cross-dressing, or the fact that he starred in and help produce “Battlefield Earth.” That’s like approaching the American public anus-first. You never fully recover from that.

One of the formerly anonymous John Does who filed a sexual assault lawsuit against John Travolta earlier this month has been revealed, and he’s not a pilates-sculpted blonde with a Castilian lisp and a hairless chest — he’s the huge, hulking 250-pound black guy in the photo above. The New York Daily News says:

John Truesdale — formerly known only as John Doe No. 2 — is a beefy 6-footer with massive arms. He’s a certified nail technician [and] a licensed massage therapist.

So now we know without a doubt that John Travolta’s the catcher in the relationship. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to gouge out my mind’s eye with a juice glass full of gin and some pills I found in my grandma’s medicine cabinet.

Ashley Olsen in a bikini in Maui, even though her tits are smaller than John Travolta’s:

The sexual assault and battery lawsuit that Masseur Number 2 filed against John Travolta last week won’t be going to trial, not because it’s baseless and without merit, but because both he and Travolta have agreed the case should be heard in mediation. And what does mediation entail, exactly? I’m glad you asked. Radar Online says:

“Both sides will agree to keep all transcripts sealed, as well as all witness statements, depositions, etc. The lawsuit will be heard by a private judge, who will decide how much money if any the accuser will receive. All of the proceedings will be strictly confidential.

This is done for a plethora of reasons, mainly, this will allow the masseur’s identity from being made public, and it would just be a media circus if it did go to trial. This will be the best way for the case to be heard with minimal disruption to John Travolta and the masseur’s life.”

And just as a recap, masseur number 2′s suit alleges:

While working at an unspecified resort in Atlanta, January 28, 2012, Doe Plantiff No. 2 did an in-room massage on Travolta, as the massage came to an end “Travolta suddenly turned on his stomach with his legs wide open with a full erection. He then tried to force Doe Plaintiff No. 2′s hand on Travolta’s scrotum.

Then, Travolta started to grab, rub and caress Doe Plaintiff no. 2′s upper thighs and buttocks….Travolta still had an erection and wanted his abdominals done, but Travolta’s erection was in the way and he refused to have his penis covered by a sheet of a pillow case cover…Travolta started masturbating about 15 minutes left in the session, and Doe Plaintiff No.2, said he had to go.”

It’s a tale as old as time. Boy meets man, man gets massage, man tries to make boy touch his scrotum and then jerks off when boy refuses. I think we’ve all been to sleep-away camp before.

To un-gay this post, some candids Sports Illustrated covergirl Kate Upton took during her SI shoot:

A former Royal Caribbean employee has also come forward with allegations that John Travolta sexually harassed him back in 2009 when Travolta was passenger on the cruise ship on which he worked. That now makes THREE dudes, for those of you keeping count. Radar Online says:

Fabian Zanzi was in charge of VIP guests [on the cruise ship] when the alleged incident took place. Zanzi told a South American news site that Travolta said, “He had something on his neck. I thought it was a fuzz. As I approached, he took off his white coat and was naked. He hugged me and asked me to do a massage.” Zanzi alleges that Travolta offered $12,000 to have sex with him, but he says he refused.

According to media reports, Zanzi has [also] filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Travolta.

The way that scene went in my head, Travolta was wearing a full-length white leather duster and marabou heels, smoking a Virginia Slim through a cigarette holder while fanning himself coquettishly on a pink velveteen French armchair. Which just goes to show that sometimes, imagination isn’t better than knowledge. Albert Eisntein and those posters at the library are full of shit.

John Travolta is denouncing the lawsuit massuer number 1 filed against him on Monday by providing the above photograph and time-stamped receipt (below) to TMZ that “prove” that he was in New York on the day in question. And who doesn’t just happen to have photos and receipts from four months ago lying around the their house? That’s not suspect at all! TMZ says:

Travolta sources say they have proof positive of the location and date of the photo — New York, January 16.

