I’m sure you woke up this morning with several unanswered questions churning inside your head — “What day is it?” “Where am I?” “Is that pee?” and “Who won the American Country Music Awards 2009 Entertainer of the Year?” Well, worry no more, my friends. All the answers you need are right here. People Magazine says

Carrie Underwood became the first woman since 2001 to be named ACM entertainer of the year – and only the seventh female to win the Academy of Country Music’s top honor since it was first handed out in 1970.

Underwood also took home the award for top female vocalist, a repeat of last year’s win.

Marisa Miller:

Kelli Pickler:

Leann Rimes:

Taylor Swift:

Carrie Underwood:

Nicole Kidman, Matthew McConaughey, Miley Cyrus and lots more after the jump.

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These Marisa Miller pictures aren’t any newer than the Heidi Klum ones from the other day, but they’re making the rounds again because of the new Russell James book.  However, since Marisa is at least 50% naked in every shot, I’m guessing none of you will care how old the photos are.

If the artsy fartsy black & white stuff is too highbrow for your hillbilly ass, how ’bout some colour?

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In honor of Yeeeah’s commitment to being green, I’m recycling these pictures of Victoria’s Secret supermodel Marisa Miller modeling Inca swimwear in 2005. If you have any complaints regarding the content of today’s post, please send them to: “What Are You, Gay? c/o Boo-fucking-Hoo, ATTN: It’s Fucking Marisa Miller, You Homo.” Yeeeah thanks you for your patronage and encourages you to stay environmentally friendly all year round!

Here are some vintage pics of Victoria’s Secret supermodel Marisa Miller playing basketball topless. Scientists agree, it’s the only way hot chicks should ever participate in group sports, unless it’s in in tear-away Catholic school girl uniforms and covered in massage oil. You can’t argue with science, baby!

NSFW in Perfect Ten magazine:

I have a feeling that the kind of people who go around taking pictures of supermodels without any makeup on are the same kind of people who like ripping the beard off the department store Santa Claus at Christmas. Bastards.

Victoria’s Secret supermodel Marisa Miller backstage and bare-faced:

Victoria’s Secret Angels Marisa Miller and Sellita Ebanks took a little break from shooting their new ad campaign to have fun in the water yesterday. It’s kinda hard to differentiate when they’re working from when they’re taking a break, because it all looks exactly the same when you’re a model. Whereas I can always tell I’m not working. When I’m not wearing elbow-length plastic gloves and squeegeeing pig entrails into a floor drain, I’m not working. Simple as that. Maybe Selita and Marisa should try working at a slaughterhouse for minimum wage and learn the goddamn difference.

I don’t know about you, but after looking at these pictures of supermodel Marisa Miller in her bikini, I suddenly have a hankerin’ for a little ice cream. Some Caramel Pecan Nipple, maybe. A little Juggmocha Almond Fudge. Or a classic, like Strawboobies and Cream. Oh, who are we kidding? I’ll probably just eat all three straight out of the carton while sobbing on the couch in my sweatpants. No reason today should be any different.

I’m pretty sure this is what heaven is supposed to look like. Except, you know, topless.

Pictures from Spike TV’s 2008 Video Game Awards:

Marisa Miller:

Stacy Keibler:

Eliza Dushku:

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Here’s a little news that ought to make you smile: attention whore Kim Kardashian found herself kicked off Miami Beach on Saturday to make way for a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot, presumably because they didn’t want her giant ass blocking the sunlight. The Daily Mail reveals

The reality television star was lapping up the paparazzi attention as she hit the beach in a black bikini, only to be told to move aside to make way for a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot. Photographers were assembled on the sand to snap the lingerie models for the grand reopening of the Fontainebleau Resort.

Never one to shy away from a photo opportunity, Kim, her younger sister and Kristin Cavallari conveniently appeared on the foreshore and proceeded to pose up for the cameras. However the black-clad trio were soon asked to leave by security guards.

There’s a much easier way to round up Kim Kardashian. Firing a pistol in the air and sending in a herding dog usually does the trick if you don’t have a cattle prod handy. So does waving a black man’s penis around or danglng in front of her face, just out of reach. Those dumb security guards were going about it all wrong.

Make way for genetic superiority:

The Victoria’s Secret Angels strutted their stuff down the catwalk at a lavish show the newly-renovated Fontainebleau hotel in Miami this past weekend. There were the requisite feathers, the elaborate costuming, the diamond brassieres, and oh, yes — the boobies. Boobies, boobies, boobies. I sure hope none of you girls out there woke up feeling good about yourselves today! Nothing’s a better antidote for self-affirmation and esteem like 800 pictures of the world’s most perfect bodies. If it makes you feel any better, angel Karolina Kurkova doesn’t have a belly button (close up here). They have to photoshop one on her in shoots. Disgusting freak. Anyway, if you’ll excuse me now, I have some cutting and purging to do. Laxatives don’t just ingest themselves, you know!

Oh, look.  Here are Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Karolina Kurkova, and Marisa Miller.  They’re doing some sort of bikini shoot for Victoria’s Secret.  I’m not sure where they are.  Admittedly, it would involve minimal effort on my part to find out, but who are we kidding here?  No one cares where they are.  No one even gives half a shit about Victoria’s Secret, except for the fact that their corporate motto is “Boobs are Awesome!  Yay Boobs!”

I don’t know anything about motorcycles, but I guess there’s some new bike called the Harley Davidson V-Rod Muscle.  It looks… bikey?  I don’t know.  No one cares anyway.  However, there’s a supermodel draped on top of it, so there you go.  You’re welcome.