Kourtney Kardashian revealed that she was pregnant with baby number two in an Us Magazine exclusive interview! yesteday. What a nice, konveniently timed diversion from the PR disaster that was Kim’s marriage.

The E! reality star, 32, took a pregnancy test about five weeks ago.

“Now I’m nine weeks along,” Kardashian tells Us. “You’re supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel confident.”

The son or daughter-to-be will be the second child for the couple of five years, whose son Mason, nearly 2, was a bit of a surprise.

Not so much for baby number two.

“It wasn’t like we weren’t trying,” Disick, 28, says. “We kind of just said, ‘If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.’”

Notice how she said “You’re supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel konfident?” Prediction: Kourtney’s gonna have a “miscarriage.” Just you wait and fucking see. It’ll be a very touching Kardashian Special: The MisKarriage of the Century. I’m calling that shit now. And then when it happens just like I said it would, you’ll turn to me and say, “But Abby… but how did you know?” and then you’ll smile and mouth “peyote?” and I’ll give you a little wink.

Well, she’s certainly gained the appropriate weight around the hips and thighs as per her agent’s instruction:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Glamour model Kelly Brook revealed yesterday that she had lost the baby girl she was expecting with former rugby star Thom Evans. The Daily Mail says:

The striking model, 31, who was nearly five months pregnant, was rushed to hospital at the end of last week, but tragically suffered a miscarriage.

A spokesman for the star said, “I can confirm that Kelly and Thom have very sadly lost their baby. They request that everyone please respects their privacy at this very painful time.

There will be no further comment.”

The only thing less funny than a dead baby is Andy Dick and maybe the Holocaust, so I’m just gonna say, “Hey, look! More pictures of Julianne Hough in a bikini!” and leave it at that. Condolences, Kelly.

Hey, look! More pictures of Julianne Hough in a bikini!:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Like a phoenix rising, new life has sprung from the barren wasteland of Celine Dion’s uterus. Despite suffering a miscarriage last November, her turkey baster will go on! Popeater reports the happy news:

Less than a year after suffering a tragic miscarriage, Celine Dion is pregnant again, this time with twins. The singer’s husband, Rene Angelil, told PEOPLE they couldn’t be happier.

“We’re ecstatic,” he said. “Celine is just hoping for a healthy pregnancy. She was hoping for one baby and the news that we are having two is a double blessing.”

According to her publicist, the 42-year-old Dion is 14 weeks pregnant and plans to find out the sex of the babies next month. The five-time Grammy-winning had been going through several rounds of in-vitro fertilization in recent months.

Dion’s miscarriage last year came just months after she announced her pregnancy. She appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s show in February to discuss the tragedy.

“It’s life. You know? A lot of people go through this, but it’s not being told because it’s not in the newspaper,” Dion said.

Dion and her husband, 68, who is also her manager, have one son, 9-year-old Rene Charles.

It’s like Ian Malcolm said in Jurassic Park: “Life finds a way.” Even if it has to be beaten out of half-dead sperm from a geriatric and forcibly injected into a past-its-prime uterus, by golly, they’ll MAKE it find a way!

With her old man in New York:

Page Six posted the following scandalous blind item this morning:

Which actress went into rehab only after she suffered a miscarriage? She was on a four-day cocaine bender when she lost the baby she didn’t even know she was carrying.

And then I happened across these pictures of freshly-rehabbed actress Eva Mendes leaving a Beverly Hills medical center on Monday and put two and two together. “Put two and two together,” of course being journalism speak for “wildly speculating without authenticating.” As seen on the Fox News channel!