I’m going to do things a little backwards today and start with the S.S. because the Victoria’s Secret fashion show was last night, and it’s the best thing you’re gonna see all day. Trust me, it’s all downhill from here. Kinda like my life for the last fifteen years.

UPDATE: Moving this to the top of the page so you can abuse it all weekend. You’re welcome!

Ana Beatriz Barros, Selita Ebanks, Erin Heatherton and Isabel Goulart after the jump.

Heidi Klum:

Alessandra Ambrosio:

Miranda Kerr:

Marisa Miller and Doutzen Kroes:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

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I don’t know why Marisa Miller posted these pictures on her blog, but I also don’t care because her breasts are pretty much the most interesting thing that’s happened all damn day.

This is the only known remedy for the fuckery that was the previous Adam Lambert post: lots of Victoria’s Secret model Marisa Miller in a bikini. Take two pictures twice an hour with a full glass of scotch and call me in the morning. Or don’t call me in the morning. Whatever. It’s not like any of the other guys I bring home ever do, anyway.

Marisa with some other models for a VS swimsuit catalog shoot in Saint Barthelemy:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

Amazon.com says that the new book Room 23 chronicles “a year in the life of a penthouse suite in a hotel in Beverly Hills” through a series of photographs of “Hollywood’s characters and elite” as shot by Deborah Anderson. Some of the guests include Cindy Crawford, Heidi Klum and Marisa Miller (above), which is all well and good, but I still think the book fails to capture the raw animalism and élan vital of my new book, “Room 517 at the Motel 6 off Highway 44 in Poughkeepsie.” I used real truck stop hookers and everything.

This is some kind of photoshoot, or… I dunno, something or other for the Victoria’s Secret Swim Collection.  I don’t know what the hell Marisa Miller thinks she’s doing wearing a dress at a Victoria’s Secret swimwear photoshoot, but I can only guess that she hates you all since she so clearly refuses to do her job properly.

Overdressed with two random bikini models:

I’m sure you woke up this morning with several unanswered questions churning inside your head — “What day is it?” “Where am I?” “Is that pee?” and “Who won the American Country Music Awards 2009 Entertainer of the Year?” Well, worry no more, my friends. All the answers you need are right here. People Magazine says

Carrie Underwood became the first woman since 2001 to be named ACM entertainer of the year – and only the seventh female to win the Academy of Country Music’s top honor since it was first handed out in 1970.

Underwood also took home the award for top female vocalist, a repeat of last year’s win.

The answers to the rest of your questions are: Monday, a Tijuana bus station, and yes, respectively. Now might be a good time to check your anus for fissures.

Marisa Miller:

Kelli Pickler:

Leann Rimes:

Taylor Swift:

Carrie Underwood:

Nicole Kidman, Matthew McConaughey, Miley Cyrus and lots more after the jump.

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These Marisa Miller pictures aren’t any newer than the Heidi Klum ones from the other day, but they’re making the rounds again because of the new Russell James book.  However, since Marisa is at least 50% naked in every shot, I’m guessing none of you will care how old the photos are.

If the artsy fartsy black & white stuff is too highbrow for your hillbilly ass, how ’bout some colour?

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In honor of Yeeeah’s commitment to being green, I’m recycling these pictures of Victoria’s Secret supermodel Marisa Miller modeling Inca swimwear in 2005. If you have any complaints regarding the content of today’s post, please send them to: “What Are You, Gay? c/o Boo-fucking-Hoo, ATTN: It’s Fucking Marisa Miller, You Homo.” Yeeeah thanks you for your patronage and encourages you to stay environmentally friendly all year round!

Here are some vintage pics of Victoria’s Secret supermodel Marisa Miller playing basketball topless. Scientists agree, it’s the only way hot chicks should ever participate in group sports, unless it’s in in tear-away Catholic school girl uniforms and covered in massage oil. You can’t argue with science, baby!

NSFW in Perfect Ten magazine:

I have a feeling that the kind of people who go around taking pictures of supermodels without any makeup on are the same kind of people who like ripping the beard off the department store Santa Claus at Christmas. Bastards.

Victoria’s Secret supermodel Marisa Miller backstage and bare-faced:

Victoria’s Secret Angels Marisa Miller and Sellita Ebanks took a little break from shooting their new ad campaign to have fun in the water yesterday. It’s kinda hard to differentiate when they’re working from when they’re taking a break, because it all looks exactly the same when you’re a model. Whereas I can always tell I’m not working. When I’m not wearing elbow-length plastic gloves and squeegeeing pig entrails into a floor drain, I’m not working. Simple as that. Maybe Selita and Marisa should try working at a slaughterhouse for minimum wage and learn the goddamn difference.

I don’t know about you, but after looking at these pictures of supermodel Marisa Miller in her bikini, I suddenly have a hankerin’ for a little ice cream. Some Caramel Pecan Nipple, maybe. A little Juggmocha Almond Fudge. Or a classic, like Strawboobies and Cream. Oh, who are we kidding? I’ll probably just eat all three straight out of the carton while sobbing on the couch in my sweatpants. No reason today should be any different.