Here’s an unexpected Hollywood hookup: Chandler and that girl from all those crappy teen movies. Page Six reports

Mandy Moore, 27, and Matthew Perry, 38 [were seen] on a date at Amici Trattoria in Beverly Hills. One source said, “He was already seated and waited for her for 15 minutes until she arrived. He stood up to greet her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. They were holding hands across the table and being really close and laughing a lot the whole time.”

I’ll believe “laughing a lot” when I see it. If it doesn’t involve a transgendered parent or the phrase “Could I be any more of a…,” I’m afraid it’s just not funny. Tens years of primetime and an eternity of syndication can’t lie! Nielsons are second only to Jesus in the truth department. And as far as the crap department goes, well, the bastards own the place. How else do you explain “Family Matters” being on the air? You’re gonna have to stop listing it as “an act of God” on your insurance claims. That’s fraud, buddy.

Mandy at the ‘Pleasure Places’ book release on October 24th:

So the Grammy Awards were last night. I took minute-by-minute notes as show progressed so that those of you who didn’t catch it could enjoy the full Grammys experience. Oh, and I put up a shot of Jennifer Aniston topless, just because.

7:58 p.m. — Two minutes ’till showtime. Two bottles of liquor, a microwave burrito, and half a pack of cigarettes just within reach for maximum viewing pleasure.

8:00 p.m. — The show opens with Sting and The Police performing their hit song “Roxanne.” I play that fun drinking game where one of you drinks whenever Sting sings “Put on the red light” and the other person drinks whenever he sings “Roxanne.” But there was just me, so I had a lot of drinking to do. Still fun.

8:05 p.m. — One bottle of Jager, one burrito, eight smokes left.

8:30 p.m. — The phone rings. An ex-boyfriend wants to “come over and talk.” Probably without his pants. I say no, I’m doing important work right now. He argues. During this phone call somebody won something, possibly the Dixie Chicks, who won approximately 7,426 Grammys last night.

8:45 p.m — Justin Timberlake looks gay while singing one of his lame-ass songs. I mean really gay. I feed the burrito to the dog because I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.

9:12 p.m. — Mary J. Blige wins “Best R & B Song.”

9:30 p.m. — Something weird is in my belly button. It has a smell. I do a couple of shots of Jager.

10:15 p.m. — Somebody else wins something, but the dog has diarrhea courtesy of the beef burrito, so I’m too busy cleaning it up to notice.

10:28 p.m. — I balance my cigarette on the arm of the couch to better inspect my belly button.

10:31 p.m. — Carrie Underwood wins “Best New Artist” and the Dixie Chicks win something else, probably “Most Useless Who-Gives-a-Shit Band.”

10:37 p.m. — I notice the couch is smoldering.

10:38 p.m. — Note to self: Jager does NOT put out a fire.

10:40 p.m.– The smoke alarm goes off.

10:48 p.m. — The dog has more diarrhea. Justin Timberlake wins “Best Dance Recording.” The two are not related. Or are they?

10:52 p.m. — I throw up.

11: 12 p.m. — I throw up again.

3:47 a.m. — I wake up. It seems that the Grammys are over. The couch is completely charred on one side, there’s puke in my hair, and the whole room smells like ass. Dog ass. I wish I still had my burrito.

And there you have it. It’s like you were there, wasn’t it? For the complete list of the night’s winners, click here.

All of the fug after the jump

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Mandy Moore has hit back at actor Wilmer Valderrama, who claimed on Howard Stern’s radio show he took her virginity, in addition to having sex with every major starlet in Hollywood. Moore blasted the actor, who has no prospects on the horizon right now other than to play Ponch in a movie remake of the TV series CHiPS. She says:

“I am so saddened that people stretch as far as they do in attempting to spread gossip that, at the end of the day, is just downright hurtful. I know rumors and falsities will continue to exist and its the world we live in…but c’mon people.. If you’re gonna spread trash and gossip, there should be a line drawn on issues that you just don’t go near! Regardless, I’m not going to respond anymore publicly than here on my own website as it would probably make the originators of this ridiculousness happy and fuel their little fire.”

Moore is not the first celebrity to come out about Valderrama’s claims. Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt called Wilmer a liar. But it seems their memory is short. Here’s what Moore told Newsweek on April 24th:

“He was my first boyfriend. I started quite the trend, didn’t I? Ladies love them some Wilmer. He’s a good guy. I actually still keep in touch with him. I think people make him out to be this crazy ladies’ man, but he’s such a gentleman. My parents loved him.”

So who’s lying now? I bet all those starlets tasted some of Wilmer’s Mexican seafood.

Source

Some years ago, Wilmer Valderrama came to Hollywood on a mission: to have sex with as many female celebrities his penis could afford to. And he just did it. Yesterday, he spilled all regarding his Hollywood conquests during an interview with Howard Stern that aired on Sirius Satellite Network:

Among his revelations were that Lindsay Lohan was one of the best girls he’s ever had slept with, Ashlee Simpson was loud in bed and he rated Jennifer Love Hewitt an “eight” out of ten when it came to sex. The actor talked about his sexual prowess in detail, claiming that he has been with two women at once and also engaged in anal sex with a famous actress, who he refused to name. The star discussed dating singer/actress Mandy Moore, whom he met when she guest starred on his hit show, saying they were each other’s “first loves”. Valderrama claims he is “blessed” when it comes to penis size, clocking in at “slightly bigger” than eight inches (20 centimetres). He also revealed that he has videotaped his sexual escapades on numerous occasions, but erased the tapes to keep them from being linked on the internet.

Some will say he’s a man whore, but he’s just doing what any pirate would do in his position: drink, fuck and forget.

Source