I guess nine is the magic number when it comes to extramarital affairs, because Tiger Woods’ wife has packed up her shit and moved out. The Daily Mail says

Elin Nordegren, the mother of Woods’ two young children, has moved out of the family home and is now living in a nearby house.

According to Swedish newspapers she bought Faglaro Mansion, which sits on an island close to Stockholm, with her sister rather than with her husband.

And it seems that Tiger may not have just had a penchant for the poonanny in all this — it’s being reported today that he was rushed to hospital for a suspected overdose the day he crashed his car outside his house:

The star’s wife, Elin Nordegren, gave paramedics at the hospital two bottles of [Tiger's] prescription drugs, Vicodin painkillers and Ambien sleeping pills [after his crash].

He was said to have been having trouble breathing, was falling in and out of consciousness and doctors even had to use a tube to help him breathe.

Woods was said to have been drinking and taking Ambien and Vicodin on the night he crashed his car outside the family home.

And speaking of unconscious and unable to breathe, an unidentified blond woman was rushed from Tiger’s home “on advanced life support” at 2:30 this morning. TMZ says

A middle-aged, blond woman was taken to the hospital early this morning. We have now confirmed the call came from Tiger’s address. We also know a younger blond woman followed the ambulance to the hospital. And, as we reported, Elin’s mom is in the U.S. to be with her daughter. An ambulance reportedly raced to Tiger Woods’ block in Windermere, FL overnight — and transported a middle-aged woman to the hospital … but there are conflicting reports.

So, clearly, Tiger tried to slip a little arsenic into Elin’s Ovaltine and his mother-in-law accidentally drank it instead. That’s one you can’t bounce back from. The public will forgive the occasional wandering penis and addiction issues, even excuse child rape if your last name is Polanski, but you don’t get carte blanche when it comes to killing people just because you’re famous. That only works if you’re drunk and hit them with your car. Just ask the NFL!

UPDATE: TMZ is now confirming that the mystery woman was Elin’s mother, who went to the hospital with “stomach pains” and is in stable condition.

Meet 43-year old “actress” Michelle Johnson, the mystery woman seen sucking face with 29-year-old football player Tony Romo the day after he dumped Jessica Simpson. Of course, that’s her 25 years ago. I imagine the tits look a little different now. Splash News Online says

Tony and Michelle hooked up after the sports star turned up to a party she threw in L.A’s Sunset Marquis hotel. A source said: “From the moment he got there he was all over her. They were kissing and she sat on his lap.”

Now today we can reveal exactly why Michelle at 14 years his senior may have caught Tony’s attention. In these images taken from her 1984 film Michelle shows her wild side as she repeatedly strips for the camera.

So he went from banging Jessica Simpson to stuffing a middle-aged divorcee who starred in such hits as “Menendez: A Killing in Beverly Hills” and “Her Final Fury: Betty Broderick, the Last Chapter.” And I didn’t think it was possible to sink any lower without actually having sex with a retarded chick. Well-played, Tony Romo. Well-played.

With Demi Moore in 1984′s “Blame it on Rio”: