The best part of any awards show is making fun of the bad dresses, but before you get your panties up in a knot, you should know that Nina Dobrev is NOT on my worst dressed list. She was actually my other favorite for the night’s best-dressed. She’s just up there as a frame of reference — an example of all that is right and good in the world — when faced with a lumbering behemoth like Kaycee Stroh and her polyester lava lamp prison or Rita Wilson’s Phantom of the Opera-themed stripper shoes. Be thee warned — now begins the winter of your discontent!

The best of the worst after the jump.

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The 2010 Emmy nominations were announced this morning, and by “Emmy nominations” I mean “Glee circle jerk.” People magazine says:

Emmy loves Glee and Modern Family – though the leader of the pack, with 24 nominations, is the HBO miniseries about World War II, The Pacific.

Glee was not far behind, with 19, followed by 17 nominations for AMC’s period drama Mad Men.

HBO’s vampire series True Blood made it into the arena as a contender for best dramatic series. And … drumroll … Conan O’Brien’s aborted NBC Tonight show received a nomination for best music, variety or comedy program – clearly a swipe at his network and his successor, Jay Leno, who did not make the cut.

In more interesting news, it was also announced this morning that Kim Kardashian has a huge rack. I’m the one who announced it. Further bulletin as events warrant!

Full list of nominees here.

Twitpics from her new fragrance shoot, plus her heading to Lindsay Lohan’s house last night:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

The only time I’d ever pick up a copy of Maxim magazine is if I had the beer shits and were out of toilet paper, and here is your why (via Us Magazine):

Katy Perry has been named No. 1 on Maxim’s 2010 Hot 100.

Brooklyn Decker, who landed the coveted cover girl spot on this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, ranked No. 2, edging out Zoë Saldana (No. 3) and Blake Lively (No. 4). Megan Fox slipped to No. 5, [followed by] Rihanna, George Clooney’s Italian girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis, Olivia Munn, Kim Kardashian and model Marisa Miller.

On what planet is Katy fucking Perry hotter than Megan Fox, Marisa Miller and Brooklyn Decker? Please. If Marisa Miller is fillet mignon, then Katy Perry is the corn meal you eat with your fingers out of a wooden bowl while brushing the flies from your eyes.

Sexy FAIL:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

The 16th Annual Screen Actors’ Guild Awards aired Saturday night, and I imagine many of you were too busy playing World of Warcraft in your mother’s basement to actually watch it. Fortunately, it’s my job to tell you what happened, so you can sound cool and informed when you manage to stalk catch the receptionist when she’s alone at the water cooler.

So, in a nutshell, it was a giant pile of self-congratulatory ass-kissing. The real mystery of the night was how that piece of shit “Nine” managed to get nominated for anything other than Biggest Waste of Time and Talent, but it somehow found itself in the running like ten times. “Inglorious Basterds” was the big winner of the night, and Jeff Bridges was finally recognized for the colossus he is with a Best Male Actor win for his role in “Crazy Heart.” Yeah, fucking “Crazy Heart.” I know. The only thing his role in “The Big Lebowski” turns up is The Russian Guild of Film Critics’ Golden Aires Award for Best Foreign Film, but he gets nominated and wins for “Crazy Heart.” Which is precisely why I stopped watching these award shows in the first place. Well, that, and because you don’t become a 9th level Blood Elf Paladin by watching a bunch of jerk-off actors telling each other how great they are. Some of us have Horde orcs and Darkspear trolls to destroy, you know!

For a complete list of winners, click here; more pics after the jump.

Drew Barrymore:

Penelope Cruz:

Kate Hudson:

Mariah Carey:

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