Nude pictures of the “model” who is suing Steven Seagal for sexual assault have found their way onto the interwebs, as has a clip of her on a January 2009 episode of “The Tyra Banks Show” entitled “The Gay Kingdom” (clip after the jump). See if you can guess if this is gonna help her credibility at all. CBS says

[While on the Tyra Banks show], Kayden Nguyen claimed to be a “lipstick lesbian” who could manipulate any [man] she wanted.

She brags about how she can use her “sex appeal” and “trick any guy” into getting what she wants.

So she has a history of getting naked for money and using her sexuality to manipulate and deceive. I see. I guess if you can’t actually crawl up on the bench and take a dump on the witness stand, this would be the next best thing for you sexual assault case.

UPDATE: TMZ is now retracting their story and saying the girl pictured above is NOT Kayden Nguyen. However, it doesn’t change the fact that the mystery girl in the pictures is still naked. Therefore no further action is necessary.

Thumbs 1 & 2 (NSFW) are Kayden; the rest are Tila Tequila bogarting the stage at The Crazy Horse to promote her crappy new song “I Fuck the DJ.” I figure one cheap Asian’s as good as another:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin Online

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Pop singer Ke$ha may be the latest celebrity to have a sex tape leaked online. Her rep denies it, of course, but I’m not so sure. Nine MSN says

X-rated stills of the clip were posted on the website ZackTaylor.ca today, along with a post describing the footage as “what appears to be singer Ke$ha engaging in sexual intercourse and other fun stuff with an unknown man”.

The 23-year-old’s rep has put a sock in those rumors though, telling press, “This is not Ke$ha in the photos,” and forcing the website to remove the pics.

So if it’s not her, why force them to take down the pics? That’s like telling the police, “Oh, that’s not my car,” and then pulling the keys out of your purse so you can grab your Creedence CDs and your smokes out of the front seat before they haul it to impound. Dumbass.

In next month’s Maxim here, and the one song she’s famous for after the jump:

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You’ll finally get to see JWoww’s… um, “wow,” because nekkid pics of “Jersey Shore” star Jenni Farley are currently being shopped around to the highest bidder. According to Radar Online

The photos of Jwoww being shopped leave NOTHING to the imagination.

In one photo, she is facing the camera, topless. It’s shot from the waist up and will certainly not disappoint her male fans.

A second photo shows Jwoww slightly turned, but with her back mainly toward the camera. She is wearing a skimpy wrap around her waist but that does not obscure the rear view!

The third photo is a full length topless frontal shot, where Jwoww is again wearing a small wrap around her waist and boots.

Sounds good, but how will we be able to know that they are real, bonafide naked pics of a Jersey Shore cast member when we see them? There are a lot of convincing photoshop forgeries out there. Well, don’t you worry, boys and girls. That’s why I’m here. I did a little research and discovered there are several key ways to tell if your Jersey Shore naked pics are authentic.

THE TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR JERSEY SHORE NAKED PICS ARE AUTHENTIC

10. They leave an oily residue on your monitor

9. All the photos are watermarked with the letters “GTL”

8. When you click on the thumbnails, Ronnie comes out of nowhere and suckerpunches you in the back of the head

7. You aren’t sure if you’re looking at a cast member or a post-op tranny

6. After you look at them, you find a bowl of “haterade” under the bed

5. Snooki’s date puked on them

4. They come with the warning “May stain clothing or skin; wearing gloves is recommended.”

3. They smell like pickles

2. There’s a crazy Israeli girl with glasses hiding in the lower left hand corner

and the number one way to tell if your Jersey Shore naked pics are authentic:

1. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, well, then… it’s probably just the house phone. Hey, better luck next time!

Leaving LAX with the rest of the cast:

Arriving at L.A. hotspot Voyeur:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online, Bauer-Griffin Online

Cleveland Indians center fielder Grady Sizemore took a bunch of pictures of himself pawing at his wiener and sent them to ex-girlfriend (and Playboy Playmate) Brittany Binger, only somewhere along the way they went and ended up on the interwebs for the rest of the world to see. Perhaps now Major League Baseball will consider replacing the Golden Glove award with the Golden Sock award. There just aren’t enough accolades for masturbation in most professional sports. Unless you count ESPN constantly jerking off Notre Dame and USC during football season.

Although she made a living off of being naked, reality star (?) Tila Tequila doesn’t want you watching her “stolen” sex tape. According to TMZ

Just days after she Ustreamed herself in a naked rant, a new XXX video surfaced on a porn site called 4tube.com featuring Tila in a very compromising adult position with a naked man.

Tila doesn’t know why the video is surfacing now, but she claims it was ripped from a laptop that she reported stolen roughly two years ago — and now she’s threatening to sue the site for posting the clip.

The only thing surprising about this is that it’s been this long without a Tila Tequila sex tape on the interwebs. I just assumed she already had one or twenty of ‘em out there. Didn’t you? It’s like finding out the Hanukkah Fairy isn’t Jewish or that your mom isn’t a whore. Okay, okay — settle down — geez, I’m just being facetious here. Everybody already knows your mom’s a whore. I was just using that as a frame of reference.

You can watch an NSFW 8 second preview clip here.

UPDATE: Now with unintentionally hilarious video of her taking out a chair during a live Ustream striptease!

All thumbs NSFW, unless it’s Ugly Naked Leprechaun Day where you live:

^{Video courtesy JoBlo}

This clip from Carmen Electra’s supposedly “leaked” sex tape features no boobies, no vaginas, and hardly any tongue at all. It’s real Rebecca Gayheart home video quality, let me tell you. I’m not going to come straight out and say it’s boring, but you should know I got a bigger boner watching “The Life Cycles of the Mealworm” while alphabetizing my sock drawer. And I don’t even have a penis. So counting this video, that makes two of us with absolutely no wieners at all.

Lots more screen caps after the jump

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A wall safe and a couple of watches were stolen when three men broke into Lindsay Lohan’s house over the weekend, but you didn’t think there was actually money or jewelery in the safe, did you? Ha ha, of course not! It’s Lindsay Lohan! We all know she hasn’t gotten paid in months. According to the Chicago Sun-Times

The real reason Lindsay Lohan is so upset about the theft of the safe from her L.A. house is the contents included some very incriminating videos and photos, plus legal documents, that LiLo believes could cause embarrassment if made public.

The shit’s about to hit the fan, and what Lindsay needs now more than ever is a real mother. That leathery old bag she’s got flapping around her when the cameras are rolling doesn’t count. She needs somebody without an agenda. Someone to pick her up when she falls face-first on a penis. Someone with direction and compassion. Someone who’s proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have what it takes to care for other people. And I don’t like to brag, but I’ve proven that to Child Protective Services like three times in the last year and a half. Call me, Linz!

UPDATE: Lindsay just kinda confirmed this, tweeting “i know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren’t taken… just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me.” Read: nekkid pictures.

Looking high as a kite while shopping last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

It’s long been rumored that there was a Rihanna/Chris Brown sex tape out there somewhere, and now X-rated video clip starring a woman who looks a lot like Rihanna has found its way online. According to Nine MSN

This newly released footage… runs for only 13 seconds and shows Rihanna writhing around with Chris Brown. The clip was posted along with a note saying that more footage would be released on June 22 — the date of Chris Brown’s court hearing for assault.

Debate is raging online as to whether or not the clip is the real deal, with many porno aficionados arguing that the star of the film is actually Lavish Styles — a porn actress who bears a striking resemblance to Rihanna.

“Porn aficionados?” What the fuck is that? And to think, my husband got all pissed when I put “masturbatory enthusiast” and “knob-polishing bon vivant” on his business cards. I’m sorry if “jerk-off king” just struck me as a little too blasé for public consumption.

The NSFW video preview after the jump

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I haven’t read any of the Twilight series or seen the movie, mostly because I’m not a simpering moron or currently enrolled in high school (which I know is redundant, but I’m saying anyway in case any Twilight fans are reading this — work with me here). Anyway, the stupid New Moon movie poster has supposedly leaked, and the general consensus among fans has been OMFG IJPMP! GG 9 KPC4VR!!! OK! Magazine says

The folks behind New Moon… need to do a better job of keeping a lid on the secrets of the sure-to-be huge sequel to Twilight. First, a woman finds a copy of the film’s script in the trash, and now it looks like the first official poster for the movie might have been leaked.

The artwork… features a smoldering R-Patts being kept away from on-screen love interest Kristen Stewart by a glowering Taylor Lautner, all set in a very misty forest.

That is quite possibly the gayest thing I’ve ever read. Right after “On Hands on Dick: Virgin Sailors” and the script for “Episode I: The Phantom Menace.”

Less gay but equally disturbing (click image for NSFW) Octomom-themed porn “Coctomom” poster:

More naked full-frontal pictures of an African-American female singer hit the interwebs today, but surprise, surprise — this time it’s not Cassie. Try “Rihanna” on for size instead. It’s definitely her, completely, gratuitously naked. Who ever could be responsible for this leak? Certainly not Chris Brown, because included in the bunch is a photo of him with panties on his head. Equally compromising in every sense of the word, right? No way he would violate his own privacy like that. It’s an airtight alibi! Oh, and speaking of airtighting…

Thumbnail links NSFW:

Another naked Cassie photo found its way online last night, this one far more graphic and explicit than the first two. Let’s just say you’ll know without a shadow of a doubt that Cassie is a female after viewing this photo. There’s absolutely nothing left to the imagination. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only thing you can’t see in this photo is the inside of her uterus, but I just might not have been squinting hard enough.

Click the header image for the monstrously NSFW picture of Cassie’s lady bits.