I don’t know what God was doing when he made Marisa Miller, but I bet when he was done, it involved giving Jesus a high-five.
Marisa in the May issue of Esquire:
If I’d have known that having skin cancer would make Marisa Miller get naked, I would have wrapped myself in tinfoil and spent the last four months a tanning bed smoking Marlboros through an asbestos filter. My grandma made it sound like it wasn’t any fun at all.
Almost as good fully dressed at the Spike Awards:
PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures
Marisa Miller dons a brunette Mia Wallace-style wig in a sexy photo shoot for 944 magazine. I wouldn’t mind giving her a foot massage, if you know what I’m saying. Rowr.
God and damn, Marisa Miller. That is all.
“The Fat Bob is great and all, but it’s a shame there isn’t one of the New 48″ is probably NOT what you’re thinking when you see these pictures of Marisa Miller for Harley-Davidson. What you’re probably thinking is “How do I get my hands on a hotpants denim onesie like hers?” I don’t know for sure, but Ricky Martin’s closet seems like a safe bet. Fag.
Model Marisa Miller continues honing and fine-tuning her craft in the new Victoria’s Secret spring/summer swimsuit catalog, coming soon to a mailbox near you. She artfully resurrects such favorites as “Marisa Miller in a Red Bikini” and “Marisa Miller in a Black Bikini,” but branches out into new territory with “Marisa Miller in a Purple Bikini” and “Marisa Miller in a Pink Bikini.” Really thought-provoking stuff right here. Never have such depth and dimension ever been seen in one pair of tits! This shoot ought to really turn the entire modeling world on its ear.
Now that his wife Brooke Mueller checked herself into rehab earlier this month, Charlie Sheen decided to follow suit and check himself into rehab yesterday. But not the same rehab, because that might be awkward. According to TMZ
Charlie Sheen voluntarily checked himself into rehab and there was “no one big thing that happened that made him go.”
Charlie will spend two weeks in rehab. He will get outpatient treatment once he checks out.
So if he’s in rehab, and his wife is in rehab, then who’s watching the kids? Um, probably the drug counselors, because the kids are also in rehab:
Charlie Sheen’s wife, Brooke Mueller, currently has the couple’s two children at the rehab facility she’s at.
Mueller’s rehab facility allows children, and Brooke’s kids are with her right now.
Ah. I see. It might be too soon in their young lives for the kiddies to ride a bike without training wheels or use the big kid swings on the playground, but it’s never too early to voluntarily incarcerate them bunch of alcoholics and drug addicts consumed with sexual issues. My stupid parents did it all wrong.
And now old pics of Marisa Miller topless. because her body hasn’t been ravaged by crack cocaine and whiskey bloat (all thumbs NSFW):
I’m going to do things a little backwards today and start with the S.S. because the Victoria’s Secret fashion show was last night, and it’s the best thing you’re gonna see all day. Trust me, it’s all downhill from here. Kinda like my life for the last fifteen years.
UPDATE: Moving this to the top of the page so you can abuse it all weekend. You’re welcome!
Ana Beatriz Barros, Selita Ebanks, Erin Heatherton and Isabel Goulart after the jump.
Heidi Klum:
Alessandra Ambrosio:
Miranda Kerr:
Marisa Miller and Doutzen Kroes:
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin
I don’t know why Marisa Miller posted these pictures on her blog, but I also don’t care because her breasts are pretty much the most interesting thing that’s happened all damn day.
This is the only known remedy for the fuckery that was the previous Adam Lambert post: lots of Victoria’s Secret model Marisa Miller in a bikini. Take two pictures twice an hour with a full glass of scotch and call me in the morning. Or don’t call me in the morning. Whatever. It’s not like any of the other guys I bring home ever do, anyway.
Marisa with some other models for a VS swimsuit catalog shoot in Saint Barthelemy:
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin
Amazon.com says that the new book Room 23 chronicles “a year in the life of a penthouse suite in a hotel in Beverly Hills” through a series of photographs of “Hollywood’s characters and elite” as shot by Deborah Anderson. Some of the guests include Cindy Crawford, Heidi Klum and Marisa Miller (above), which is all well and good, but I still think the book fails to capture the raw animalism and élan vital of my new book, “Room 517 at the Motel 6 off Highway 44 in Poughkeepsie.” I used real truck stop hookers and everything.
This is some kind of photoshoot, or… I dunno, something or other for the Victoria’s Secret Swim Collection. I don’t know what the hell Marisa Miller thinks she’s doing wearing a dress at a Victoria’s Secret swimwear photoshoot, but I can only guess that she hates you all since she so clearly refuses to do her job properly.
Overdressed with two random bikini models:
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