Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly broke up this past August after three years together, but it looks like they might be reconciling. The Daily Mail says:

The two were spotted at Morgans South Beach, ‘laughing and having a fun breakfast together,’ according to [a] source.

‘They met up to try and figure it out,’ one mole [said]. ‘They are trying to see what the future holds for them. They may eventually get back together. This was not some sort of final conversation and meeting between them.”

I really couldn’t give two shits about what the future holds for either one of them. I just wanted an excuse to put up these pictures of Minka Kelly. If it was all Lindsay Lohan teeth and Marion Cotillard nipples here I’d never see you again.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

I’m pretty sure this is exactly how every guy’s fantasy begins — him flat on his back while a blonde, a brunette and a fill-in-the-blank ethnic minority squat over him and debate who gets him first. I’m glad to see ABC is finally taking the show in the right direction.

Minka Kelly, Rachel Taylor and Annie Ilonzeh filming in Miami:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

A “Charlie’s Angels” crew member was fired last month after “inappropriately touching” actress Minka Kelly’s ass on set of the show. Girls can be so uppity that way. The Daily Mail says:

The member of the crew is believed to have approached the 31-year-old and slapped her across her bottom while clutching a $100 bill in his hand on August 23.

An set insider [said], ‘It seems like it was meant to be a joke, but clearly it was inappropriate. Minka was shocked and absolutely irate. She was still fuming about it hours later.’

When the crew member tried to apologize to Minka the next day, she slapped him across the face.

He was then removed from the production by TV executives the following day.

That sounds like a hundred dollar dare that didn’t go so well. He should be thankful that all he got was bitch-slap and a pink slip, not Derek Jeter with a knife or a bunch of cops and an assault charge on his record. I’ve said it so many times, but you gotta be careful about who you grope on a dare, people. Otherwise I wouldn’t have devoted a whole chapter to it in my new book, “Sexual Battery for the Soul.”

At the Emmy’s with her Charlie’s Angels co-stars Sunday night:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

After nearly three years with the lovely Minka Kelly, Derek Jeter has finally struck out. Sorry, but I’m contractually obligated to use bad baseball puns when referencing their relationship. My hands are tied here. The Daily Mail says:

The 31-year-old actress and 37-year-old baseball star began dating in May 2008 and were [rumored] to have become engaged.

But a representative for Minka has confirmed that the couple have split.

A source [said]: ‘They care about each other and it was amicable. They’re still friends.’

I bet she broke up with him because the last name “Jeter” is just awful. You don’t wanna be saddled with that for the rest of your life. It sounds like a word my stroke-riddled grandmother made up. Or maybe like a type of bug that would get in your hair or ears if you didn’t wash carefully enough.

Minka at the Spike Guy’s Choice awards earlier this summer:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Minka Kelly’s parents were definitely on the right track when they named her Minka, because with a name like that, she was destined to be sexy. Now, had they named her Bertha or Bessie, she’d have an entirely different life altogether. One filled with cystic boils and chronic halitosis and reinforced inseams on her elastic waist pants. Well done, Mr. and Mrs. Kelly!

After looking at these pictures of Minka Kelly, I don’t know why they went and canceled Friday Night Lights. At least, I think they canceled Friday Night Lights. I dunno. I’m not usually home Friday nights. That’s when I do most of my social drinking with people. And I certainly don’t have the .09 seconds it would take to google it and find out for myself. This is my alone drinking time.

From GQ (thumbs 1 & 2); the rest from Esquire last year:

Esquire Magazine has deemed “Friday Night Lights” star Minka Kelly their annual Sexiest Woman Alive, and not just because her mom was a whore, either. That was just an added bonus. Minka told the November 2010 issue:

‘My mom was a dancer. An exotic dancer. She was a stripper. Um, so she would come home at like three, four o’clock in the morning, and sometimes she would have a really great night, and so she would wake me up in the middle of the night and we’d go to Ralphs and go grocery shopping.

And that was so much fun. We’d have the whole grocery store to ourselves, and we would have a blast and buy a hundred dollars in groceries. And it was just the best day ever. The best day.’

She didn’t mention anything about the bad days — the days where mommy stumbled in stinking drunk and oozing hepatitis C and regret. Or as I like to call it, “Saturday morning.”

New York Yankees’ star Derek Jeter is ready to make an honest woman out of his girlfriend of one year, Friday Night Lights’ actress Minka Kelly. According to Page Six

“Derek and Minka are secretly engaged,” [said] an insider. The Yankee captain and the actress are telling close pals to “save the date” for nuptials in the fall. “The wedding is being planned and will take place after baseball season is over,” said our source.

Derek Jeter’s dated Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, and now he just landed Minka Kelly. When it comes to hot women, this guy sure knows how to catch ‘em! Too bad the same thing can’t be said about baseballs.

UPDATE: The NY Daily News is saying he isn’t engaged. And this commercial on the TV is saying that for just pennies on the dollar, I can own my own time share in the Jersey Shore! With prices this low, how can’t I afford not to commit to a lifetime of memories?

Minka in an Esquire photo shoot:

“Friday Night Lights” hottie Minka Kelly was photographed once again with Yankees star Derek Jeter over the weekend, leading some to speculate that the two are now “romantically involved” (read: doing it). According to People Magazine

The baseball star and the actress were spotted cozying up together in Austin, Texas, last Wednesday at the live music club Momo’s. The twosome looked “together and happy,” says one onlooker.

Jeter and Kelly… also attended the University of Texas football game Saturday night.

For the record, in the last ten years, Derek Jeter has been “romantically involved” with Mariah Carey, former Miss Universe Lara Dutta, Scarlett Johansson, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba, Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima, Jessica Biel, and now Minka Kelly. That’s more quality kitty than you could shake a black-smith finish ash wood Louisville Slugger at. In comparison, in the last ten years, I defaulted on my student loans and was arrested twice for spousal abuse. We’ll see which one of us has the more interesting memoir!

Minka in Self magazine and bonus nip-slip from an old GQ shoot: