There are a lot of things you shouldn’t do in the first trimester when you’re pregnant. Smoking, for example. Soft cheeses. And — of course — major invasive body-sculpting plastic surgery. Too bad nobody told Jamie Lynn Spears. Star Magazine says

Jamie Lynn had just finished Zoey 101 when she found the weight piling on. “She didn’t know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure,” a source reveals. “Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient.”

Moms-to-be are advised against the procedure. “Liposuction is dangerous and should not be performed on a pregnant woman,” plastic surgeon Dr. Gary Burton tells Star. “It poses serious health risks to the fetus.”

Early-pregnancy liposuction still can’t be as serious a risk to a baby as “being born a Spears.” That’s practically a fate worse than death. I could put a baby in a hay baler with nothing but a box of raisins and some matches and it’d still have a better chance at turning out normal than little Maddie. It just might end up square and smelling of alfalfa and horse spit.

Out in L.A. last month: