Mila Kunis made good her promise to attend the Marine Corps Ball in Greenville, North Carolina with Sgt. Scott Moore this past Friday night. Ooh-rah, Scotty! People Magazine says:

The actress arrived to the venue just before 2:30 p.m., where she was quickly whisked away. The news station caught a shot of Kunis, 28, being escorted from the Pitt-Greenville Airport to the Greenville Convention Center.

The two were “enjoying the night,” Marine spokesperson Capt. Scott Sasser told Access Hollywood.

“She’s going to get a chance to learn about the Marine Corps, and we’re all going to have a great time celebrating the Marine Corps birthday,” Sasser said prior to the ball, which marked 236 years of military history.

If you were ever looking for the perfect woman, Mila Kunis is it. She’s drop-dead gorgeous, loves video games and Family Guy, she takes Marines on dates, and she dated that puss Macauly Culkin for like ten years straight. It makes you feel like you might actually have a shot.

Sorry for the delay in posts yesterday, but there was a website melt-down over those nude Scarlett Johansson pictures (now removed–hey, we prize our kneecaps). Well, if the interwebs are going to go down in a blaze of glory, I say there’s no nobler way to perish. However, the news has also come out that Mila Kunis’ cell phone has also been hacked. The Daily Mail says:

Just hours after nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson swept the internet – making her the victim of an unknown cell phone hacker – it appears that Mila Kunis has become the next target.

Several pictures have been leaked, reportedly taken on the actresses cell phone, showing her Friends With Benefits co-star Justin Timberlake in several compromising situations.

According to U.S website TMZ, the pictures show a shirtless Justin lying on a bed and in one he is wearing a pair of pink knickers on his head.

Another shot shows Mila in the bath, but all that is visible is her head.

The final shot is a highly explicit image of an unconfirmed male.

The hacker also released several text message conversations, claimed to be between Mila and Justin.

The couple, who shot the film over a period of several months at the end of 2010 and beginning of 2011, have long denied the rumours that they became intimate during filming.

Mila was apparently the smarter of the two women, knowing the dangers of keeping nude photos of yourself on your own phone. That’s exactly why I never keep nude self-portraits of myself on my phone. I prefer to send them to everyone else to keep on their phones. That way, a hacker wouldn’t know where to look. Brilliant, isn’t it?

Shots from next month’s FHM South Africa:

Charlie Sheen announced his triumphant return to TV yesterday with a show based on a 2003 Adam Sandler movie and produced by the same man behind “Young Guns” and “Major League.” Sounds riveting. Radar Online says:

The former Two and a Half Men star — whose career seemed to publicly implode just a few months ago — will star in Anger Management, a new TV sitcom based on the 2003 film of the same name.

“I chose Anger Management because, while it might be a big stretch for me to play a guy with serious anger management issues, I think it is a great concept,” Sheen said in a statement. “It also provides me the chance to be back in business with one of my favorite movie producers of all time, Joe Roth.”

At this time, we do not know which network would be airing the sitcom.

They don’t know which network is airing the sitcom because nobody’s picked it up yet. Ergo, he’s not really returning to television. Anybody can videotape themselves playing pretend and call it a pilot. The trick is getting someone to air that pilot on television. I’ve got six or seven hours’ worth of footage of me perfecting my light saber technique downstairs in the basement. That doesn’t mean I have television show. It just means I’m socially awkward and destined to die a virgin.

S.I. swimsuit model Irina Shayk and Mila Kunis at the “Friends with Benefits” premiere, because Charlie Sheen looks like some kind of old sea hag:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

After encouraging his “Friends with Benefits” co-star Mila Kunis to go on a date with a U.S. Marine stationed in Afghanistan, a female Marine has now propositioned Justin Timberlake to accompany her to her Marine Corps ball in December. Looks like the shoe’s on the other foot now! And by “shoe” I mean “size seven tactical combat boot.” The NY Daily News says:

Cpl. Kelsey De Santi, who is serving at the Martial Arts Center for Excellence in Quantico, took Kunis’ very public “yes” to be an opportunity for her to extend the military invitation to Timberlake.

“So, Justin, you wanna call out my girl Mila?” Cpl. De Santi says on the viral YouTube video. “Well, I’m gonna call you out and ask you to come to the Marine Corp Ball with me on Nov. 12 in Washington D.C. And if you can’t go, all I’ve gotta say is: ‘Cry me a river.’ Hit me up.”

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Cpl. De Santis is currently awaiting Timberlake’s reply.

It’s really the least Justin could do, given these kids stare down mortar rounds and rocket propelled grenades all day long in defense of our country. And before some asswipe starts calling me a moron for not seeing the “War on Terror” as sham propped up by our government’s imperialist agenda, I’d like to remind said asswipe that imperialism is what built our fucking country in the first place, so you wouldn’t even be here were it not for our long history of expansionist policy. A soldier’s life or limbs are not any less important because you don’t believe in the cause. In fact, if Justin were any kind of decent, he’d have sex with her, too. Sex in the name of our freedom. It’s the most noble sex of all.

UPDATE: Justin has agreed to go as long as his “schedule permits.” Cpl. De Santis has also agreed to go, provided she hasn’t gotten shot or had any limbs blown off.

This may be the best marketing campaign Starbucks has ever had.

Mila Kunis is not only jaw-droppingly beautiful, she’s also incredibly fucking cool. Case in point: she agreed to go to the Marine Corps Ball with a soldier serving in Afghanistan after he posted a video online asking her to be his date in November. I bet he’s kicking himself now for not making it a marriage proposal instead. Fox News says:

Sgt. Scott Moore, of the 3rd Battalion 2nd Marines in Musa Qala, Afghanistan, last week set up a YouTube page and posted a video asking the “Friends With Benefits” star to accompany him to the Marine Corps Ball on November 18th in Greenville, North Carolina.

And when FOX411 asked Kunis about the invitation over the weekend, the clearly flattered 27-year-old actress agreed.

“I’ll go,” she said, turning to [her "Friends with Benefits" co-star Justin] Timberlake. “Are you going to come?”

“They don’t want me! They want you,” Timberlake responded. “You need to do it for your country.”

Kunis nodded.

“I’ll do it,” she confirmed.

Fuckin’ A, she’ll do it. He’s in the middle of the damn desert staring down his own mortality and hoping not to have any of his limbs blown off while protecting her right to play pretend for a living, so the least she could do is show up at his fancy dance for an hour and a half. That said, 90% of the twats in Hollywood wouldn’t even have given him a second thought, so good on Mila. She just stole my heart and my pants. Or maybe I just wasn’t wearing any to begin with.

Mila with Mark Wahlberg shooting “Ted in Boston” last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

The Oscars were last night, and I continued with my annual tradition of not watching it. But here’s the condensed winner’s list, if you were wondering who won what:

BEST PICTURE

The King’s Speech

BEST ACTOR

Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

BEST ACTRESS

Natalie Portman, Black Swan

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Christian Bale, The Fighter

BEST ANIMATED FILM

Toy Story 3

The full list can be seen here. But let’s move on to the more interesting part, shall we? What everyone wore. Here are my personal picks for best dressed.

Anne Hathaway (I’m a sucker for a red dress)

Natalie Portman. I’m not a fan of tight maternity dresses, so extra points for this pretty plum gown.

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Nylon claims to have “227 ways to keep yourself warm this winter” in their January issue, but I’ll do you one better than their boring shearling coats and patterned tights — masturbating to these sexy pictures of Mila Kunis! Your genitals are one of the warmest parts of your body, plus the up-and-down motion naturally converts kinetic energy into heat. But FYI, nobody ever wants to hear that explanation in a crowded restaurant. It’s better to just ask someone to turn the heat up or wear some mittens.

The much ballyhooed lesbian kiss scene between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman in “Black Swan” found its way on the interwebs today, and I don’t really even mind the crappy quality. It’s almost like I’m looking through a high-power telescope into a girl’s bedroom from a tree three yards over. Or as I like to call it, “my element.”

Trailer after the jump:

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Since there’s been so much vileness and whoriness on the site today, I thought I’d put up these pictures of Mila Kunis in next month’s GQ and the winter edition of Genlux Magazine, kind of as a palate cleanser of sorts. I thought it might be nice to look at something that doesn’t make it burn when you pee. Consider her your penicillin shot for the senses, but without any of the embarrassment of waiting in line at the free clinic.

Mila in GQ (thumbs 1 & 2); Mila in Genlux (the rest):

I’m not exactly sure where the editors of Maxim went wrong with this year’s Hot 100 List, but I think a safe bet is sometime around the year 1996, or “the last time the words ‘Jennifer Love Hewitt’ and ‘hot’ were used in a sentence without referencing fudge sundaes” as it’s known to the rest of the modern world.

Your “Top 100″ — 1. Olivia Wilde; 2. Megan Fox; 3. Bar Rafaeli; i4. Malin Akerman; 5. Mila Kunis;6. Eliza Dusku; 7. Adriana Lima; 8. Rihanna; 9. Jordana Brewster; 10. Jennifer Love Hewitt:

The equally disappointing 31-100 listed after the jump

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Interesting fact about Mila Kunis: she has two different color eyes. One is blue; the other is green, à la musician David Bowie. Another interesting fact: she also has two tits. However, all signs indicate that the tits are the same color. Hours of research have taught me that genetic anomalies like those aren’t usually present in pairs. And by “hours of research” I mean “76 volumes of Juggs and Big Titty City.” Science is my one true passion!

Sporting serious cleave on the set of “Extract”: