I haven’t the vaguest idea what in the holy hell the “Paris Hilton Tea Party” is, but apparently it was hosted by Paris Hilton at the Covent Garden Hotel.  Riddle me that, won’t you please?  Actually, nevermind.  I bet it’s just something totally assy and retarded, since Paris is in London to promote the British version of “My New BFF”.  I love it when those snide Brits indulge her delusions of holding court.  Check out that lady standing behind Paris.  You just know she’s muttering to herself about silk purses and sow’s ears.

Paris arriving at the Covent Garden Hotel in London to host the Paris Hilton Tea Party (say that out loud with a straight face, I dare you):

“Rock” singer Brittany Flickinger is the big winner of Paris Hilton’s “My New BFF” contest on MTV. According to the Post-Chronicle

Brittany was named Hilton’s [Best Friend Forever] on the finale of Tuesday’s… show on MTV. Paris told Brittany, “I hope you’ll join me for our life together Because you’re my new BFF. Are you ready for a crazy life?”

So… you’re saying “BFF” doesn’t stand for “Brainless Blowjob Festival?” Well, what about “Boil-riddled Floppy Fish-taco?” Still no? I guess the head honchos at MTV had already seen “One Night in Paris,” then. No sense being redundant!

Visit Brittany’s MySpace here.