Sorry for the late start guys, it’s Sonya and I’ll be filling in today!

Boy George has been sentenced to 15 months in jail, but unfortunately, not for the abomination that is called Do You Really Want to Hurt Me (thanks for setting me straight, Arthur!). It seems like ol’ Georgie has to pay for a “male escort” these days, and even then, has to resort to handcuffing them to a wall to keep them in his apartment. BBC News reports,

The singer, whose real name is George O’Dowd, denied the charge and claimed the victim, Norwegian Audun Carlsen, 29, had stolen photos from his laptop.

O’Dowd, 47, admitted handcuffing him to a wall in April 2007 but said he did so in order to trace the missing property.

Judge David Radford told the singer he was guilty of “gratuitous violence”.

Judge Radford said: “Whilst I accept that Mr Carlsen’s physical injuries were not serious or permanent, in my view there can be no doubt that your premeditated callous and humiliating handcuffing and detention of Mr Carlsen shocked, degraded and traumatised him.

“He was deprived of his liberty and human dignity without warning or proper explanation to him of its purpose, length or purported justification.”

Oh sure, like a male prostitute isn’t used to being handcuffed and degraded. You don’t volunteer to be a paid butt buddy to earn self-esteem and social standing, do you?

Boy George with friends and family at the courthouse:

There have long been rumors that actor Will Smith is a gay, but now a notorious Hollywood Madame is confirming that the Fresh Prince was a client of hers for years before she moved to Manhattan. She told Ian Under Cover

“[The first time I spoke with Smith], I had to reassure him over and over that I could guarantee discretion. Once I convinced him I could, he placed his order. It was for a man. You’d be surprised at how many Hollywood stars requested the services of the guys.”

This lends itself quite nicely to Smith’s new allegiance to the homo-curing religion of Scientology:

Could Smith’s proclivities account for his recent apparent conversion to Scientology, a religion that’s chief appeal in Hollywood appears to be its promise to turn gay people straight? The religion’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard, believed homosexuals should be quarantined from society because he considered gays to be “quite ill physically” and homosexuality a “mental aberration.”

I don’t know the answer to that. And we won’t know the answer to that until some miscreant with a wide-angle lens catches him in bed with two Thai boys and Tom Cruise in a hoop skirt. Until then, we just speculate wildly, like Al Gore with his “global warming.” The real travesty here is that we missed out on the opportunity to integrate “BJ Jizzy Jeff” and “The Flesh Prince of Ball Hair” into everyday conversation back in the nineties. I think we should all take a moment to mourn our loss.