Liar! Deceiver! Jennifer Aniston is a bra stuffer. Get ready to have your heart ripped right out of your chest penis ripped right out of your hand, boys. Gatecrasher says

Jennifer Aniston is a fan of “pokies,” plastic nips that slide in under a woman’s bra. “Jennifer loves these things, because they really make the most of her assets when she’s wearing a tight top,” a source blabs.

Wait — those things are supposed to be fake nipples? And all this time I’ve been wearing them as novelty neck acne! No wonder I never “captured the hearts of men everywhere.” That stupid box should have been more specific.

Jen and her deceptive breasts at the “Marley and Me” premiere:

Forget all that earlier Kate Hudson business — Owen Wilson has reportedly fallen for his “Marley and Me” co-star Jennifer Aniston! Star Magazine says

“His chemistry with Jen was instantaneous! The hugging didn’t end when the cameras stopped rolling. They were very flirty together, far more than you would expect. In between takes they were hanging onto each other. Jen is known for being a recluse on set, but she’s having so much fun with Owen. She’s just really happy.”

All I can say is any offspring of those two ought to be able to smell the number 9 and the color blue, not to mention successfully smoke a cigar in the shower.