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Julianne Hough has a lovely spread in this month’s issue of Prestige Hong Kong, and I went out on a limb and assumed you hadn’t already bought the magazine. She looks nice and all, but that sweater she’s wearing on the cover is a little small, isn’t it? I wouldn’t have thought Ryan Seacrest would let her borrow his best cashmere shrug for some photo shoot. Especially if she were gonna wear those shoes with it.

The August issue of Remix magazine features a photo shoot with gorgeous Victoria’s Secret Angel/Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton, but 1) she’s not wearing lingerie, and 2) she’s not wearing a bikini. That should pretty much solve the mystery as to why you’ve never heard of Remix magazine before today.

36-year-old mom of fourteen Nadya Suleman talked about her loathing of sex and masturbation as she posed in a bikini for the latest issue of Steppin’ Out magazine. They wanted her to talk about her loathing of food while wearing a chef’s hat and gnawing on a turkey leg, but everyone agreed that just seemed weird. The NY Daily News says:

Even when she was married, Suleman said she never liked to be intimate with her husband.

“I can tell you that I never touched [my husband] physically. It was a different type of marriage. I’m the kind of person who can be with a man for years and never touch him. My mind is not wired that way. I don’t need that kind of thing. People need sex, but I don’t .. I have zero sexual interest.”

And that includes with herself.

“I’ve never even touched myself in that way,” she added. “Maybe if I had touched myself things would be different. I never tried it so I don’t know what I’m missing.”

Fourteen kids, but completely sexually repressed? Sounds like a textbook Catholic if you ask me.

Nobody likes Gwyneth Paltrow, and no matter how hard she tries to sound cool and down-to-earth, she always comes off pretentious. Case in point — her interview in next month’s Elle Magazine:

On getting support from Beyoncé on her surprise duet with Cee Lo Green at the Grammys: “This story always makes me cry… It’s 10 in the morning and Beyoncé schleps it all the way down to the Staples Center to watch. I mean, She’s Beyoncé!”

On the advice Beyoncé gave her before her performance: “Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we’re at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!’”

On creating a solo album: “Beyoncé and Jay — they think that I should just go do it by myself. That I should go… in a studio and see what happens. And if it’s good, do it. And if it’s not, don’t. So that’s probably what I’ll do.”

I have never seen such a blatant case of flagrant name-dropping in all my life. Jesus Christ. We get it, Gwyneth! You’re friends with Beyonce and Jay-Z. BFD. I have black friends, too:

On showing the world a different side of herself: “If you speak to my friends who’ve known me since I was four, they’ll say, ‘That is her.’ They always said to me, ‘You’re the dirtiest person in the world and so funny. Show the world that side of you.’ I felt guarded. I felt like if I really showed people more of me and I was still not accepted, then… Who cares. You just realize it doesn’t matter what people think of you.”

On deciding to launch GOOP: “When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris? People know that I know that…”

It may surprise you, Gwyneth, but most of Middle America isn’t going to Europe to get their cooter waxed.

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Kim Kardashian graces the cover of the premiere issue of World’s Most Beautiful, the first-ever magazine shot entirely in 3-D. She posted some pics from the shoot and wrote on her official site:

The magazine comes out Thursday and is the world’s first 3-D magazine… so you need 3-D glasses to see the photos! How cool is that!?

Nick Saglimbeni came up with the idea and we had the most amazing shoot out in the desert with all kinds of stunning outfits.

These are the 2D versions of the Issue 1 cover shoot!!

Ironic that the world’s first 3-D magazine would feature the world’s most one-dimensional person. As if her ass weren’t already big enough in two dimensions.

Three pics from the shoot + pics from her bachelorette party:

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