“Sex and the City” star Sarah Jessica Parker says she was crushed to discover she topped Maxim magazine’s “Unsexiest Women” list. In her defense, Maxim magazine is without a doubt the world’s douchiest magazine¹ with a less than stellar history when it comes to determining what is “sexy” in the first place. Let the record show that Britney Spears topped their sexiest list on more than one occasion, along with Lindsay “Dirty Sanchez” Lohan and Christina “Tranny-licious” Aguilera. That noted, Sarah Jessica told The Daily Mail

“Do I have big fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in men’s magazine? Maybe not. Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It’s kind of shocking… It’s so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger.

“It upset [my husband Matthew Broderick], because it has to do with his judgment too. It’s condemnation, it’s insane. What can I do? I guess you can’t please all people.”

Well, I think that’s what she said. As long as six foot stamps, one whinny and three tail swishes still translates the same. The last part might have been something about youth-obsessed culture and her saddle chafing.

¹_{Right after Douchebag Weekly and Douche & Garden, respectively}

SJP at the ShoWest Awards last week: