Chris Brown is still operating under the no-photographs-allowed decree, which means his thugs will take your camera if you dare disobey.  Celebrity Fix says,

Visiting R’n'B bad boy Chris Brown can’t seem to keep himself out of the headlines.

While out on the town in Sydney this week, he was snapped partying by fans before his security guards grabbed the phones and deleted the pictures.

A guest told The Daily Telegraph that Chris’s personal security guards were watching out for people with camera phones at Kings Cross nightclub The Backroom.

“If they saw someone taking a picture they just took the phone and deleted any photos and handed it back, telling them Chris was not to be photographed,” the guest said.

The Backroom owner David Freeman explained that “it was a private party for Chris and his friends and the rules were no photos”.

The only reason I can think that he’d have a problem with being photographed is that he’s a little prima donna who wants his picture to only be taken from his good side. And as you can see, that’s a real problem, because monkey-boy doesn’t have a good side.

Malin Akerman at Environmental Media Association in LA, because did I mention? Chris Brown = ugly.

Guess who just bought earned herself a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Well, I guess you already know the answer to that since I kind of gave it away in the title. I’m going to have to really rethink my strategy here. Anyhoo, Digital Spy says,

The Friends star, who is currently promoting her movie Wanderlust alongside co-star Paul Rudd, will be immortalized on Hollywood Boulevard on Wednesday, February 22.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce revealed plans to honor Aniston earlier this week.

Her star will join accolades for the likes of for Drew Barrymore, Michael Jackson and Tom Cruise on the Walk of Fame.

Aniston received five Emmy nominations, two SAG Award nominations, a Golden Globe and five People’s Choice awards for her role as Rachel Green in Friends. She has also starred in movies such as The Break-Up, Marley & Me and Horrible Bosses.

So take a look at the long list of names that are on the Walk. Notice that there are ton of names on there that you don’t recognize? People who were at one time famous are now lost forever in the annals of history. I forgot what my point was going to be, I’m just happy that I got to work the word annals in there. You know, ’cause it’s like anal. You can always count on me to go for the lowest common denominator.

Getting oddly close with Malin Akerman last night at the premiere of Wanderlust:

Malin Akerman has been down in Miami for the last month shooting “Rock of Ages” with Tom Cruise, and she spent a little time off yesterday wandering around the beach in a bikini. As these pictures very clearly demonstrate, she’s built like a brick shithouse. Wait… no. That’s not right. What I meant to say was, “she’s built like a brick and looks like shit.” My mistake.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

You know it was only a matter of time before someone started trying to make some money off Charlie Sheen’s descent into utter crazy. If I started claiming I had tiger blood in me and fire coming out of my fingertips, I’d get sent to the mental health ward. But if you’re Charlie Sheen, you get more money. This makes sense only in Hollywood. Says Female First,

Charlie Sheen has signed a deal with Live Nation.

The actor – who was fired from sitcom ‘Two and a Half Men’ yesterday (07.03.11) because of his recent wild behaviour – has agreed a merchandising and licensing contract with the concert promoters and while one day it may include a live tour, the company will now be focusing on producing Charlie memorabilia.

Joey Scoleri, Live Nation’s Senior VP for Tour Marketing & Promotion, told E! News: “Being fired has only made him more popular because he is standing up for himself. He is a folk hero.

“We’re hoping to have some of the items for sale as soon as next week. It’s all coming together really quickly. He’s got a lot of brilliant ideas.”

The range of merchandise will include mugs, T-shirts and badges with some of Charlie’s most famous sayings, such as ‘winning’, emblazoned on them.

Charlie – who was pictured on the roof of the Live Nation offices waving a machete – impressed bosses with his ideas for the future.

A source said: “He wants to connect personally with his fans and getting out there on a tour and seeing people in person really appeals to him.”

They should really play up the “folk hero” idea. They should make an animated/live action video of him shirtless, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, striding around and destroying trolls by the fire shooting out of his fingertips, while a pile of cuddly tiger cubs frolic in the background in front of a chorus line of naked goddesses high-kicking piles of blow into the air. If that doesn’t have “WIN” written all over it, I don’t know what does.

Someone I wouldn’t mind seeing doing some naked high-kicks: Malin Akerman at the Girl Walks Into a Bar premiere in Los Angeles:

Josh Brolin should thank his lucky stars that he escaped the evil clutches of Scientology. He’s revealed that he had a close encounter with Scientology, John Travolta, Marlon Brando, and a blow job. Okay, I made that last part up, but it’s really not a stretch. Says Digital Spy,

Josh Brolin has described Scientology as “f**king bizarre”.

The actor admitted his brief experience with the religion’s “auditing” treatment – which he insisted took place during “a real moment of desperation” in his life – and also recalled an incident in which he witnessed John Travolta “practising Scientology” on Marlon Brando.

“I watched this process going on – it was very physical. I was thinking, ‘This is really f**king bizarre!’” he recalled to The New Yorker.

“Then, after ten minutes, Brando opens his eyes and says, ‘That really helped. I actually feel different!’”

Brolin went on to say that he does not understand Scientology’s appeal to its famous members such as Travolta and Tom Cruise, adding: “Each has a good head on his shoulders, they make great business decisions, they seem to have wonderful families. Is that because they were helped by Scientology?”

Reps for Travolta have denied the incident with Brando.

C’mon, read between the lines, people. Closet gay John Travolta performing some “very physical” act on Brando, who’s got that well-known fellatio pic that’s been floating around for years? Yeah. I bet that really helped.

Josh Brolin, along with some Malin Akerman thrown in for good measure at the Bvlgari Private Event Honoring Simon Fuller And Paul Haggis To Benefit Save The Children And Artists For Peace And Justice, Which Has Got to be the Longest Title for Any Benefit:

You probably never noticed it before, but Malin Åkerman’s name has a tiny circle on it. Like this little dot, right over the A. Circle… dot… Jesus, does anybody else see where this is going? This is clearly part of some diabolical plot by the Swiss to preternaturally immunize against cooties without ever having to administer the shot! My God. It was right in front of me the whole time. Everything I thought I knew about the third grade recess dynamic is a lie! Also: boobs.

A couple of these are NSFW:

I’m not exactly sure where the editors of Maxim went wrong with this year’s Hot 100 List, but I think a safe bet is sometime around the year 1996, or “the last time the words ‘Jennifer Love Hewitt’ and ‘hot’ were used in a sentence without referencing fudge sundaes” as it’s known to the rest of the modern world.

Your “Top 100″ — 1. Olivia Wilde; 2. Megan Fox; 3. Bar Rafaeli; i4. Malin Akerman; 5. Mila Kunis;6. Eliza Dusku; 7. Adriana Lima; 8. Rihanna; 9. Jordana Brewster; 10. Jennifer Love Hewitt:

The equally disappointing 31-100 listed after the jump

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