There’s always drama with the Lohan clan, so what could be more natural fodder for a movie script? The Lohans are pretending they’re not delighted to be getting more attention drawn to them, so what’s the best way to up the ante? File a lawsuit. TMZ says,

Producers of “Dogs in Pocketbooks” — a movie pretty clearly based on Lindsay Lohan’s wild ride — may have to open their own pocketbooks, because the Lohan clan is considering legal action.

As we told you yesterday, “Dogs” is based on a spoiled brat prone to alcohol and cocaine binges, reckless driving, failed rehab attempts, career-ending partying and ruthless hangers-on.

Lydia Hearst, Lindsay’s spitting image, will star in the movie.

Dina Lohan says the new movie “is definitely based on Lindsay’s likeness,” and “We have a very strong case. It’s shadowing E*TRADE” — referring to Lohan’s suit against the online brokerage firm which produced a commercial featuring a baby Lindsay.

Now we’ve learned Lohan’s family lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, has been contacted by the Lohan family and it seems Ovadia thinks they have a case: “They are again using her likeness without her being compensated.”

Ovadia adds, “Not only that but they are advertising the fact that they are using her likeness.”

Dina warns, “Anyone bringing negativity will be dealt with accordingly.”

Oh please beeyatch. You hear “spoiled brat prone to alcohol and cocaine binges, reckless driving, failed rehab attempts, career-ending partying and ruthless hangers-on”, who else are you going to think of but Lindsay? You could slap a wig on a springer spaniel and everyone would know who you’re talking about. Believe me, I know. They asked my dog to play the part, but she was really offended.

In a Benn Jaye photoshoot:

If so, you’re in luck! And if so, you need some serious help! There’s something not quite right with girlfriend’s face. It’s like Barbie got hit by radioactive fallout or something. New York Post reports,

Lydia Hearst is about to get all hot and bothered at a theater near you. The blond heiress has a sex scene with Jason Behr in the opening reel of “The Last International Playboy,” which opens June 12. Later, Hearst, who plays a model named Stella, gets topless as she and Behr, as a booze-swilling Manhattan skirt-chaser, strip off their shirts.

If you don’t want to wait, you could always get one of those wind-up chattering teeth and some great big googly eyes and you’d have the same thing.

At the Conde Nast Media Group’s 5th Anniversary of Fashion Rocks in New York, desperately needing a sandwich:

I think a deep, dark badness must happen inside a girl’s brain when she’s born with more money than most small countries, because I swear to God there ain’t one of these heiresses who can manage to dress herself without looking like an alien ice dancer or a homeless hippie or some other ridiculous shit.  This particular idiot is Lydia Hearst, and this getup is what she wore to the 10th anniversary party for Nylon Magazine.  As far as I know, Lydia Hearst is neither legally blind nor an actual ice skating extra terrestrial, so I don’t even know what to say about this.  My head hurts.