And there’s more … a receipt from a meal Travolta ate at Mr. Chow in New York also on January 16th.

Besides the fact that the photo is an OBVIOUS photoshop — seriously, I could have done a better job with fucking scissors and a glue stick — you’ll note that his name isn’t anywhere on the receipt, nor is it signed. And even if it were signed, the time stamp on the receipt says 11:38 p.m. EST, which by no means accounts for the rest of his whereabouts that day. He’s a pilot and flies his own planes, so he could’ve flown him from L.A. to New York as late as 2 p.m. Pacific Time and still had time to make it back to New York for a late dinner and a time-stamped receipt. The only thing this shit proves is that John Travolta is terrible at photoshop and math.

Monday John Travolta had a lawsuit filed against him by a male masseur who claimed the actor sexually assaulted him during a session, and wouldn’t you know it, Tuesday started off the very same way for John, except with a different male masseur and a whole new set of disgusting details. I smell a scandal of Tiger Woods proportions here, folks! Radar Online says:

According to the lawsuit… the second victim alleges that while working at an unspecified resort in Atlanta, Georgia on January 28, 2012, he did an in-room massage on Travolta.

The documents state that the Plaintiff doesn’t normally do in-room massages and asked a co-worker to take the assignment, but he declined because “Travolta has been banned from a spa that the coworker used to work at in Los Angeles.”

On the morning of the massage, the lawsuit alleges, Travolta had “a strange demeanor, bloodshot eyes and climbed onto the already setup massage table…Travolta removed the entire sheet from his body, and he claimed the sheets were sticky and could not tolerate the heat…Travolta further indicated that he likes a lot of ‘Glutes’ work meaning a massage on his buttocks…While he was massaging near Travolta’s buttocks area, Travolta would open his legs and spread his butt cheeks open and had a full erection and would maneuver in a way to try to force Doe Plaintiff No. 2 to touch his anus and around his anus.”

Jesus Christ. Approaching a guy anus-first is certainly a bold maneuver, but I can’t imagine a whole lot worse than getting an eyeful of John Travolta with his ass cheeks spread. I bet it looks like the Sarlacc in the Great Pit of Carkoon, except with wads of moist black hair where the teeth and tentacles should be.

VS model Candice Swanepoel in a thong bikini to assuage the horrible mental picture I just seared into your brain:

Of course his camp is claiming it’s all bullshit, but John Travolta found himself on the business end of a lawsuit today after a male masseur he’d hired claimed the actor attempted to have sex with him during a session. No, the male masseur was not Tom Cruise in a pair of kitten heeels and a Rita Hayworth wig, but still a good guess anyway. TMZ says:

According to the lawsuit, Travolta saw the masseur’s ad online, and scheduled an appointment for $200 an hour. The masseur did not know it was Travolta when the appointment was booked, but followed instructions and met up with a black Lexus SUV, which Travolta was driving.

Travolta and the masseur, who says he saw Trojan condoms in the center console, drove to the Beverly Hills Hotel and went to Travolta’s bungalow.

Travolta stripped naked, appearing semi-erect. The masseur says he told Travolta to lay down on the table and the first hour went without incident. Then, according to legal docs, Travolta began rubbing the masseur’s leg, touched his scrotum and the shaft of his penis.

The masseur claims he told Travolta he did not have sex with his clients, but Travolta was undeterred, offering to do a “reverse massage,” adding, “Come on dude, I’ll jerk you off!!!”

The suit goes on to allege Travolta then masturbated and told the masseur he got to where he was “due to sexual favors he had performed when he was in his ‘Welcome Back Kotter’ days,” adding “Hollywood is controlled by homosexual Jewish men who expect favors in return for sexual activity.”

The masseur — who is only listed as John Doe — claims Travolta called him a loser, but then doubled the hourly rate and sent him on his way.

The suit seeks $2 million plus punitive damages.

