24-year old Muslim Christian (?) Rima Fakih beat out 50 other contestants to win the title “Miss USA” on Sunday night, about two hours before pictures of her working a stripper pole at an exotic-dancing competition three years ago hit the interwebs. I’d like to point out that she’s wearing less in the Miss USA pageant than she is on the stripper pole, but apparently whoring for Donald Trump is okay because it’s primetime and Proctor & Gamble sponsored. The Daily Mail says

She was hailed as the shining example of the American dream, a Lebanese-born woman who became the first Muslim Miss U.S.A.

But her victory was already tarnished last night by revelations that she won a pole dancing contest at a strip club in Detroit in 2007. It is not known if organisers of Miss USA were aware of Miss Fakih winning the ‘Stripper 101′ contest at the Coliseum Gentleman’s Club.

Supporters had claimed that her success in the Miss U.S.A. contest showed the true face of Arab Americans at a time when they have come under the spotlight over attempted terror attacks.

I know I already told you about this whole “Miss USA stripper scandal” in the quickies yesterday, but I didn’t get the chance to say what I really wanted to say about the dangers of assigning worth to a title so inconsequential and making a pageant queen the poster child for the “true face of the Arab-American.” That is: the great thing about Muslim chicks is that they’re already on their knees five times a day anyway. High five! Yeeeah, baby! You see why I couldn’t let a gem like that go to waste.

I used to get high and watch “Passions” on NBC from time to time, just for shits and giggles. It was quite possibly the crappiest soap opera in recorded history. It was so bad that you almost had to figure they were in on the joke, and that maybe it was really some kind of parodistic masterpiece. Except it wasn’t. Anyway, I forgot where the hell I was going with this. Oh, yeah — the chick who played Beth Wallace on Passions is now a bonafide porn star. Dun dun dun! TMZ says

The former Miss USA 1991 is now a “Vivid Entertainment” girl — and has just wrapped on her first XXX feature, “Faithless,” in which she plays the lead character.

So, why the career move? Here’s the explanation — “I enjoy acting, and I really like sex … so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions.”

Let’s just hope her fucking isn’t as wooden as her acting! Unless we’re talking about the inevitable onslaught of penises, in which case “wooden” will probably do just fine.

At the “Nuts for Mutts” pet fair, presumably because “Nuts for Nuts-On-My-Chin” had not yet been invented: