Jesse James just found a way to make the title “Most Hated Man in America” really stick — his stepmother claims he tortured helpless animals and pledged his allegiance to the Third Reich when he was just a kid. The Huffington Post says

“Jesse became obsessed with Hitler’s personality and the SS and he was fascinated with the Nazis. He definitely has an attraction with the power race thing,” former stepmother Janina James Coan told Radaronline.com

Jesse’s Nazi obsession extended to a fascination with Josef Mengele, a concentration camp ‘Angel of Death’ who would perform unimaginable experiments on captives.

“When Jesse was about 14 or 15 years old he started killing baby rats by injecting them with alcohol,” she said. “He told me it’s what Dr. Mengele would do.”

When asked why he would torture animals like that, James reportedly said, “Well, it’s easier than burning down a church or raping a blind kid. Sieg Heil!” And that’s about the time his agent turned the pistol on himself and everybody started screaming.

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

You don’t get to be a tatted Nazi slutty hooker by being especially intelligent (come on, when she gets old her tats are gonna look like the Lucky Charms dude jizzed all over her),  but Michelle “Bombshell”  ”Nazi Big Boobs” McGee thought taking on celebrity smack-talker Chelsea Handler was something she could handle. Wrong! Says Popeater,

The war of words began after Handler posted a joke about McGee on her blog, saying, “I guess she doesn’t read magazines which makes sense, since she basically has one on her face.” In Handler-land, that’s about as tame as a joke is going to get, and given the amount of ink spilled dissing McGee since the Jesse James infidelity scandal broke, she should have just left it go.

But she didn’t, of course. Bad move.

McGee responded on her Facebook page, saying, “Chelsea, here’s some free advice: Use some of that Botox from your forehead and put it in your flabby underarm skin. I’ve seen better wings in a bucket of KFC chicken.”

…Handler took to her show last night and dealt McGee a proper smackdown. After cracking a few jokes about dipping her arms in blue cheese, the host got a little hostile: “First of all, look at my forehead, you dumb b***h, okay? It moves. You have a tattoo on your forehead, so you have had a needle in your forehead — and probably Jesse James’ b***s. So shut your face.”

You have shamed the memory of Der Führer, fraulein. Now go deep-throat your collector’s Nazi Walther PPK handgun (you should have no problem with that part) and do what must be done.

Jesse James may be a serial adulterer and all-around tattooed white trash, but he’s not a Nazi. Us Weekly says,

An attorney for Jesse James is explaining his client’s shocking “Nazi salute” photo unearthed by Us Weekly.

Lawyer Joe Yanny told CNN that the German Nazi hat worn by James in the 2004 snapshot (in which James strikes a “Heil Hitler” pose and mimics Hitler’s mustache) was actually a “gag gift” from James’ Jewish godfather.

While in poor taste, possessing or wearing the accessory doesn’t make James a neo-Nazi, Yanny insisted.

To further prove that James is no anti-Semite, Yanny added that James lived for nearly a month in an Israeli kibbutz.

“He did it for shock value,” a source tells Us Weekly of the photo, taken in James’ home. The tattooed biker is “just a history buff,” an insider tells Us Weekly. “He had a stepmom whose father lost family in the camps, and they’d talk about it growing up. Jesse’s not a white supremacist.”

It’s a good thing that none of his mistresses have shown any sort of white supremacist leanings, because that would make this explanation seem like total bullshit.

James with his daughter Sunny:

Things just aren’t looking up for Jesse James since news of his affair with fetish model Michelle McGee broke. Unless you’re talking about a one-handed Third Reich salute, in which case it is very much looking up, because that’s how white supremacists do it, you see. TMZ says

[These] shocking photos of Michelle McGee were taken almost a year ago. We’re told the Nazi-themed layout — complete with a swastika armband and backdrop — was the photographer’s idea, but that Michelle was very enthusiastic.

In child custody documents filed in January, Michelle’s ex-husband says she “makes the Nazi salute,” and has a swastika tattooed on her stomach (not seen in these pics).

In one photo the letter “w” is on Michelle’s left leg, and the letter “p” on her right. We’re told Michelle tells people it stands for “white power.”

Oof. That’s like finding out the dog turd you stepped in barefoot had a bunch of broken glass and rusty nails in. No offense to any dog turds out there, of course. It’s just a innocuous visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of “going from bad to worse to Jesus-fucking-Christ-what-the-hell-did-I-just-stick-my-dick-in.” Or as you probably call it, Saturday morning.

See the rest of the charming pictures at TMZ.