News broke late yesterday afternoon that Megan Fox had been fired from the third installation of the Transformers movie. This coming from somebody who hasn’t seen a single one of the Transformers movies and won’t ever see a single one of the Transformer movies, unless Russian spies tie me to a chair and hook a car battery up to my nipples and forcibly pry my eyelids open to make me watch it in their misguided attempts to make me turn on my own country. Then I’d be willing to take one for the team in the name of national security. Some might even call me a hero. Yahoo News says:

A source at Paramount told Access Hollywood that Megan, who played star Shia LaBeouf’s love interest in the franchise, would not return for the third movie, [saying] that in order to take Shia’s character in a new direction, it was better if Sam wasn’t tied down to a love interest.

Perhaps instead of calling Michael Bay Hitler and publicly bashing the movie, she should have shown a little gratitude for being given the opportunity to bend over and look pretty in his piece of shit movie. But I guess none of that really matters, because it was Megan Fox who quit that bitch anyway, not the other way around.

Reps for the actress [claimed] that it was Megan’s decision to leave the movie.

“Megan Fox will not be starring in ‘Transformers 3,’” the reps told People magazine. “It was her decision not to return. She wishes the franchise the best.”

Except maybe not:

Nikki Finke, who first reported the news for Deadline that Megan was out, claimed that decision was “ultimately” director Michael Bay’s.

Sorry, but you can’t get fired if you quit first. Those are the rules. That’s what those little asterisks next to the employment history section of my résumé very clearly state.

Filming “Passion Play” with Mickey Rourke earlier this month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin Online

You can’t expect much from the man who brought you Decepticon testicles and illiterate jive-talking robots, but rarely do so many lingerie-clad models and tons of explosives produce such a feeling of profound disappointment. Welcome to Michael Bay’s vision of the Victoria’s Secret commercial, where everything’s shot from the ankle up, the camera never stops moving, slow motion is king, and fire has just as much screen time as the boobs! I think it’s time someone finally takes this one-trick pony out back and shoots him.

Screen caps:

Seriously, there is just no escaping these bitches.  You can’t run, you can’t hide… Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf will always find you.  I don’t actually hate either one of them, though.  I think they both have a tendency to act borderline retarded about 75% of the time, but really, who in Hollywood doesn’t?   Besides, mouthy and crazy are way the hell better than boring.  Anyway, the point is, Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf have both been winning me over a little bit against my will lately, and I really love me some giant fighting robots, but even I am getting kinda burned out on this Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen international press junket rampage.  Just nine more days until the movie comes out… I think we can make it if we knuckle down with enough alcohol.

Megan Fox at the UK premiere of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in London:

Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Bay at the Berlin premiere:

The world premiere of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen happened in Tokyo, which means we are one step closer to the end of the press tour for this movie, when Megan Fox might finally shut the hell up for awhile.  Or at least until the press junkets for Jennifer’s Body and Jonah Hex.

Michael Bay with the cast at the world premiere in Tokyo:

Megan Fox:

Shia LaBeouf:

Josh Duhamel:

Isabel Lucas (yeah, I have no idea who she is, either):

More Than Meets the Eye: