Now that Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr’s fling with Orlando Bloom is over, she’s sought refuge in the oily arms of douchebag Brandon Davis. According to In Touch Weekly

On July 12, Brandon and Miranda were spotted “full on making out” at 1Oak [and] kissing at Beatrice Inn. While a rep for Miranda denies she has split with Orlando, she was overheard telling Brandon about the breakup. “Miranda always seems to go to Brandon when she has a fight with Orlando,” the insider says. “He’s her rebound guy.”

“Rebound?” That’s gotta be a misquote. The source probably meant grease hound. You know, for those times when a plate full of bacon drippings and vaseline just don’t fill the void.

When Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr and actor Orlando Bloom indulge in a little public nudity on vacation in Spain, everybody’s all smiles and sunshine and “so nice to see you again, sir!” You try waltzing out to the hotel pool in nothing but arm floaties and a bottle of Old Grandad and see how long it takes before the policía municipal show up with billy clubs. My personal best is 4 minutes 56 seconds.