In his interview with Details magazine, Shia LaBeouf claimed he hooked up with co-star Megan Fox while they were shooting the Transformers movies. I called bullshit on him, but it turns out he was telling the truth after all. And as for Megan’s now-husband Brian Austin Green, it seems at the time, they had briefly gone their separate ways, leaving the door wide open for Shia. Us Magazine says:

“Yes, Megan and Shia hooked up,” a set source confirms.

“But It was when Megan and Brian broke up,” the source explains. “They had a 10-month break before getting back together.” (Indeed, Fox and Green, 36, did have a break of nearly a year before reuniting and eventually tying the knot in June 2010.)

So Megan’s defense is “we were on a break?” It didn’t work for Ross Geller, and it doesn’t work now. It’s almost as bad as recycling a running gag from “Friends.” I think we both should be ashamed.

I would read Cat Fancy or Progressive Grocer before I ever picked up a copy of any magazine that claimed Shia LaBeouf was “the most honest and complex actor alive,” but Details does just that in their latest issue. In the interview, Shia bitches, moans, pisses and complains no less than 17 times before claiming he boned Megan Fox in the next-to-last paragraph. Always wanna end on a high note, those honest and complex types. Details says:

Asked if he hooked up with Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.”

When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know,” repeating the phrase exactly 12 times with various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.”

If you had banged Megan Fox, you’d be shouting it from the damn rooftops, not shaking your head in befuddlement before coming up with some infuriatingly evasive cliche like “it was what it was.” That’s the kind of cop-out answer that falls under the heading “Vague and Nondescript Answers You Give Your Buddies When You Get Denied,” along with such favorites as “well, stuff happened” and “sorry, but I don’t kiss and tell.”

PHOTO SOURCE: Details Magazine

Kelly Brook’s Esquire cover is superior to Megan Fox’s October 2008 GQ cover in every sense of the word possible. And by “word” I of course mean “boobs.”

In next month’s Esquire + an older bikini shoot:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

The nice folks behind the release of Armani Code Sport are running a promotion–get a FREE Megan Foxbot®* with your purchase of a 4.2 oz. or larger bottle of the intoxicating new fragrance! While supplies last.

^{*The Megan Foxbot® comes without warranty and may malfunction. User is liable for any injury that occurs while using the unit and understands that the Armani company assumes no responsibility for any personal harm that may come to the user. This includes, but is not limited to, penile injury and/or dismemberment as a result of attempting to use said robot unit as a sexual toy, emotional distress and/or trauma in case of unit bitching at you like your ex-girllfriend, or forcible viewing of Jennifer’s Body or Jonah Hex.}

You’ve already seen Megan Fox almost naked in her ads for Armani, but what you didn’t see was footage from the shoot itself. I propped my laptop on the pillow next to me and pretended to feed her grapes and clink imaginary champagne glasses while I watched it, but feel free to do it however you want. It’s not like there’s any hard and fast rules for watching something. Not unless you’re at an elementary school play, in which case they’re very stringent about wearing pants. Philistines.

Screen caps:

The only way I’d be able to tell this was Megan Fox would be by the stupid “we will all laugh at the gilded butterflies” tattoo on her back. Like it’s not enough that they’ve ‘Shopped her face into oblivion, these days she’s looking more like a alien with a skinjob than what she used to look like before, so I would really not be able to tell it’s her.

Planning on impregnating the gullible human:

Megan Fox’s career hasn’t exactly taken off since she abandoned the Transformers franchise — “Jonah Hex” and “Jennifer’s Body” were both huge box office flops, and her latest movie “Passion Play” is being sent straight to the five-dollar DVD bin at your local Wal-Mart. The Daily Mail says:

The 24-year-old actress’ movie Passion Play premiered at the Toronto Film Festival in September but is now being released — straight to DVD.

After numerous viewers walked out of the screening in Canada last year and critics branded it ‘awful’, a ‘mess’ and ‘an absolute car wreck’, the distributes have apparently cut their losses.

Passion Play is about an angel who is under the thumb of a ruthless gangster and is saved by a trumpet player down on his luck.

There’s “wooden,” and there’s “catatonic,” and then there’s Megan Fox. She makes Jessica Simpson look like Meryl fucking Streep.

Screen caps from the movie:

Megan Fox put these two baby pictures up on her Facebook with the caption “I look like Steve Buscemi!” Come on. She looks nothing like Steve Buscemi and she knows it. If she looks like anybody, it’s Bert from Sesame Street. I’ve never seen a little kid with so much damn eyebrow.

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

I bet Megan Fox went with “We will all laugh at gilded butterflies” and “Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music” because the word “poser” didn’t have enough letters to cover her whole back. Here, I’ve got one for you: “Those who suck are oft blissfully unaware of how unbearably stupid they are.”

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

What in the holy hell happened to Megan Fox? She showed up at the Golden Globes looking like she was fresh off a year in a concentration camp. And not just any concentration camp, but a concentration camp where they make you wear a hornet’s nest as a helmet while Ike Turner works out his anger issues on your face. The only way this makes any sense is if Brian Austin Green’s penis is really an evil amulet filled with poison and laxatives.

Wearing the latest in breast-binding rhinestone seatbelts:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Here’s an Alexei Hay photoshoot of Megan Fox all wet and writhey at the beach. Ooh, look at me, I’m Megan Fox, I’m hot. Snore. That’s so been done already. How about doing something original and fresh, like a not-so-hot girl with a club foot and maybe a lazy eye? She could also be suffering from Alopecia. Doesn’t that sound interesting? Don’t you want to see that girl? Agents, it’s your lucky day. Call me!

More wet and hot action:

Women’s fashion magazine Elle is celebrating their 25th anniversary with the release of four different covers starring four of their “25 Most Notable Women Under 25″: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Lauren Conrad (really?), and “Precious” actress Gabourey Sidibe. Of course, people everywhere are now subsequently outraged that they can only make out one of Gabourey’s three stomachs on her cover, whereas the rest of the WASP-y actresses boast full body shots on theirs. Nine MSN says:

Precious star Gabourey Sidibe is actually 27, but that’s not what everyone’s freaking out about.

The people at Elle have come under fire for their rather ruthless cropping of the overweight star. While slimmer ladies Megan Fox, Lauren Conrad and Amanda Seyfried are all shown in full body shots, Gabourey’s cover is a close up of just her face.

And to really ramp up the controversy, some bloggers are claiming the African American star’s skin has been digitally lightened.

Well, there’s no doubt she’s been digitally lightened. She’s a nice shade of cafe mocha on the cover; in real life, she’s more of a La Brea tar pit (comparison photo here) hue. When Elle finally comes out with a coffee table book, I’m sure they’ll finally have room to fit the rest of her body in the picture.