After dating Jamie Kennedy for almost a year, Jennifer Love Hewitt is now single again. People Magazine says

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy have broken up.

Though some called them an unlikely couple, Kennedy and Hewitt regularly gushed over each other.

Kennedy told Ryan Seacrest [in 2009], “I’m in love! It’s like, ‘Wow, you are hot. You can sing, you can dance, you’re like, so smart and, wow, you can cook pasta fagioli, too.’”

Yes, but can she cook that pasta fagioli in a thong? Adrianne Curry sure can (see NSFW evidence by clicking the image above), and she’s actually married. Maybe that irrational need for pants is weighing you down in more ways than one, ladies.

Jennifer not showing her ass (tsk, tsk) with Jamie at the Twilight premiere last year, plus some of her at the 100th episode of Ghost Whisperer:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Photographer Terry Richardson looks like he should be on a street corner in a wheelchair with a bottle of whiskey and recurring Nam flashbacks (see him here in this creepy pic with the whole Lohan family) but he has somehow managed to convince the women he shoots to take off their clothes in the name of “art.” Don’t get me wrong here; I’m not arguing objectification. Objectify and hyper-sexualize all you want. What I’m arguing against is the masquerading of objectification as art. Don’t dip a turd in frosting and tell me it’s a goddamn cupcake. Because now I make sure to really smell all desserts before I actually bite into them. That’s one mistake I won’t make twice!

Click header for NSFW image

Daryl Hannah might be old enough to actually remember the Bay of Pigs and the debut of Mr. Ed on a three-channel television set, but damn if she doesn’t still look good naked. I always thought that chaining yourself to a tree was only good for making yourself victim of anal rape and sodomy, but apparently, it also does wonders for the physique. I’ll have to remember that the next time I’m wandering alone in the woods in Western Apalachicola.

With her clothes on at some hippie-dippy whale thing:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

“The Hills” star Audrina Partridge strips down in the British version of FHM, which you’ll notice is a lot like our FHM, but with kilometers instead of miles and fish ‘n’ chips instead of toothbrushes. Lucky for us, boobs are not bound by cultural idiosyncrasies. Pip pip cheerio, mates!

I’m not sure how old these pictures of Victoria’s Secret angel Rosie Huntington-Whiteley are, but it says “2010″ on the cover, so I figure they’re recent. It also says “Enero” in tiny print under the title, which I just discovered is Spanish for “it’s tits you faggy know-it-all crybaby.” Nobody likes a whiner!

Several of these are NSFW, but all are VSFM (very suitable for masturbating):

The Real Housewives of New York’s Kelly Bensimon has a spread in next month’s issue of Playboy magazine, which you won’t see here because Playboy has lots of lawyers who seem unfazed by my sparkling intellect and effervescent joie de vivre (legally approved teaser pic here). Instead, you can visualize what she looks like naked using only these pics of her in a bikini and the power of your imagination. Like the lion with the glasses on the poster at the library says, imagination can take you anywhere!

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online

I’m all about the “suspenders with underpants” look. I think it could work for me just like it’s working for Heidi Klum in these pictures. Only instead of a metal chain or a strip of leather, I’d have to use something a little wider, like maybe six Ace bandages stitched together or a timing belt from an M1 Abram’s tank. Nipples the size of dinner plates can be both a blessing and a curse.

Now that he’s through bumpin uglies with Kate Hudson, Yankees star Alex Rodriguez has set his sights on broader jawlines. According to the NY Daily News

The Yankees slugger is now reportedly hooking up with big screen star Cameron Diaz.

The twosome was spotted dancing the night away in Miami the day before the Super Bowl. Rodriguez, 34, and Diaz, 37, “were having a great time,” while the actress was “grinding on A-Rod.”

And from the sound of it – the duo aren’t just having a fleeting flirtation.

“A-Rod and Cameron have been totally hooking up,” a snitch told the mag.

Well, there’s a match made in lower mandible heaven. I bet their offspring would look like a cross between Bruce Campbell and a trapezoid. Rumer Willis and angler fish everywhere would be so jealous!

Maxillofacialogy isn’t all that sexy, so enjoy Abbey Clancey in body paint instead:

Miranda Kerr is nude in the February 2010 issue of GQ.  If you’re interested, some GQ drone did a sissified interview where he talked to Miranda about her yappy little dog, her jailbird ex-boyfriend, the unsexiness of Victoria’s Secret and whether Orlando Bloom gets lonely.  If you’re not a complete fruitcake, you can skip that bullshit and just look at more Miranda Kerr:

Ashley Greene is everywhere lately because ain’t no escaping any o’ them Twilight fools, but at least she’s better than Kristen Stewart.  Ashley doesn’t incessantly bite her lip like she’s trying to eat her own face from the inside out, and she also generally looks like she washes her hair at least once a week.  More importantly, Ashley has been slutting it up as hard as she can recently, which makes my job easier because you pervs are insatiable and it’s winter and the only other ladies flitting around half naked today are Victoria Silvstedt, who is an actual whore (as in literally a prostitute) and Rachel Zoe, who looks like she’s been dead since about 2006.

More photos from Ashley Greene’s “skinsuit” body paint shoot for SoBe Life Water, which will be featured in the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (you can see a video of the shoot here):

This is Ashley Greene in a body paint “skinsuit” on the Turks and Caicos islands for a new SoBe commercial.  Photos from the shoot will appear in the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

The 22-year-old actress modeled two of make-up artist Joanne Gair’s hand-painted SoBe skinsuits which were inspired by the new, exotic SoBe Lifewater 0 calorie flavors — Cherimoya Punch and Strawberry Dragonfruit. The skinsuits take their design cues from the SoBe bottles – from the painted scales right down to SoBe’s signature lizard.

Ashley shared, “Being a part of the SoBe skinsuit shoot in the Turks and Caicos was amazing. It took the artist 12 hours to paint the SoBe scales on each skinsuit, but it was totally worth it. It’s an experience I’ll never forget.”

Oh and hey, if you like half-naked ladies and gambling (and who doesn’t?) you can enter SoBe’s “Zero Calories, Zero Inhibitions Vegas Sweepstakes” which runs from now until Friday, January 29 on SoBe.com. One winner and three friends will receive tickets to the invite-only 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition launch in Las Vegas.

I don’t know how this stupid bitch has managed to convince people she’s a celebrity, but former America’s Next Top Model winner Adrianne Curry has found herself in the limelight once again, thanks to pictures of her titty-sandwiching a Darth Vader dildo and playing World of Warcraft naked. She posted the above picture over the weekend and tweeted

jumping into shower. going to spend my afternoon playing World Of Warcraft butt naked & stoned. Perfect Sunday!

According to my eHarmony profile, my perfect Sunday consists of long walks on the beach, snuggling in front of a fire, and arranging my Beanie Babies in alphabetical order after dressing my two cats in footie pajamas and making them pretend to nurse from me. Yet nobody ever calls.

Oh, hey, look — she’s a naked lesbian now zzzzz….: