Kim Kardashian graces the cover of the premiere issue of World’s Most Beautiful, the first-ever magazine shot entirely in 3-D. She posted some pics from the shoot and wrote on her official site:
The magazine comes out Thursday and is the world’s first 3-D magazine… so you need 3-D glasses to see the photos! How cool is that!?
Nick Saglimbeni came up with the idea and we had the most amazing shoot out in the desert with all kinds of stunning outfits.
These are the 2D versions of the Issue 1 cover shoot!!
Ironic that the world’s first 3-D magazine would feature the world’s most one-dimensional person. As if her ass weren’t already big enough in two dimensions.
Three pics from the shoot + pics from her bachelorette party:
I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason Olivia Wilde has her fist in her crotch and a flannel shirt around her waist. Maybe it’s 1992 and she really, really has to pee.
From the August issue (thumbs 1-5) + outtakes from the shoot:
Lady Gaga and her “bones” posed in a provocative shoot for NME magazine, which I assumed was a periodical published by Nightmare Enterprises for King Dedede to aid in his attempts to take down the mighty star warrior Kirby. Apparently this was not the case, although it may still give you nightmares. She says in the interview (via the Daily Mail):
“I feel I have been probed endlessly about who the fuck I am. I have been quite open about it. And still nobody seems to have a clue.
I’m not going to start churning out what you expect. If you’re looking for me to be something that isn’t there, STOP LOOKING. I am not that. I am not created. If you want me to be a manufactured act, you can fuck off.
Let me tell you something. If you fucking rip my hairbow and my wig off my fucking head, my shoes, my bra, every single thing on my body, and you throw me on a piano with a microphone, I will fucking make you cry.”
She’s right, you know. You would cry. Seeing that disgusting leprechaun naked on a piano would unleash a torrent of anguish and despair unlike anything you had ever known. It’s the same feeling you get after seeing “Two Girls, One Cup” or when the bartender cuts you off before happy hour is even over.
I didn’t think any Parisian fashion houses designed with the massive rear end in mind, but rapper Nicki Minaj managed to stuff her ass into some haute couture in the May issue of Elle magazine. It’s good to know you can have more crack than a drug dealer and still dress like a white girl with a house in the Hamptons. I think Martin Luther King, Jr. would be proud.
I like Miley Cyrus‘ assertion on the cover of March’s Marie Claire that she “never, ever said I was perfect”. A classic cop-out statement to release responsibility for herself for the bad image she put out there for her underage fans. I’ve heard ‘em all. “It was the alcohol talking”, or how about “I wouldn’t have gotten that ticket for doing 103 if you weren’t such a bitch when I get home late” or my personal favorite, “I was totally sleepwalking when I banged the neighbor”. It’s my favorite because I’ve used that one. On more than one occasion.
Looks like they did a good job of Photoshopping the ‘tard out of her:
Former Hills star Heidi Montag is boo-hooing to Life & Style magazine about her numerous plastic surgery scars that no one even would have ever seen had she not made the photographer zoom in 200x and then drawn little arrows pointing to them. The Daily Mail says:
She revealed a two-inch-long raised blemish under her chin from her chin reduction, two caterpillar-size bald spots along her hairline from a brow lift, a jagged line behind her ears from having them pinned back, lumpy legs and four spots on her lower back and below the buttocks from botched liposuction, a bright-red mark inside her right nostril, uneven boobs and deep scars around her nipples from a second boob job.
“I feel like I’m stuck with [my G-cup breasts] now,” she told the magazine. “Sometimes I wish I could go back to the original Heidi. I would love to not be ‘plastic girl’ or whatever they call me.
I wish I could jump into a time machine and take it all back. Surgery has ruined my career and my personal life and just brought a lot of negativity into my world.”
Yes, surgery ruined her career. Not her complete lack of talent or likability. Not her douchebag asshat of a husband. Not MTV. Surgery. Even Sarah Palin isn’t that much in denial.
LeAnn Rimes is unattractive and hasn’t had a hit in nearly ten years, so I understand why people were angry about Shape magazine’s decision to put her on their October cover. But oddly enough, her squinty eyes and lack of breasts weren’t the source of the readership’s outrage — it was her home-wrecking whoring ways. And Shape, for one, agrees they made a mistake. Us Magazine says:
Shape editor-in-chief Valerie Latona apologized to readers who felt that Rimes was a poor cover choice.
“Shape has made a terrible mistake in putting LeAnn Rimes on the cover,” Latona explained. “Please know that our putting her on the cover was not meant to put a husband-stealer on a pedestal-but to show how we all are human. And this woman in particular found strength in exercise in what she said was her most difficult personal moment.”
[But] Latona acknowledges that “it did not come across that way… and for that I’m terribly sorry. I hope that we can do better the next time for those of you that will give us another chance.”
Being called “terrible mistake” isn’t really that insulting. I mean, whose mother hasn’t called them a “terrible mistake” on more than one occasion? Or hit them with a curling iron? Or locked them in a broom closet and forgot they were there until the school called to ask where I had been for the last four days? Sticks and stones, Shape magazine. Words can never hurt me!
If I were any more obsessed with British glamour model Kelly Brook, I’d be wearing her skin like a dress while preening in front of a mirror. But just so you know, you should never write that in a card and send it to a girl you like. Apparently there’s a very fine line between “compliment” and “proof of intent to commit murder.”
You probably never noticed it before, but Malin Åkerman’s name has a tiny circle on it. Like this little dot, right over the A. Circle… dot… Jesus, does anybody else see where this is going? This is clearly part of some diabolical plot by the Swiss to preternaturally immunize against cooties without ever having to administer the shot! My God. It was right in front of me the whole time. Everything I thought I knew about the third grade recess dynamic is a lie! Also: boobs.
Fledgling porn starMontana Fishburne graces the cover of this month’s As Is magazine, but I’m not sure whose ass the machines are feeding us here, because in real life her rear end looks like somebody stubbed out about twenty or thirty cigars on it. I didn’t even know you could have puss zits and taint zits, but hell if she doesn’t have those, too. Don’t believe me? Well, I’m about to show you the truth. But before you click, be warned: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill and log off this site – the story ends, you wake up in your bed of lies and photoshop and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and click the link – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. And it’s so deep you can practically see her cervix.
I’m trying to free your mind, but I can only show you the door… you’re the one that has to (very very VERY NSFW) walk through it.
The French have a saying — “Il faut souffrir pour être belle” — meaning “beauty is suffering.” That sounds about right, because it sure hurt like hell when I hacked those warts off my cheek with a kitchen knife last week. I guess Marion Cotillard just decided to go with the corset.
