Five pics of a supposedly nude pre-Gossip Girl (and pre-nose job) Blake Lively surfaced this evening, and I’m inclined to believe they’re the real deal. A) The facial mole matches up, and B) it’s the same iPhone she was photographed with last year. Also, my grandma once told me if I believed in something hard enough, I could make it be. I think she was talking about me getting my GED, but I’m hoping it works for naked celebrity pictures, too.

UPDATE: Photos have been removed at the request of Blake Lively’s attorneys.

Just three months after hackers posted stolen photos of her on the interwebs, a shitload of “highly intimate photographs” of Christina Aguilera have reportedly been found on a digital storage card left in a French hotel. Radar Online says:

Fifteen of the images were taken on September 17, 2010 at Nicole Richie’s bachelorette bash in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

There are also several shots of 30-year-old Aguilera and [new boyfriend Matthew] Rutler… kissing passionately and laying in bed together.

Other images show:

* Aguilera with two naked men who appear to be strippers performing at another bachelorette party;

* Aguilera mimicking performing oral sex on an unidentified male who is holding a sex toy;

* Aguilera dancing on a table with friends at a private dinner;

* Aguilera mimicking an oral sex act on a chocolate covered banana at a theme park; and

* Aguilera posing for before-and-after make-up shots.

Aguilera would undoubtedly be worried that the images will appear on the internet like other photos of her did last December, showing the star in various stages of undress.

Radar Online has only seen about half of the reported “hundreds” of photos, so there’s always a chance some nekkid pics of Xtina could be forthcoming. I really doubt it, though. I’m assuming the rest are probably just shots of her building a straw house and denying the big bad wolf entry “by the hair of her chinny-chin-chins!”

I know that you, like me, have spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning, wondering if you’ll ever get to see Chris Brown’s wiener before you die. Well, the wait is over, my friends: Chris Brown’s wiener in all its pube-shorn NSFW entirety. I don’t like to call myself a hero or anything. I’m more of a modern day Robin Hood, robbing the rich to give to the wiener-less. Why else would I be carrying this 12th century bow and arrow in my laptop case?

NSFW video of the picture after the jump, or click the header for the good stuff.

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As a sarcastic follow-up to that previously unreleased photo of Rihanna taken the night then-boyfriend Chris Brown beat the living hell out of her, Media Take Out has released a new never-before-seen photo of the injury Chris Brown sustained the night in question. I guess that ruler there and the sad face he’s making means he’s supposed to have a busted lip. Just how it looks different from his lip every other day of the week is a mystery to me. What, a black guy with big lips? Well, I never! You could hit a black dude in the mouth with a brick and pound his nose flat into his face, and unless there’s blood, I’d just assume that’s what he already looked like to begin with.

Following in the skanky footsteps of Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus before her, some risque pictures of Disney star Demi Lovato pulling down her shirt and sticking her tongue in another girl’s face surfaced today. I don’t know what the hell’s going on at Disney here lately. At this rate, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised to see a video of the Imagination Movers gangbanging Daisy Duck before the year’s over.

You can click here to see Beardy up there chowing down on Ke$ha’s cooter, or you could just lay down on the sidewalk and have someone drop a phone book on your stomach from a couple stories up. The involuntary visceral reaction will be the same either way.

Have you ever said to yourself, “You know, there’s a startling absence of Kanye West dong in my life?” Well, your wait is almost over, dear readers! Radar Online says:

Kanye West has been embarrassingly caught with his pants down in a nude photo scandal.

The self-snapped pictures of the music icon’s private parts were reportedly sent to a number of women, and are now for sale and being shopped to various media outlets.

One image shows a nude Kanye from the chest up, while the second photo shows the singer’s genitals provocatively exposed from his boxer briefs.

I don’t know how one “provocatively” exposes their wiener. What, is it winking coyly at the camera? Giving its best come-hither stare? Wearing a see-through negligee and pouting? I guess if you’re Kanye West, even your genitals have to showboat.

As soon as the wiener pics make their way to the interwebs I’ll post them, but for now, enjoy these staged photos of Kanye conveniently “running into” Kim Kardashian while she films her stupid show in NY:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Former Jet quarterback Brett Favre allegedly sent photos of his wiener to former Jets reporter and Playboy pinup Jenn Sterger in an attempt to woo her back in 2008, but thanks to the miracle of the internet, you get to see his wiener, too. Three cheers for the Information Superhighway! Fox News says:

[There was also a] string of missives and voice mails in an attempt by the married Favre to charm buxom brunette beauty Jennifer Sterger, who is currently a co- host of “The Daily Line.”

The voice mails and MySpace messages — as well as three raunchy pictures of a man’s genitals — were posted in a cringe-inducing two-minute video on the sports blog Deadspin.com.

The gravelly voice caught on tape sounds remarkably like the quarterback propositioning Sterger, 26, a former Playboy pinup, in voice mails from 2008, when both were with [the Jets].

Note to Brett Farve: I’m not saying your wiener is small, but if your mitt is big enough to wrap around a regulation sized football, you might not want to grab your pee-pee with a hand that looks like a bunch of bananas. And who in the hell sends a picture of their flaccid (NSFW) penis anyway? A limp peen drooping to one side just looks sad and defeated, like a quarterback who just threw an overtime interception in a NFC playoff game.

See the video here, see his NSFW wiener here, here and here.

Ashley Greene (of the Twilight movies) went to a New Year’s party, and somehow the personal photos she took at the party ended up on the webernets.  Maybe because she’s an attention whore and she leaked them herself, or maybe one of her friends is a moneygrubbing backstabber who sold them, or JUST MAYBE it’s because you were a very good camper all last year and Santa brought you a belated surprise.  I guess Santa’s kind of a prude, though, because these pictures are really tame.  Or maybe Ashley learned her lesson after the last time some of her pictures got leaked, and now she keeps her clothes on.  I bet she even takes baths in footie pajamas.

A crew member put up several behind-the-scenes shots of Bar Rafaeli’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition shoot on Twitter today. The Daily Mail says

Bar Refaeli didn’t disappoint as she posed for the 2010 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition in several bikinis throughout the course of the day – and she looked fantastic in all of them.

The 24-year-old looked to be having a ball as she joked around with the crew during the shoot at an undisclosed location.

In one shot the model is pictured wearing huge sunglasses and in another she cheekily pulls down her bikini strap while posing with the magazine staff.

So gorgeous, smart, and self-effacing to boot? Some people might say she sounds like the perfect woman. Well, I beg to differ. I say sweaty, stubby and inconsolably bitter is where it’s at. Call me, boys!