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In his controversial interview by NBC that was taken days before his guilty verdict, Dr. Conrad Murray claims that Michael Jackson wet the bed. Gee, file that one under “Information I didn’t want to hear”. Female First says,

Despite being 50 years old at the time of his death from acute Propofol intoxication in 2009, the ‘Thriller’ singer’s personal doctor, Conrad Murray claims he regularly “peed the bed”.

Speaking in documentary ‘Michael Jackson and the Doctor: A Fatal Friendship’ Conrad, who was found guilty of the involuntary manslaughter of the late singer on Monday (07.11.11) said: “The bedroom that he slept in I had to persuade him, eventually to have it cleaned.

“He peed the bed. It did not smell good. It was mildew, and I had to get it clean.”

Dr. Murray also says he believes the singer may have had a psychological problem that caused him to wet himself, adding: “Who would ever believe that a man his age would still be wetting his bed?”

Also in the documentary which members of Michael’s family and the executors of his estate have attempted to stop from airing in the US later today (11.11.11) Dr. Murray claims he was the ‘Beat It’ star’s only friend.

He said: “I went there to take care of a healthy man, who said he was fine, to just keep surveillance. But once I got in there I was entrapped.

“He had very close acquaintances, but friends he did not have. He told me, ‘I’ve found one friend, which is you’.”

Saaad. Michael Jackson went from a very talented singer at the top of his game to that guy who doesn’t have any friends and wets the bed.  Sounds kind of like me actually, minus the part where I started at a high point. When you earn a name like “Betsy Wetsy” early on in childhood, it kind of dampens any motivation to succeed.

Cat Deeley in Hawaii, who probably doesn’t wet the bed:

 

Photo courtesy of TMZ.com

Michael Jackson and Lindsay Lohan have a posthumous connection–and no, it’s not because they’re both plastic white girls with a taste for drugs. Lindsay has hired the services of MJ’s former bodyguard. I hope that works out as well for her as it did for Michael. Says TMZ,

Lindsay Lohan had one hell of a greeter when she arrived to LAX on Wednesday — because the man who escorted her out of the airport was Michael Jackson’s former bodyguard Alberto Alvarez … the man who called 911 on the day MJ died.

Sources close to Lohan tell us … Lohan has NOT hired Alvarez on a permanent basis … and it’s unclear how the two hooked up in the first place.

Alvarez reportedly told LAPD detectives that Dr. Conrad Murray had asked him to hide bottles of Propofol in MJ’s house on the day the singer died.

It’s important to have a bodyguard that will do whatever he’s told to do, don’t you think? Like, “Hurry, stash this 8 ball up my ass before the cop sees it”. It’s always a good idea to have an helping hand with things like that. It takes a lot of scrubbing to get the smell of poop from under your nails, let me tell you.

Being escorted by the bodyguard of the year:

The American Music Awards were last night, but I didn’t watch them because I would rather watch zombies nom on brains (Walking Dead, anyone?). Speaking of dead people, did you know that as a body decomposes, it fills with gas, often resulting in the body farting and burping? I make this point because if you stuck a kazoo up a corpse’s ass, it would probably manage to make better music than what was being celebrated last night. Case in point: Justin Bieber swept up awards last night. Says Time News Feed:

Starting with Bieber, he won entertainer of the year, breakthrough artist of the year, favorite pop/rock male and favorite pop/rock album for My World 2.0. “I come from the smallest town in the world, of like 30,000 people; I never thought this was possible,” he gushed, before paying tribute to the late King of Pop. “I want to thank Michael Jackson, because without Michael Jackson none of us would be here.”

Hee-hee-hee. No music would exist without MJ? It’s the new music Gospel they’re teaching kids these days. “In the beginning was Michael Jackson, and the music was with God, and the music was Michael Jackson. He was God in the beginning. Through him all music was made; without him no music was made that has been made.” MJ 1:1-3. I think I hear all the music greats prior to MJ collectively turning in their graves.

A zombie’s smörgåsbord:

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Hi guys, it’s Sonya and I’ll be on board for the next two weeks. Michael Jackson was not only a collector of young boys, but of Nazi movies as well. Digital Spy reports,

Michael Jackson was allegedly a huge fan of movies featuring Adolf Hitler and the Nazis. According to Jackson’s distributor Norman Scherer, the Thriller legend’s ideal night in involved a documentary about the Third Reich followed up by a Judy Garland film. Scherer told the New York Post that Jackson had built up a “really good collection” by the time of his death, with titles such as “Nazis – Of Pure BloodOasis Of The Zombies” and “Hitler’s Children“. He also claimed that Jackson was a keen viewer of Garland TV specials and dramas depicting troubled boys in dysfunctional families.

I’m not shocked or anything, I’m just disappointed that it wasn’t a movie collection about troubled little Nazi Brownshirts singing show tunes while gnawing on non-Aryans.

Michael Jackson is alive and well and masquerading as a burn victim… at least according to a website that gets more than a million hits a day. Nine MSN says

According to the conspiracy theorists, Michael is masquerading as ‘Dave Dave,’ a 33-year-old burn victim who he befriended as a child.

MJ’s fans claim they have video evidence in the form of an interview Dave gave on Larry King last year. They say his voice and mannerisms are identical to Michael’s, and his eyes have changed from blue/green to brown. “There’s no doubt Michael Jackson is still alive. We have the evidence, now we want to let everyone know,” says a member of michaeljacksonhoaxforum.com.

Additionally, the MichaelJacksonHoaxForum.com administrator told The Sun:

“Michael Jackson attended Larry King Live on the day of the funeral disguised as Dave Dave.

The media told us two different stories. TMZ.com reported he died six minutes before the doctor pronounced him dead, and CNN kept telling us he was in a coma. What really happened still remains a mystery.”

If Michael Jackson is actually alive, he’s not going to go around pretending to be a damn burn victim. He can be anybody he wants to be, so why not pick something good? Like, say… and I’m just going out on a limb here — a pediatric urologist? I bet touching little boys’ wieners is waaay easier without constant media scrutiny and slings and arrows of public opinion. He’s finally free to live the life he always wanted!

The supposed “proof” (FF to the 2:17 mark) he’s Dave Dave:

Brooklyn Decker shooting scenes for Adam Sandler’s stupid new movie, because burn victims are kind of a boner-killer:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

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