PHOTO CREDIT: InTouch Weekly

Before he married Gwen Stefani back in 2002, Gavin Rossdale spent half a decade of his life in the arms the man pictured above (and I use the word “man” here loosely). In Touch Weekly says

Gavin had a long-standing secret love affair with Marilyn — a male rocker who looked remarkably like Gwen. “He was the love of my life,” Marilyn [says]. Though Boy George broke the news of Gavin and Marilyn’s tumultuous romance in his 1995 book, Gavin denied it. At the time, Marilyn denied the affair as well.

But he says he did it only because Gavin asked him to. “He was just becoming successful in America,” Marilyn explains. “I agreed to lie against every grain of my being.” Now, Marilyn wants to set the record straight. In an exclusive interview with In Touch, [he says], “We were together five years, but it felt like 40.”

Gavin’s rep denies the story.

Sorry, but you don’t “used to” be gay. Just like you can’t be “kinda” pregnant or “mostly” sober. You either like the wiener or you don’t. Case closed.

Vintage shirtless Gavin for my homos and my ladies:

The secret behind Jennifer Aniston’s smile these days is a little industry phenomenon known as “John Mayer’s wiener.” A friend of Mayer’s told OK! Magazine:

“John is good in bed. Not just good, but sensational. Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of their life. I’m not sure what exactly he does, but after girls sleep with him, they’re ruined. Whatever John’s secret is, he should market it. He could retire from the music industry.”

So Johnny boy has some signature moves, huh? Well, I have a few signature moves of my own. Like pulling up my pants and apologizing, for starters. Or clamping my hand over my mouth with my eyes squeezed shut and shaking my head back and forth while dry-heaving. Call me, boys!