LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!! continues to move along swimmingly. (WWTDD)

A lot of petty people have a lot of petty things to say about Gabby Sidibe, but she’s actually totally awesome and I love her for many reasons, some of which The Fug Girls enumerate here. (GoFugYourself)

Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish broke up, and I’m pretty sure the whole world couldn’t possibly care less. (LitelySalted)

Hayden Panettiere got breast implants, but bigger chesticles don’t make her any less creepy or annoying. (CelebSlam)

Coming soon: Shit Shat Told Me. (AgentBedhead)

Bar Refaeli and her ass are in Mexico. (IDLYITW)

Kate Moss is like a walking fountain of youth. (HollywoodRag)

The bad judgment, sketchy costumes and blackface of the Winter Olympics. (Celebitchy)

Andrew Koenig (Boner from “Growing Pains”) is missing. (SOMG)

Jessica Simpson’s gay boyfriend feels her up at her dad’s birthday party. (TheBlemish)

Rihanna gets a lapdance from Bridget the Midget. (CelebNewsWire)

50 celebrity makeovers: vote fab or fail. (FabLife)

Paris Hilton is Davy Jones’ locker. (TheSuperficial)

Jennifer Lopez got dumped by her record label. (DListed)

HAHAHA!  It’s been awhile since we’ve had any news on the LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!! front, but oh man, this is hilarious.  Apparently, Lindsay Lohan is a “secret celebrity hoarder.”  When I saw this headline in Us, I got super duper excited because I thought it meant LiLo would be on the crazy addictive (and just plain crazy) A&E show “Hoarders”, but it turns out she’s just appearing on “The Insider” with Niecy Nash, who also hosts that “Clean House” show.  Whatever.  I’m disappointed, yet still vastly amused.

Is Lindsay Lohan a secret celebrity hoarder?

“I just need to get rid of … stuff,” the 23-year-old star says in a teaser for an exclusive interview on The Insider. “That’s personal stuff that I have to work on.”

That “stuff” has apparently taken over the actress’ home. According to The Insider, her bedroom has turned into a warehouse of shoes and her living room is filled with clutter, including racks upon racks of clothes.

In the interview, set to air Thursday, Niecy Nash — host of the Style Network’s Clean House reality show — has a sit-down with Lohan, who may be using hoarding as a coping mechanism for the estranged relationship she has with her father, Michael Lohan.

“It’s kind of a sore subject,” she says in the teaser, which promises to reveal her “private pain” for the very first time.

Yeah, her house is kind of a hot mess, but I’ve seen “Hoarders” about a hundred times so I ain’t impressed.  I don’t even see any dead animals or piles of rotting food, and that preview clip didn’t show Lindsay pitching a fit and crying because someone was trying to throw away an old Taco Bell cup or a tampon receipt from 1993 or anything.  It basically just looks like her house is stuffed to the rafters with (most likely stolen) designer merchandise, and she’s pretending like it’s all because of her jackass father and his mesh shirts.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Lindsay Lohan isn’t nearly insane enough for real, hardcore hoarding.  Your hoarding is minor league, Lohan.  You’ll never make it to The Show without at least one cat skeleton and a rodent infestation.

Lindsay Lohan is dedicated, y’all.  She won’t let a formal event like the Golden Globes stop LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!! from railroading its way through 2010, no siree.  Lindsay threw on the first sparkly hoodie dress she found wadded in a ball in the corner of her closet (under the bong and those “borrowed” pants with coke in the pocket) and she sprayed herself with approximately 13 gallons of Sevin Nyne (so she’d have that nice Oompa Loompa glow) and she crashed the Warner Brothers Golden Globes after-party.  Who needs an invitation, anyway?  Not this girl!

It’s like she thinks she’s Grace Jones, except orange and blonde and retarded:

Remember when Lindsay Lohan went to India for like five minutes and pretended to save 40 kids from child trafficking?  Well, now you can see a clip of the BCC documentary filmed during that trip, in which Lindsay apparently sits down and asks an old lady a couple of vague, mumbled questions.  It is riveting stuff, y’all.  It looks like now that we’ve got Lindsay on the case, child trafficking and prostitution will be a thing of the past!

I guess Lindsay Lohan is just like Mother Theresa, if Mother Theresa was still alive and had a hearty bowl of Valtrex for breakfast every morning and spent her days stealing everything that wasn’t nailed down in between banging anyone who would stand still long enough.

In other news, Lindsay tried to hook up with Adam Lambert this weekend, because Lindsay does a lot of blow and sometimes that makes her forget that she doesn’t have a penis.

Just this past weekend, Lindsay Lohan cracktweeted her little heart out about how “drama-free” her 2010 was going to be.  To the surprise of absolutely no one, that master plan went to hell in a handbasket in only a couple of days.  Lindsay is a failure in every way, however, so of course things are getting more ridiculous by the minute.  From People:

Merely a week after plans to expand her leggings line 6126 into a full fashion line hit the internet — complete with sketches — Lindsay has been accused of copying designs by two separate designers, reports WWD. First, James Lillis, designer of Black Milk Clothing, took to his blog, toomanytights.typepad.com, to point out the similarities between Lindsay’s “Diamond” leggings and his own “Sheer Spartan” leggings — both of which boast a signature triangle cutout at mid-thigh. Next,Fashionista.com labeled Lindsay’s geometric dress as a dead ringer for a Jen Kao dress the star wore only last month — to which designer Jen Kao responded to WWD, saying, “While we are all well aware that being ‘mimicked’ or ‘copied’ has always existed in this industry, I think the evolution of it all has grown to an alarming level. It’s a shame to support the concept of taking advantage of designers who are still trying to develop a name and solidify the image of their design aesthetic.” While Lindsay has yet to respond to the accusations against her, Kristi Kaylor, president of 6126, defended Lindsay and the integrity of her designs to WWD, saying, “The alleged ‘copying’ claims made by these companies are false and have absolutely no merit or validity whatsoever. Any alleged similarities are purely coincidental. The 6126 illustrations for the upcoming fall 2010 collections do not even describe the fabric content, fit or actual construction details of the garments. This is merely an accusation based upon a pencil sketch with no concrete viable evidence to back up the allegations.”

Are you goddamn kidding me?  “Alleged” similarities?  Get the fuck out.  The 6126 “Diamond” leggings sketch is shown here on the left, and Black Milk Clothing’s “Sheer Spartan” leggings are shown on the right.

Image via Too Many Tights

And here’s the dress design Lindsay stole from Jen Kao:

Image via Fashionista

These are not “alleged similarities” and I can’t believe that anyone, even coked-up Lindsay Lohan and her retarded lackeys, would have the unmitigated gall to dump such a ridiculous bucket of bullshit.  These 6126 sketches are goddamn identical to the work of other designers.  Jesus, at this point it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Lindsay Lohan drew a picture of the Eiffel Tower in crayon and then claimed she built it.

Only a few days into her “drama-free” year of LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!! and already Lindsay Lohan and her sister Ali are putting on a teary spectacle of histrioncs because Lindsay punched a dude in the face. (Celebitchy)

Jersey Shore is getting a porn spoof. (LitelySalted)

Awww!  Look, it’s adorable Alyson Hannigan with her super-cute baby girl, Satyana! (AgentBedhead)

Reese Witherspoon takes her kids Ava and Deacon to the dentist. (ICYDK)

Rihanna makes out with Matt Kemp in a Mexican hot tub. (Allie)

Pixie Geldof is warm and fluffy like a big bird. (HollywoodRag)

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are stealthy. (WWTDD)

Vince Vaughn married Kyla Weber on Saturday. (TheBlemish)

Mischa Barton looks like hell. (EvilBeet)

Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban and their daughter Sunday Rose flew home from Sydney for a month-long juggernaut of award shows. (PopSugar)

Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal’s son Redmond got arrested on drug charges.  Again.  Some more. (DListed)

The 10 Most Hated Celebrities of 2009. (Bumpshack)

Remember when Lindsay Lohan announced that 6126, her line of leggings, would be expanded into a full collection?  And then remember when she promised LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!! for 2010?  Obviously, this was all headed straight for Disasterville, and the trainwreck arrived right on time.

From Us Magazine:

Sounds like Lindsay Lohan‘s New Year has gotten off on the wrong foot.

While celebrating 2010 on the island of St. Barth’s, the 23 year-old star discovered that she was ripped off by her longtime best friend and sidekick Patrick “Pootie” Aufdenkamp.

A friend close to Lohan tells UsMagazine.com, “Patrick stole Lindsay’s sketches for her new 6126 clothing line.” WWD reported Dec. 30 that Lohan’s 6126 leggings line would be expanded to become a full clothing collection for fall 2010; her role as artistic advisor for fashion house Emanuel Ungaro, despite a rocky start, is also ongoing.

Lohan tells UsMagazine.com that Aufdenkamp has been her “best friend” since she was 16. He has frequently been photographed with the actress, and was present at many meetings related to her new fashion line.

“He is now running off trying to do his own line,” a Lohan pal says incredulously, “And telling people he’s going to fashion market week in NYC on February 18 to debut his line.”

Adds the Lohan source, “It’s horrible. He was her best friend. He has always used her, and she’s been warned to never trust him. Lindsay is a good friend and likes to see the good in people. She didn’t want to believe how bad Patrick’s energy was, and how false his friendship has always been with her.”

Lohan herself spoke to UsMagazine.com exclusively about the sad incident. “I should’ve known better,” she said, noting that the friendship with “Pootie” has ended. “But new year for me and a new beginning! Health, happiness, success and love!”

A rep for Aufdenkamp could not be reached for comment.

If Lindsay expected anything better than this from a dude named Pootie then she’s even dumber than I gave her credit for.  But hey, on the plus side, this is super great news for fans of nipple pasties, saggy tank tops, ugly hats, and leggings with built-in kneepads and condom dispensers.  Y’all might just be treated to TWO designer collections this year!  I know it’s always been a dream of mine to own a pair of shredded, probably acid-wash jeans with a bedazzled “Pootie” on the pocket that cost as much as a car payment.  It’s like Christmas came twice!

If you’re wondering just what the holy hell a “Pootie” looks like, here’s your terrifying answer:

Howdy y’all, it’s 2010!  Welcome to the future, bitches.  It’s Sarah, and I’m sorry to inform you that Abby’s been chained up in Mariah Carey’s basement unavoidably detained, and y’all are stuck with me until February.  Don’t fret though, pets.  She’ll be back in time for Valentine’s Day, so you’ll still be able to pretend you have a girlfriend again this year.

Oh hey, speaking of delusional lunatics, Lindsay Lohan spouted a bunch of New Year’s nonsense on her Twitter over the weekend.  From People:

Having said buh-bye to 2009, Lindsay Lohan is gearing up for a drama-free New Year.

“2010 is about moving forward, not backwards. Leaving the bad (people, habbits [sic], and negative energy behind) time to make changes-right!?!? ” Lohan, 23, tweeted from St. Barts, where she’s been spending time onboard Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich’s yacht.

As Lohan vowed on her Twitter page, “Starting my new year off with friends&family, the way it should be….. No boyfriends and the other drama.” Lohan’s message threw cold water on recent reports that have romantically linked her to DJ Jus-Ske and model Adam Senn.

While 2009 saw the actress sign a lucrative deal with fashion house Emanuel Ungaro, costar with Robert DeNiro in the film Machete and channel her humanitarian spirit by heading to India to meet with exploited children, she also had her fair share of drama: a very public split from deejay Samantha Ronson, countless rumors of random hookups and bad behavior, and in October, having a Beverly Hills judge extend her probation by a year.

Still, Lohan, won’t let the detractors get her. “To answer everybody’s question … My new years resolution is to stop letting the lucky few that have my heart, try2constantly tear me down,” she Tweeted. “Everyone get ready for more (but positive-LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!!)”

Yeah.  Sure.  Because nothing says “drama free” like LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!!

Lindsay is currently in St. Barths with her sister, doing… some stuff.  Lounging around and shopping, apparently, which means her “vacation” is exactly like every other day of her life.  I’m pretty sure that at this point, the earth’s magnetic poles would actually reverse if this bitch ever got a real job for even one afternoon.

Clomping around in ridiculous shoes and then copping a squat in the Louis Vuitton store: