You might remember those incredibly unflattering pictures of Mischa Barton sunbathing in Australia that hit the net last month. The ones she claimed were photoshopped so the paparazzi could make more money off them. Curiously, Mischa was photographed plodding around New York on Friday with the very same set of legs that you saw in those pictures. Mischa defended herself, telling the The Daily Mail

“Photographers try to get the most unflattering shots. They know they are worth more money. Every woman has cellulite.”

I imagine she had more to say on the subject, but was cut short when an Indian in buttless chaps and glitter eyeshadow walked up and bitch-slapped her for stealing his vest. Oh no she didn’t!

May the great eagle spirit walk with you:

Mischa Barton is claiming that the man who photographed her sunbathing topless in Australia last weekend did a little retaliatory photoshopping in an attempt to make her look bad. Barton’s rep tells Rush and Molloy

“Those photos are doctored. They’ve given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old. There’s a lot you can do with Photoshopping. [Photographer Jamie Fawcett is determined] to make Mischa look bad because she called him out for taking the topless shots.”

Oh, come off it already, Mischa. The photos aren’t doctored and we all know it. Remember, nobody likes a crybaby. Crybabies get picked last for kickball and don’t go to prom and end up living with their mothers and developing glandular issues and hiding behind their computers making fun of people they don’t know in a feeble attempt to quell their own self-loathing. Frankly, that kind of existence is a little pathetic.

Kudos to the artist who managed to sculpt such a lifelike Mischa Barton entirely out of chewed bubble gum. It takes real talent to create with such a difficult medium! Not to mention jaws of steel and a mouth riddled with cavities. Most Mischa sculptors just stick with garbage bags full of loose change and relief maps of Scandinavia. “It’s just easier that way,” they’re quoted as saying.

Larger header images after the jump, and 22-year old Mischa covered up at the Costume Institute Gala last night:

(more…)

22-year old actress Mischa Barton was formally charged yesterday for that DUI she got last December. People Magazine says

Mischa Barton has been charged with driving under the influence and possession of marijuana… [and] driving without a valid license. Her arraignment on the misdemeanor charges is set for Thursday in Beverly Hills Superior Court.

Let’s just hope this arrest won’t interfere with her busy career of hawking canvas tennis shoes and affordable teen fashion! It’d be a real shame if she couldn’t continue to collect a paycheck for having been “The O.C.’s” Marissa Cooper. And finding a generic half-decade-old-teen-drama¹ spokesmodel replacement would be damn near impossible. It’d be like looking for a needle in a haystack, or in the case of the Fox network, a turd in a septic tank.

¹_{Excluding the cast of “Beverly Hills, 90210,” “Party of Five,” “Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” etc., etc.}

Clairols #172 “Trailer Park Blonde” shopping at Urban Outfitters last week:

Mischa Barton was supposed to receive $30,000 to host the grand opening of the CatHouse Loungerie in Vegas, but the plans fell through when she was arrested for DUI last week. But rather than being pissed about the canceled appearance, the club owners were actually happy that Meesh was a no-show. Page Six says

The 21-year-old actress’ handlers were “difficult . . . They wanted a bigger jet [sent]. Mischa wanted to bring her dogs.” Another spy said that Barton… didn’t like the scantily clad model on the invite: “[Her reps] wanted the invitation redone because they thought it was too risque for her image.” Barton even had the nerve to have Paris and Nicky Hilton banned from the bash. “They were blacklisted. Mischa’s team didn’t want her to be associated with the party-girl scene,” a source said.

Irony, is that you? Avoiding Paris Hilton is good and all, but I’m pretty sure nothing says “party-girl scene” like getting a DUI. Her handlers maybe should mention that to her next time. Well, at least her arrest wasn’t a total disaster — it seems to have rekindled the interest of former flame Cisco “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” Adler. Page Six adds

Mischa’s ex still has a thing for her. [Cisco] told the likes of Danny Masterson at the Friday opening of nightclub Home in St. Louis that he felt for [Mischa] after she was arrested for DUI the day before in Hollywood. “He went around telling everyone that she looked so hot in her mug shot,” said a spy.

If he thinks her mugshot’s hot, then he should check out “Faces of Meth” and “STD’s and You (NSFW).” There’s enough spank material there to last for weeks. And don’t forget about the bus station! I’m sure the Hoeboken Greyhound depot is chock-full of lovelies with sexy mugshots.

Mischa in the January issue of Arena magazine:

Mischa Barton was arrested early this morning for DUI, narcotics possession and driving on a suspended license. TMZ says

The former “O.C.” star was pulled around 2:45 AM as she was driving in West Hollywood. Cops say she “was seen straddling two lanes of traffic and failed to signal when making a turn.” When deputies pulled her over, they determined that she “was an unlicensed driver and was driving while under the influence of an alcoholic beverage.”

I always thought a better name for “The O.C.” would have been “The B.A.C,” and instead of smarmy twats and their prep school boyfriends bitching and whining about their superficial angst, you could just have security footage of drunk people throwing up and falling down, possibly hurting and/or humiliating themselves. Think about the money you’d save in production costs alone. I never watched one single episode of “The O.C.,” but I can promise you I wouldn’t have missed an opportunity to see Mischa passed out in a puddle of her own barf while some hobo rifled through her purse. That’s what you call a “recipe for success,” Fox Network. Sometimes it just happens to smell a lot like urine.