Former Miss California Carrie Prejean made it sound like her sex tape was an isolated incident, but it turns out there are actually eight videos of Carrie working over her Holy of Holies, along with thirty nude photos of the pageant star. Radar Online says

She called the sex tape “the biggest mistake of her life.”

Now an investigation has uncovered that there are SEVEN more “biggest mistakes” of her life – all of them solo performances, just like the one sex tape that the religious beauty queen has admitted to. And there are 30 photos of Carrie, most topless, some showing everything, and most taken by Carrie using her reflection in a mirror.

She might have lost out on her pageant settlement because of those tapes, but porn company Vivid Entertainment is now offering Ms. Prejean a hefty settlement to sign over the rights to the video for public distribution. According to TMZ

Vivid honcho Steven Hirsch [contacted] Prejean’s lawyer, Charles Limandri, [and asked] to acquire the rights to distribute “erotic footage that Carrie Prejean produced for her boyfriend following their four day rendezvous in February 2007.”

In the letter, Hirsch tries tempting Carrie with this: “We would like to present Carrie with several options where she could certainly earn millions of dollars.”

[However, Prejean's] attorney says Carrie’s mom/rep says, “No, at any price.”

Given the nature of all this, I really enjoyed the following quote from her new book “Still Standing”: “God gave us our bodies, our temples of the Holy Spirit, and it’s perfectly right that we use them in ways where we can give glory to God.” Hell, I didn’t know masturbating was giving glory to God. Mom and Dad always acted like it was a sin. This is really going to change the way I do Mass.

Miss California Carrie Prejean was demanding over a million dollars in compensatory damages from pageant officials in a lawsuit last month — that is, until Pageant attorneys showed Carrie they were in possession of her sex tape. According to TMZ

The video the lawyer showed Carrie is extremely graphic and has never been released publicly. We know that, because TMZ obtained the video months ago but decided not to post it because it was so racy. Let’s just say, Carrie has a promising solo career.

We’re told it took about 15 seconds for Carrie to jettison her demand and essentially walk away. She pocketed nothing in the settlement.

So when it happens to David Letterman, it’s extortion that merits FBI intervention and jail time. When Carrie Prejean is blackmailed out of a million-dollar settlement with a sex tape, it’s just “legal negotiations.” I see. I’ll have to remember that when I show that girl from HR the secret camera-phone footage I took of her on the crapper last week.

Annoyingly censored topless pics before she got the fake titties:

It looks like raging hateration just isn’t as rewarding as it used to be — Miss California Carrie Prejean got fired.  From TMZ:

We‘ve learned “biblically correct” Carrie Prejean will lose her Miss California USA crown today because she doesn’t play well with others.

Sources connected with the pageant tell us even Donald Trump has now had it with Carrie, because she’s violating her contract by not getting clearance to do her extracurricular stuff.

We’re also told Carrie has been a no-show for appearances she was supposed to make for the pageant organization.Trump told us Carrie refused to appear at around 30 events on behalf of Miss California USA. He says Prejean was contractually bound to appear and she just wouldn’t do it. He doesn’t think her attitude has anything to do with her politics.

Trump said: “To me she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else — she treated like s**t.”

Donald Trump is one of the biggest famewhores alive and would probably auction off his own children to a traveling circus if it garnered him any more attention or money, so this dumb bitch must’ve been unfathomably heinous to actually grate on his last nerve and make him get rid of her.  I mean really, just HOW BADLY do you have to treat people for Donald fucking Trump to call you out on your jackassy behaviour?

Don’t feel too sorry for ol’ Carrie, though.  She could probably get a job as a social secretary, maybe organising Klan rallies or some such thing.

Miss California Carrie Prejean might have taken an unpopular stance against gay marriage, but it’s come to light that her own mother feels a bit differently. Turns out ol’ Mommy Prejean is all about the poonanny herself! According to Star Magazine

Miss California USA’s own mother, Francine Coppola, was entangled in a lesbian love affair right up until the night Carrie placed second in the Miss USA contest!

Openly gay sales rep Valerie Vetrano tells Star exclusively, “Yes, Francine and I dated.”

Francine’s family knew nothing of her affair, although during her 1996 divorce from Carrie’s father both made gay allegations against the other.

I was going to try to find a lesbian spin on that old saying “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” but you’d be surprised how few metaphors out there reference patchouli and long-sleeved flannel.

At a press conference with Donald Trump and Shanna Moakler:

Our good friends over at The Dirty got their paws on a picture of Miss California Carrie Prejean posing topless before earning her crown — and several much-more-naked pictures will supposedly be making their way to the interwebs soon. Posing nude obviously doesn’t mesh with the ultra-conservative Christian values champion image she’s been cultivating since her infamous “I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman” response at the last month’s Miss USA competition. But no doubt about it — that’s her. Topless. TMZ says

Carrie’s rep… gave us this statement yesterday: “This was a photo that was taken several years ago, when Carrie first started modeling. An agent convinced her to pose for this photo to submit to a lingerie company, claiming they could make her the next Victoria’s Secret model. She has since learned what a lie that was, and what a mistake it was to have the photo taken.

Is there any allowance for the fact that she was a minor when the photo was taken, that would allow you not to post? She was only 17.”

A honcho at Miss California USA told us Carrie may have violated her contract, because she represented several times in writing that she never posed nude or partially nude for any photo. We’re here to tell you … that’s not true, [but] we haven’t posted the pics and won’t unless we know she was over 18.

Underneath their posturing and sense of self-righteousness, Bible-beater types are all insatiable sluts. Trust me, I know. My dad was a preacher. Years of shame and sexual repression are a veritable breeding ground for all kinds of fetishes and unchecked deviance. You put that guilty desire in the right hands and you will discover a world of pleasure the likes of which you’ve never known. And by “right hands” I of course mean “tequila.” The cheaper the better.