If I had a nickel for every time I’d said, “Come on, dude, I’ll jerk you off” in order to keep some guy from leaving, I’d totally be a thousandaire by now. But on to more pressing things — things like how John Travolta’s wiener could be so completely unhampered by repeated rejections. I don’t see how you could be told no over and over again and still manage to maintain an erection. But then my last name’s not Roethlisberger or Polanski.

If your career as an aspiring actress isn’t going so well, you should always have a Plan B to fall back on. In the case of actress Amanda Jencsik, that would be suing an Oscar-winning screenwriter for $5 million for allegedly forcing her to have rough sex. Says Mail Online,

An Oscar-winning screenwriter strangled a young actress with his belt during sadistic sex, she claims in a $5million lawsuit filed yesterday.

Amanda Jencsik, 26, says she feared for her life during an abusive four-month relationship with Moonstruck writer John Patrick Shanley, who is 35 years her senior.

Miss Jencsik alleges the 61-year-old would slap her and hold his hands over her mouth and neck during their encounters at his Manhattan apartment.

The writer often asked her if she felt like he was raping her, the suit says.

She claims their rough sex sessions were so violent that she believed Mr Shanley was trying to kill her, and says she grew light-headed when he wrapped the belt around her neck.

Brooklyn-born Miss Jencsik says she suffered severe physical and psychological trauma at the hands of the older man – but did not report him to the police ‘due to her mental state’, the New York Post reports.
Sal Strazzullo, the lawyer representing Miss Jencsik, said Mr Shanley had a ‘Svengali-like effect’ on the aspiring actress, which kept her from severing ties.

Mr Shanley, who wrote the 1987 Cher film and also adapted the plane crash survival drama Alive in 1993, said he knew nothing of the lawsuit when it was filed yesterday.

Miss Jencsik’s statement says the pair met via Facebook in October 2009, with Mr Shanley striking up the correspondence by asking her about her hair colour.

They did not meet in person until a dinner date in January 2010, she claims.

The 26-year-old alleges that, after a second date later that month, she followed Mr Shanley to his apartment and they had sex.

He invited her back the next day but was not home when she arrived, the suit says.

When he eventually showed up he was drunk, Miss Jencsik alleges, and once inside he ‘forcibly turned [her] over onto her stomach’ and sodomised her.

Though she told Mr Shanley he was hurting her he laughed, the suit says, and afterwards he complained that his sheets had been left stained with her blood and makeup.

The third and final time they had sex, she says, Mr Shanley sodomised her again – this time looping the belt around her throat.

After she split up with him in April 2010, Miss Jencsik claims, she was in pain but too scared to seek medical help. The lawsuit adds that it took her a whole year to approach a doctor, who diagnosed her with a bowel obstruction.

I just love it when women do stupid things like stay in a abusive relationship, and chalk it up to a mental health issue. The issue isn’t mental health, it’s just that you happen to be a fucking retard. Don’t minimize the struggles people with real mental health issues go through just because you’re trying to whore your way into the movie industry and get buyer’s remorse when your shit gets pushed in.

And now for someone who made it in the industry without suing someone: the lovely Kate Beckinsale in a photoshoot for LA Times Magazine.

Kim Kardashian has decided to take legal action against the woman who flour-bombed her on the red carpet at the launch of her True Reflection perfume last week. Digital Spy says:

Kardashian revealed: “Now that I think about it and had some time to digest it, I think, ‘What if that was some other substance? What if that person had a dangerous weapon?’ It’s scary. And what’s even scarier is this woman acted as if she was a part of the press. She just came out of nowhere!”

Kardashian went on to say that she doesn’t want other people to think they can get away with other protests of this kind. “I’m gonna definitely deal with it because it is not acceptable,” she added.

Oh, so it’s okay when a black guy sprays her in the face with white stuff, but not when an Asian woman does it. That’s racism!

Although Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry claimed in court last week that Nicollette Sheridan’s character was killed off because of budget restraints resulting from a decline in the show’s ratings and not because the he and Sheridan had a falling out, Sheridan’s attorney presented the court with a surprise voicemail from a “low-level ABC employee” who claimed to have “mistakenly received an email indicating that ABC was going to wipe all the hard drives clean to erase evidence of their intention to kill off her character Edie Britt on the show.” Dun dun DUN! Radar Online says:

[The voicemail said]: “I’m an employee of Desperate Housewives. I received an email soon after Nicollette filed suit; I think it was meant for a much narrower distribution, but it regarded having IT come in and wipe clean the hard drives of the producers in response to the correspondence that they’ve had email wise about firing Nicollette.

“Um, I think I got it by mistake; I believe they were going to have the Disney IT person come in to do the sweeping of the hard drive… that’s about all I know; you obviously can check this number and figure out who I am but I really don’t want to get involved.”

Mark and his partner Patrick Maloney want to have the employee called in as a witness, but the ABC lawyers contended this was “the first we’d heard of this,” to Judge Elizabeth Allen White and Tuesday is supposed to be the last day in the trial.

“I’m a real low level employee there and I shouldn’t have got that email, I’m on the general email list,” the staffer continued on the voicemail.

“But there was definitely a conspiracy to cover up the correspondence on email wise in regards to Nicollette.”

Last minute surprise witnesses? Dramatic court re-enactments? I’m still not entirely sure this isn’t just the script from season finale.

Leaving court with her attorney:

The Kardashian Klan is being sued for $5 million because, like everything that comes from that family, the diet pills they were hawking are Krap. Yeah, shocker, right? Says TMZ,

Kim Kardashian and her sisters waged a campaign of LIES when they claimed they got their rock hard bikini bodies from a diet pill called QuickTrim … this according to a new $5 MILLION lawsuit.

The point of the suit — a bunch of people in NY claim there’s no POSSIBLE way QuickTrim could’ve helped Kim, Khloe and Kourtney lose weight … because the main ingredient is caffeine. According to the suit, “The FDA has determined [caffeine] is not a safe or effective treatment for weight control.”

Enter the Kardashians … celebrity spokespeople who are featured on just about every single product QuickTrim sells.

According to the suit, filed in NY by Bursor & Fisher, the Kardashians fed lies to the public through commercials, magazines and social media since 2009 … like when Kim went on Twitter and said, “Our QuickTrim cleanse will be massive! Khloe has already lost so much weight.”

The plaintiffs claim they would NEVER have purchased the QuickTrim products if they would have known the truth … and claim the Kardashian testimonials were completely unsubstantiated.

Now, the Kardashians, QuickTrim and various companies that sold the products are being sued for more than $5 million in damages.

So far, no comment from the Kardashian camp.

I don’t know what’s more amusing about this article: That anyone would be idiotic enough to believe that the Kardashians aren’t all plastic surgery and Photoshop, that people would out themselves as said idiots, or that the Kardashian’s bodies are being described as rock-hard. Soft-boiled, yeah. Rock-hard–not so much.

Kim at QVC’s “Buzz on the Red Carpet Cocktail Party”:

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is finding himself in hot water after allegedly reneging on a deal with a clothing company. And no, it wasn’t a deal that he wouldn’t wear their clothing. I know, weird, right? Digital Spy says,

The Jersey Shore star and his brother received a $25,000 (£16,000) payment from Serious Pimp to promote their line of T-shirts on the MTV show and a variety of social media outlets, but failed to continue working with the brand.
TMZ reports that Serious Pimp launched the legal challenge in an effort to recoup the figure and obtain compensation from Sorrentino for lost profits.

Sorrentino and his brother were also given the opportunity to approve deigns for the garments, but “simply disappeared” with the money, according to the website.

Gee, you hand a sleazy greaseball wop a wad of cash and you’re surprised when he doesn’t hold up his end of the deal? I say you’re lucky if that’s all that happens. Normally I’d expect him to knock all the females in your family while he’s at it.

Emmy Rossum at the Showtime TCA party: