Michael Jackson has only kinda-sorta sold his Neverland ranch — it has been revealed that company to which he transferred the deed is partially under his control. Pretty clever for a guy with no nose! According to the Associated Press

The singer filed a grant deed on the ranch Monday that makes the new owner an entity called the Sycamore Valley Ranch Co.

Sycamore Valley Ranch Co. is a joint venture between Jackson and an affiliate of Colony Capital LLC, according to a person with knowledge of the transaction who… requested anonymity.

Jackson had gone into default on the $24.5 million he owes on the property and had faced foreclosure before Colony Capital bailed him out earlier this year by purchasing his loan.

That way, when he finally makes his triumphant return as King of Pop, he can reclaim what is rightfully his without incident. Until then, internet chat rooms and heavily-treed playgrounds will have to suffice. You can take a man’s home, but you’ll never take his pedophilic fantasies!

Female First is reporting that Michael Jackson is hoping that his newest album is will reinstate him as the King of Pop.

Michael Jackson is determined to make his new album better than ‘Thriller’.

The 50-year-old singer is so desperate to ensure his comeback is a success, he has reportedly told songwriters he won’t release the LP unless it is up to the same standard as his 1982 smash-hit album.

Rapper Ne-Yo, who is working on the record, said: “Michael’s new album has to be amazing. This album needs to be better than ‘Thriller’. He wants killer melodies. I’ve already submitted some songs but we have no idea when it’s coming out. He keeps putting it off.”

I get it. You’ve been in a permanent nosedive for years, your albums suck, everyone thinks you’re a pedophile, your nose keeps falling off, Neverland is nevermore, so what’s a skinny white, non-biodegradable boy to do? You go back to what rocketed your career in the first place. There’s one teensy problem though. HE CAN’T SING ANYMORE. He’s been so used to using his creepy little baby voice, you know his vocal cords have atrophied like Stephen Hawking’s penis.
Cool thing is, nowadays Michael already looks like the undead, so at least that part’s taken care of!

Recent photos emerges that indicate the self-proclaimed “King of Pop” Michael Jackson may have undergone another bout of plastic surgery. Or else he papier-mâchéd his face as part of an elaborate piñata/haberdasher costume. It’s anybody’s guess, really. The New York Daily News says

Bandages covered the peculiar pop star’s chin and upper lip. Dark glasses, a babushka and a bucket hat hid the rest of his face - feeding speculation the surgically altered performer got nipped and tucked again. Thin-lipped and pale to the point of ghostly, Jackson’s [went] on a late-night shopping spree at a Barnes & Noble bookstore with his three kids, Prince, 10; Paris, 9, and 5-year-old Blanket. They arrived at 10:30 p.m. Sunday and stayed three hours before leaving with several crateloads of books and magazines.

And of course, armed with his trusty Havoc Staff and Panthor. From there he returned to Snake Mountain bellowing, “I am Master of the Universe! Yes! Kneel before your master! Fool! You are no longer my equal! I am more than man! More than life! I… am… a… GOD!!! Now. You… will... kneeeel! Kneeeel!” and then some maniacal laughing before his nose caved in on itself again.