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31-year-old Christina Aguilera got shit-faced at the Samsung Galaxy Note II launch party last month and tried to convince Disney starlet Vanessa Hudgens to come home with her and boyfriend Matt Rutler for a night of erotic delights. Or possibly a night of eating frosting straight from the can. I don’t know, I wasn’t there. Radar Online says:

The fellow reveler said Aguilera looked like “a hot mess in black stretch pants and wrinkled white T-shirt. There were vodka bottles strewn all over her table… eventually Matt looked like he had taken on the role of babysitter.”

“She spent a lot of time on the dance floor gyrating next to Vanessa… the more Christina drank, the more her kinky side seemed to come out.”

But Hudgens refused to go home with Aguilera and her boyfriend of two years.

“Out of the blue [Christina] stumbled over to Vanessa and begged her to come back home with her and Matt!” the partygoer [said]. “Vanessa was taken aback but smiled and politely declined the offer.”

Nothing reinforces a relationship like twenty extra pounds, unchecked substance abuse and inviting a third person into the bedroom. In fact, in some circles, it’s actually referred to as “The Marriage Saving Trifecta.” I’m pretty sure Dr. Phil did a show about it.

Since I don’t have any way to gouge out your mind’s eye, I thought more pics from the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last night might help. You can play Angel with this gorgeous bra from Roberto Cavalli (or if you could use the padding, this bra from Mimi Holliday by Damarius is plenty sexy, too).

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Christina Aguilera and her latest husband Matthew Rutler both dressed up for Halloween this year, but I have no idea who or what they’re supposed to be. I’m gonna go with “Queen of the Homeless Prostitutes and her loyal companion, Sir Tiny Shield of the Order of the Short Sleeves.” Seems as good a guess as any.

P.S. If you’re going to wear fishnets (like these from Asos), try not to be so fat.

She might have filed for divorce from him back in October, but Christina Aguilera and ex-husband Jordan Bratman are still living together in the same house. With her new boyfriend. And the kid. No, that’s not weird at all. Nine MSN says:

Jordan Bratman is still living under the same roof as his wife of five years… and now her new fella Matthew Rutler has moved in.

“It’s gotten really awkward,” a friend of Christina’s tells the mag. “Jordan won’t leave the house!”

The singer is so upset that she broke down recently while knocking back vodka sodas with friends at an LA club.

“She was drinking and crying uncontrollably, talking about Jordan and the house,” said a witness. “She was working herself into more and more of a state.”

Sorry, but everything’s better in threes. Blind mice, wise men, fifths compromises — you name it. That’s why there’s three bottles of Jack within arm’s reach of me at all times. That it also happens to be the number of nipples I have is just a happy coincidence.

In L.A. with the new boyfriend here; by herself at the SAG Awards after the jump:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

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Christina Aguilera has been linked to Samantha Ronson in the weeks since her split from husband Jordan Bratman, but it seems she was spotted rubbing her tatas all over a set production assistant on her new movie before they even split up. Page Six says:

Sources tell us Aguilera got close to Matthew Rutler, a set assistant on ["Burlesque"], before splitting with husband Jordan Bratman in October. Rutler and Aguilera were spotted at Soho House in West Hollywood on Friday after a double date with Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.

Let’s see… a failed marriage, a failed album, and now a destined-to-fail movie. That’s what we in the industry refer to as the “hat trick of suckitude.” Perhaps you’ve seen my college transcripts.

Shooting “Burlesque” earlier this year:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

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