If so, you’re in luck! And if so, you need some serious help! There’s something not quite right with girlfriend’s face. It’s like Barbie got hit by radioactive fallout or something. New York Post reports,

Lydia Hearst is about to get all hot and bothered at a theater near you. The blond heiress has a sex scene with Jason Behr in the opening reel of “The Last International Playboy,” which opens June 12. Later, Hearst, who plays a model named Stella, gets topless as she and Behr, as a booze-swilling Manhattan skirt-chaser, strip off their shirts.

If you don’t want to wait, you could always get one of those wind-up chattering teeth and some great big googly eyes and you’d have the same thing.

At the Conde Nast Media Group’s 5th Anniversary of Fashion Rocks in New York, desperately needing a sandwich:

I think a deep, dark badness must happen inside a girl’s brain when she’s born with more money than most small countries, because I swear to God there ain’t one of these heiresses who can manage to dress herself without looking like an alien ice dancer or a homeless hippie or some other ridiculous shit.  This particular idiot is Lydia Hearst, and this getup is what she wore to the 10th anniversary party for Nylon Magazine.  As far as I know, Lydia Hearst is neither legally blind nor an actual ice skating extra terrestrial, so I don’t even know what to say about this.  My head hurts.