Auditory diarrhea is not just something you can hear in the bathroom stall of your local Denny’s anymore, it’s something that you can experience in full digital, surround-sound glory! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, you can now experience tympanic esctasy when you listen to Paris Hilton and Benji Madden’s upcoming duet! Not satisfied to just create the colonic blowout that was her first album, Paris Hilton is in plans to enter the studio with main squeeze Benji Madden. The Mirror reports,

The heiress has already been writing about her new album on her official blog, but now she’s confirmed that her other half is to make a cameo on it.

Talking to top Los Angeles-based showbiz website Hollyscoop, Paris said: “Well, actually I have a studio at the house. He [Benji] actually helped me write some of the songs for my new album, and for the BFF show (her new UK reality show for MTV). He’s a really amazing talent, songwriter and singer.”

On asked whether they would duet, Ms Hilton said: “Yes, definitely. When the show comes out.”

One thing is for certain, it’s sure to go down the anals annals of history as one of the best sycopated bowel movement of all time! Can’t you just smell the success?

Bigfoot and Benji out and about

Lindsay Lohan keeps thwarting Universal Motown’s attempts to make her new album a success. According to Gatecrasher

“Universal [lined] up great producing talents, and, recently, they even hooked Timbaland. But Lindsay has canceled their planned meetings twice,” says a snitch.

However, after a rocky start, singer-songwriter Ne-Yo is still on board. Lindsay had rejected some initial tracks from the star-maker, who has created hits for Rihanna, Usher and Celine Dion. But he is still in talks to work with the rehabbed pop star.

Frankly, I imagine it was all downhill for Universal once Lindsay discovered “let’s make beautiful music together” wasn’t a coy euphemism for “let’s do it in the butt.”

On the set of her music video: