Jun 10, 2009

The first promo pic has been released showing Mickey Rourke decked out as villain Whiplash for next summer’s Iron Man 2. I don’t read comic books, but I consulted The Google and learned that the movie character will be a combination of the comic book characters Whiplash and Crimson Dynamo, and… okay, look. Let’s not kid ourselves, people. Mickey Rourke is neat-o and I have no doubt that he’ll bring an interesting element to the hopefully asskicking Iron Man sequel, but this is really all just an elaborate excuse to post shirtless pictures of Robert Downey, Jr. again.
Rawrrrrr:






Mar 31, 2009

Since today has thus far been just as boring as yesterday, here are some time killing pictures of hot mess Mickey Rourke being all affectionate and charming with his so-homely-it’s-cute dog, “Jaws”. Because fuzzy animals cure boredom. It’s true.
That’s some bad hat, Harry:





Feb 18, 2009

Digital Spy reported this morning that Mickey Rourke inadvertently crashed Paris Hilton’s birthday party at Butter nightclub.
Hilton, who turned 28 on February 16, had hired New York’s Butter nightclub to celebrate her birthday with friends and family.
According to OK!, the Wrestler star arrived at the venue unannounced at around 2am, unaware that he was crashing a private party.
A source revealed that when one guest asked Rourke why he was at Hilton’s party, he replied: “Whose party? I’m not. I don’t know…We’re having our own party!”
The unnamed insider added that Rourke was a big hit with partygoers, who lavished him with attention and well-wishes for Sunday night’s Oscars.
Now, I really don’t know much about Mickey Rourke and I haven’t seen his new movie (watching a movie about wrestling isn’t exactly high on my want-to-see list), but if STDs had a face, don’t you think it would look an awful lot like Mickey? All greasy and sleazy-looking with loud clothes and gold chains and stuff. And Paris, well, she’s like a walking STD herself. So really, it’s like fate brought them together. Combine those two and you’d have the spokesman for Valtrex, like that walking phlegm-wad is for Mucinex. Need further convincing? Well, with the magic of bad photoshop, I’ve done a composite of their faces. I present to you, The New Face of STDs!

Jan 16, 2009

You know how in the beginning of Men In Black the hick farmer Edgar get eaten by that giant alien bug, who then conceals himself by wearing his skin, or “Edgar Suit”, as Will Smith’s character called it? That’s totally what I think of when I see Mickey Rourke these days. I mean, granted, I lot of time has passed since he looked like this, but this transcends the passage of time. I don’t believe it’s the same human being. I vote for the Mickey Suit!
Here he is with his ackward choice of a dog, Loki.





Jan 13, 2009

Golden Globe winner Mickey Rourke recently admitted he did steroids to prepare for his role in the new movie “The Wrestler.” No explanation as to his face, but I’m guessing he’s the victim of a chemical fire in his next movie. According to Starpulse
Rourke worked out twice a day with an Israeli cage fighter and gorged on seven meals a day to bulk up for the part [of heavyweight retired grappler Randy 'The Ram' Robinson]. But… he suggests he had a little extra help to speed up the process by indulging in a drug synonymous with the world of pro wrestling.
When asked if he took steroids, the star replies, “When I’m a wrestler, I behave like a wrestler.”
Which is exactly why I tell people I’m playing the role of an alcoholic single mother with a glandular issue and gonorrhea. I’m not a fat drunken slut; I’m a thespian!
At the Golden Globes:






Jun 18, 2008
Fact: If you find yourself eyeballing a testicle less than two feet from your face and you’re not a urologist or a moyle, you’re a gay. If that testicle happens to be squashed out of the side of a leather banana hammock by a guy in a cowboy hat standing over a man in a dress, you should go ahead and invest in a mushroom brush and a Bowflex and learn the difference between wainscoting and boiserie.
More of Mickey Rourke enjoying karaoke night at Rokbar in South Beach on Sunday: